Marie's response is proof that she still does not get it. Fortunately, I have never encountered these type of people. I think it would make my journey more emotionally difficult if I knew there were people out there that felt this way. I feel like crying now just thinking about it.

Very hurtful and unfortunately there are a lot of people out there that feel this way. I have come across many 'maries' on the internet :( It makes me feel sorry for them of how miserable of a person they must be to have such hatred for others. Logically what she is saying doesnt make sense. If someone has diabetes, you dont say well that person was just meant to be sick and they dont deserve treatment. And news flash, most of us pay fertility costs out of pocket... makes me so angry!!!!

I commented back, here is what I said:

To Marie's comment and a couple others who made similar remarks about couples who are infertile and not being meant to have a child. Let me say this, Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system, male or female. If we are going to let nature dictate this disease then we should just let nature dictate all diseases and disorders, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, etc. I hope you are getting my point.

Society does not pay for infertile couples. Couples who are infertile pay for the ignorance in society regarding infertility. Get your facts straight before making such statements.

As far as the question about when is it too old to have a child? Ultimately, the doctors can do EVERYTHING they know of and if it is not meant to work it will not work.

As far as psychiatrists being involved with fertility treatment decisions: Unless every couple who is going to try and conceive has to consult with a psychiatrists there is no reason a couple using fertility treatments should have to.

Most couples are told about the medical risks by their doctor. If they are not, it is the doctors fault.

In many cases women are waiting until later in life to have a family not because they are selfish but because society has changed so much over recent decades that most homes require two incomes and both parents should be educated and able to work a good paying job should something happen to the other parent.

Children are miracles to all of us, at any age. I do not believe it is for any of us to judge when a couple should stop trying to have a family. I think if you are in your 60's it is a good idea to have a plan of who would care for your child should something happen to both parents. But that is a good plan to have in place at any age. If the children are raised in a loving home they will be okay.

What a hurtful, and disgusting person! I'm not sure that I will be able to resist replying to her! And to think, she probably has children and is raising them with such a nasty mentality!

I say ditto to #52 and 53 of those comments, I think 52 was Lioness816's comment. Marie was way out of line. She is obviously one of those women; we all seem to have at least on in the neighborhood, who are nosie, judgemental and always finding things to yell at her neighbors about. I have a couple of those types in my neighborhood. She needs to get a life.

And as for the girl who said she was 15 at the time she got with her 27 year old partner, I would call that statutory rape. Where were her parents at the time? As a couple they probably had all kinds of financial assistance. Talk about society paying for their choices; I can see why her 32 year old sister doesn't want to accept advice from her.

Pardon me but I think my fertility drugs are making me gossipy. Joke

Oh and ditto to your comment too Shannon.

I left them a comment too :)

This made me sad to think people out there think this of us that have fertility issues. I had my daughter at 21 and I was a single mom and made some bad choices, but I went to college got my degree and married my DH who is awesome. Going through adoption right now with my daughter and him but we have been TTC for two years now, who has the right to say that we should stop trying because we can't have it naturally. I have to live with my choices every day and question what is wrong with me now and certainly don't need to hear it from ignorant people like that!

That is completely disgusting... How ignorant... Wait to go leaving the comments, ladies :)

I love what was said in the 57 comment: "Infertility is not a sign that your body is not meant to conceivejust as cancer is not a sign that you are not meant to live, or terrible diabetes is not at sign that you are meant to lose your legs. However, ignorance IS a sign that you are meant to keep your thoughts to yourself." The part about ignorance made me laugh!

It really is sad that some people out there just do NOT understand what we go through when we are dealing with infertility! I just want to punch them in the face! I almost wish that everyone should experience infertility, just so everyone knows the pain and heartbreak that goes along with it. It's not easy! It definitely does not mean that we aren't meant to have kids either! That's just wrong to even say something like that! I'm grateful we have DS where we can talk about our problems with others who really DO understand! :)

Oh I was ticked off! Here's what I posted... I see that Lioness posted something similar.
I really hope that Marie (comment #40) reads this post. You clearly have no earthly idea what youre talking about. Are you actually suggesting that if an individual has a health concern they should just roll over & accept it? What about treating cancer, heart conditions, diabetes, poor eyesight or hearing? All of these things affect quality of life. Some of us are intelligent creatures that wish to better ourselves & achieve the life goals we have set for ourselves. There are medical advancements that have been discovered to assist people who struggle. Maybe natural selection is favoring these people. Their children will grow up knowing how much they were wanted & loved every second of every day. Loving & supportive environments have been proven to produce productive, well adjusted adults Im not saying that people who struggled make better parents but they do have a different appreciation for their kids. They worked damn hard for them! I hope you think about who you may be hurting before you post such ignorance in the future.

ShannonR thank you so much for posting this blog. I read that Marie and July said it made me so angry. I am not just angry for myself, I used to such a comments from stupid and ignorant people. But one of my friends found out that she has cancer when she got marriage ( about 2 months after their wedding). She never smoke, almost never drink and it a great and wonderful person. She can't have a child right now because she is fighting cancer. What about her? She will be probably able to have a child in her late 30's or early 40's. Dose it mean she shouldn't have a child because she got sick? I wish Marie's and July's of this world walk one day in our boots or in my friends for that matter. Why dose ignorant, stupid people have children?

My DS girls are AMAZING!! This is why I should never leave comments on any other blogs other than DS. I've always received so much support from you guys and even though I have my miracle by IVF, I still can not seem to leave this group! You guys are truly amazing and are so well deserving of being a mom one day. It hurts my heart that there are those "ignorant" ones in this world - maybe one day they can find some compassion in their hearts for what we have gone through - I appreciate everyones comments and post to that particular blog. Peace, love and much, much baby dust!

I had a co-worker who made similar comments to me during my
infertility treatments eg: God dose not want you top be a mother,
I dont see why people who can concieve naturally have to pay for those who cant. She has type 2 diabetes which she controls with insulin. My response to her was that she shouldnt take insulin because obviously God wanted her to have diabetes. I also asked her why should I pay for her diabetes treatments and meds, my body makes insulin its not my fault that yours dosent. I still dont think she got it but I felt better. By the way karma got her through her daughter who is now struggling with infertility

P.S. I am in no way trying to minimize the problems of diabetes
I was just trying to make a point to my co-worker.