The 180 works in very specific situations. I think it is best practiced when the CS is still in the fog, claims they are in love with the OP and is thinking about leaving the marriage. I think it is also successful for cake eaters or fence riders because it pushes them to one side or another.

Basically the 180 is a way to show your CS- "fine if that's what you want, then I am perfectly capable of moving on without you AND being happy about it." Of course you do this by taking care of yourself, getting out if you can and enjoying yourself and not getting upset or let them see that its bothering you.

I don't think the 180 is helpful to people who have committed themselves to R.

Hope that helps

sorry what does the "R" mean

Rebuilding the marriage

I used the 180 while deciding whether or not to leave my marriage and I did used a "180 lite" in the beginning of the rebuilding process. It's hard to describe but it was basically following the 180 but bending the rules to let my H have more emotional access to me.

I used the 180 while deciding whether or not to leave my marriage and I did used a "180 lite" in the beginning of the rebuilding process. It's hard to describe but it was basically following the 180 but bending the rules to let my H have more emotional access to me.

I used the 180 while deciding whether or not to leave my marriage and I did used a "180 lite" in the beginning of the rebuilding process. It's hard to describe but it was basically following the 180 but bending the rules to let my H have more emotional access to me.

Almost 5 months post DDay. H and I are separating but I am more hopeful now than ever over last 5 months about my ability to thrive whether we reconcile or ultimately divorce. Practiced 180 (to the imperfect best of my capabilities) as soon as I got over the initial shock (1-2 weeks post Dday). I know it has been key for me and pretty sure it helped pulled him out of his "fog".

Almost 5 months post DDay. H and I are separating but I am more hopeful now than ever over last 5 months about my ability to thrive whether we reconcile or ultimately divorce. Practiced 180 (to the imperfect best of my capabilities) as soon as I got over the initial shock (1-2 weeks post Dday). I know it has been key for me and pretty sure it helped pulled him out of his "fog".

For me not so much, sorry to say. I quit doing most everything that I had done prior to DD which was Oct..2010. H refused conversations, as before, refused marriage counceling, after the first week pretty much refused anything to do with the whole mess. So... I have since still continued to not be in a door mat, waiting at the door with a meal, the general nice things I put extra care into.

With that being said, I am ok. It depends on the strength of the marriage. One can't fix the problems for two people. It took a while over 6 months after DD before my H realized I was not backing down. A month after my DD i was still very much a wreck. It will take time for things to take on a different appearance. But if you are doing the 180 keep it up. Eventually you will gain strength for you to make clearer decisions for you.