Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
...want to set the record straight?
Let me rewind a bit here. Back in 2010, I found that my H was having (at least) an emotional A with someone he had known years before that. He never admitted to an A, but he kept the correspondence between the two of them secret the whole time. I suspected something was going on with him, so I checked the phone bill and saw he'd been calling and receiving phone calls from some number that I didn't know. So I googled the number and found out who it was.
When I confronted him about it, he swore they were just friends. I also found out from a mutual friend that he "hung out" with her while I was out of town for a weekend. He again swore they were just friends. Without any concrete evidence, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but told him he had to cut all contact with her, to which he obliged.
However, it wasn't long before I caught him doing some shady stuff with someone else (I actually caught him at the girl's house). Once again, he swore they were just friends (even though he hid it from me), but by that time, I had had enough. And I kicked him out.
After that he moved in with his parents. Long story short, we ended up getting divorced (we were together for 6 years, married for 4) and he ended up getting married to the first woman I mentioned. I was close to many of his family members, but after we split, I didn't try to contact any of them and no one ever tried to contact me to talk about what really happened. I know he told his family that we got in a fight and I kicked him out. I know he left out the important parts, and I know they wouldn't have believed me if I told them he was doing things behind my back.
Anyway, fast forward to earlier this month when his brother contacted me through a social media platform. While neither of us brought up the divorce, we just made small talk, I really wanted to tell him the real reason for the split and that the woman his brother is currently married to is who I suspected he cheated on me with. But I didnt, mostly because I'm in a really good relationship now and didnt think it really mattered anymore. Still, I can't help wanting them to know that it wasn't my fault.
I haven't spoken again to the brother since that initial contact, but if I do, do you think I should tell him, or just let it go? How have you dealt with family members of your CS?
Let me rewind a bit here. Back in 2010, I found that my H was having (at least) an emotional A with someone he had known years before that. He never admitted to an A, but he kept the correspondence between the two of them secret the whole time. I suspected something was going on with him, so I checked the phone bill and saw he'd been calling and receiving phone calls from some number that I didn't know. So I googled the number and found out who it was.
When I confronted him about it, he swore they were just friends. I also found out from a mutual friend that he "hung out" with her while I was out of town for a weekend. He again swore they were just friends. Without any concrete evidence, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but told him he had to cut all contact with her, to which he obliged.
However, it wasn't long before I caught him doing some shady stuff with someone else (I actually caught him at the girl's house). Once again, he swore they were just friends (even though he hid it from me), but by that time, I had had enough. And I kicked him out.
After that he moved in with his parents. Long story short, we ended up getting divorced (we were together for 6 years, married for 4) and he ended up getting married to the first woman I mentioned. I was close to many of his family members, but after we split, I didn't try to contact any of them and no one ever tried to contact me to talk about what really happened. I know he told his family that we got in a fight and I kicked him out. I know he left out the important parts, and I know they wouldn't have believed me if I told them he was doing things behind my back.
Anyway, fast forward to earlier this month when his brother contacted me through a social media platform. While neither of us brought up the divorce, we just made small talk, I really wanted to tell him the real reason for the split and that the woman his brother is currently married to is who I suspected he cheated on me with. But I didnt, mostly because I'm in a really good relationship now and didnt think it really mattered anymore. Still, I can't help wanting them to know that it wasn't my fault.
I haven't spoken again to the brother since that initial contact, but if I do, do you think I should tell him, or just let it go? How have you dealt with family members of your CS?
They are now dating with the story line that he is a knight rescuing the lady.
People in town eat the bullshit up.
I have 2 kids in high school, they know about the affair.
People in town buy the story that implies me to be a drone. Id like to speak my piece and set the record straight but why?
So I clear it with an audience of fools.
In your case, it is similar, if they suspect that their son , brother is a cheater , then they already know, if they don't it is too easy further to brand you as a liar or bitter kook. If they wanted to know your side they'd have asked.
Odds are they know but would be offended at you mentioning the elephant in the room
And yeah, I also agree that if they wanted to know my side, they would've asked.
I honestly do not think they know, though. I'm sure he went to great lengths to hide that from his family. I guess some part of me always will want them to be exposed.