Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
So this time last year my husband was having an affair with one of my best friends of over 30 years. It was fairly short lived and I found out at the beginning of May 2014. So I am now 1 year on and still totally confused about what I should do.
We decided to make things work and he says he will never do anything like that again. He says it was the worst mistake of his life and his biggest regret. He says he has only ever loved me and hopes that I will stay with him. I felt like I was doing good after an awful first 6-9 months. I couldn't funtion when I first found out and had to be put on anti-depressants to help with panic attacks. I felt my whole world had collapsed. Like many others on here I know we had massive problems in our marriage but I never believed he was capable of this. My friends that know have said the same.
So after getting our marriage into a better place and working on it together through counselling (which I was desperate to do when I first found out despite always saying I would not forgive that ) I find myself wondering if its all worth it and even possible. I am thinking more now about what happened than I did a few months ago. Shouldn't it keep getting easier? At the moment I dont feel the same desperation to be with him and I dont think I feel the love for him that I have and should.
I am so sick of crying and feeling sad. I now think if i had ended it when I found out I may now be closer to some happiness and peace. Am I coming to the conclusion that this marriage is not for me or am I still stuck in this minefield of pain that seems never ending?
I'm not even sure why I am on this site typing this but just needed to reach out to others that might understand as I'm feeling very isolated and alone right now.
We decided to make things work and he says he will never do anything like that again. He says it was the worst mistake of his life and his biggest regret. He says he has only ever loved me and hopes that I will stay with him. I felt like I was doing good after an awful first 6-9 months. I couldn't funtion when I first found out and had to be put on anti-depressants to help with panic attacks. I felt my whole world had collapsed. Like many others on here I know we had massive problems in our marriage but I never believed he was capable of this. My friends that know have said the same.
So after getting our marriage into a better place and working on it together through counselling (which I was desperate to do when I first found out despite always saying I would not forgive that ) I find myself wondering if its all worth it and even possible. I am thinking more now about what happened than I did a few months ago. Shouldn't it keep getting easier? At the moment I dont feel the same desperation to be with him and I dont think I feel the love for him that I have and should.
I am so sick of crying and feeling sad. I now think if i had ended it when I found out I may now be closer to some happiness and peace. Am I coming to the conclusion that this marriage is not for me or am I still stuck in this minefield of pain that seems never ending?
I'm not even sure why I am on this site typing this but just needed to reach out to others that might understand as I'm feeling very isolated and alone right now.
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/rebuilding-marriage-after-infidelity
this is a page with people in various stages of rebuilding if your still looking to explore that path. If not, there are also plenty of those who chose divorce here and are in various stages of healing through that here on this board. You'll find rebuilders here too.
You may be able to forgive, but you will never forget. The pain and memories will get less over time.
Did you clear up all or most of the questions, and concerns you had about the affair? Where is this best friend of yours now, has she left your circle of friends? Is your husband completely devoted to rebuilding with you?
Can you pinpoint what may be some of the hurdles you're dealing with that are stopping you from emotionally reconnecting with your husband?
Wishing you well.