I feel your pain! It's been a year past dday for me and I still have terrible ups and downs- somedays are worse then when I actually found out! Reality sets in that is why you are on the emotional rollercoaster. Hang in there and take a day at a time! There is no time limit for healing we all heal differently. Stay busy and do things you enjoy! I'm not really a religious person but my mom always told me that God never gives us more than we can handle (sometimes I do doubt that one...LOL). Stay strong!!!

there are stages in the grieving process. Yes grieving. You lost someone. You lost that person you used to know, but the physical person is still there and that pisses you off! It is a roller coaster for sure. I went through the highs and lows where I thought I was going to die from how high I could be to the bottom in a split second. I had the hysteria bonding where I just had all the sex in the world with him trying to keep him, to the no sex because I loathed him.

Hang in there. All I can say is that at some point it will get easier. You either move on with him or without him. I am 2 and a half years out. I still have some issues with it, but it is far from what was there last month and the day before that, etc... I know what I did was mostly wrong when I found out, but hell how do you know how to act?

Everyone is different. They say 3-5 years to get past this. And I believe that. God Bless!

You're stuck in a rut of your own making....been there too. Still am to some degree but I'm working on it and it's getting way better.. You have the power to stop thinking about it, but you have to choose to do so. It's hard, but try to cut off those thoughts when they try to creep into your head. You also have to decide if you truly want to be with him. If so, start making a plan on how you're going to achieve that. Focus on that. You are about at the same point I was when I started to try these things and they worked for me, but we all heal at different rates.

Hey girl-

Part of it is the impending year anniversary. In the summer of last year I felt great. Then the clock struck midnight on October 1st and I started getting a little wonky. My dray was November 19th so October 1st was almost 2 months away.

I thought I was going crazy because I thought I finally turned some magical corner. It wasn't long after that that I realized its two steps forward and sometimes three more back.

It takes a while for this to get to a point where its not occupying every thought. There are no set time tables but it does eventually get better.

I too am then months past dday. It is amazing that no matter how strong I am at times there are those moments that I function in slow motion as if I am part of a very bad dream. I wish often that he could feel the pain I feel during these times. I am not looking forward to 11/30. We are now divorced as I knew I could not live with a cheater who lived a secret life for four years. I ran to the divirce attorney. Despite the divorce it still stings. Good luck all

Definitely doing better now than 2 years ago. Both my wife and I work hard at it. I still think about it every single day (as does my wife), but not quite as bad as it was 2 years ago. Now it's only a few times a day. It used to invade my conscious and unconscious mind.
Thank you Cymbalta and Wellbutrin (and hard work).