Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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CinLauk 08/25/2007

I just got off the phone with my sister who is pregnant. She is mad at me because she says I am not happy for her because I said I may go to by mom's 60th birthday a little later so I dont have to hear all day about her being pregnant. She tells me that she doesnt understand why I am not happy for her because if I was pregnant she would be happy for me. I explained to her I feel upset that I may not be able to get pregnant and she tells me that my DH feels sorry for himself because he is sterile and that should not be everyone's fault. I tried to explain to her that the RE said I have issues to and that is why I am upset but it it is not like I am not happy for her. I tried to explain she may feel different if she struggled with getting pregnant. She told me then she would realize then that maybe she is not to have meant to have children. The worst of it all that really makes me angry is in college she had an abortion. She has been on prozac for the last 10 years and has many many issues and I dont even know how she will be able to handle being a mother. I am really angry right now. I feel like I should just cut my sister out of my life but I cant because its my sister and I will see her everyday at work. Please help I am very upset.

deleted_user 08/25/2007

Wow. You're in an awful situation. I have had to deal with watching my sister and my sister-in-law each getting pregnant twice. My husband can't have children and IUI hasn't worked for us yet. I heard it through the grapevine that my sister wants to start trying for another baby.

When I hear news of people getting pregnant, its hard. It's not like I'm not happy for them because I am. I just get sad, jealous and frustrated because its a reminder of what my husband and I haven't been able to acheive.

If I were you, I'd try and work it out. My sister has been awesome with my fertility issues and she's aware of how her pregnancy can affect me.

Maybe try to reinforce that you are really happy for your sister. State how happy you are to have a new neice or nephew.

Then try and explain the emotional stress of dealing with fertility problems and how that effects you and how you need her to support you. She's your sister and she will probably be one of the first people you tell when the treatment works and you get pregnant.

Hopefully, she'll start to understand the difficulties you face and she'll become a little more sensitive.

Good Luck!

deleted_user 08/25/2007

I have a cousin, 18 years old, I found out two weeks ago that he got his gf pregnant. For some reason, I felt so down after I learned it. They are young and will not get married, at least not yet. I even cried when I got home. I understand why you do not want to hear all about her pregnancy. It is really hard for us to deal with this. I believe she should be understanding of you. I hope your other relatives and your mom will understand why you will not come the same time as her. This may not really be helpful, just letting you know you are not alone in this.

CinLauk 08/25/2007

Thanks for everyone's help things are even worse for me in this situation. My sister has the nerve to tell me maybe its not in gods will. Her and I both work at a abuse and neglect hotline for children in the state of New Jersey. The stories I here each day could bring anyone to tears so if its just gods will then why would people that harm children get to have so many. UGH I am really aggravated

deleted_user 08/25/2007

at first i thought you could tell your family and they would back off. Instead your sister seems like what my DH refers to as a primadonna. He says my sister is one. and it isnt just one thing, it is the all about me issue, the 'ugh'its too stressful. My DS and DH are snobs and cant handle anything and i cringe at the thought of their parenting too.

I would stop telling her stuff and consider working somewhere else. I cant believe you work for DYFS. No offense. I have negativity for tem.

deleted_user 08/25/2007

oh you work 4 a hotline. never mind about the dyfs... oops...

deleted_user 08/25/2007

Wow that sucks. Most people would haven't experienced infertility just don't get it. I think you did the right thing by explaining your feelings to your sister. Your sister is being selfish and not taking your feeling into consideration. You have wished her congratulations and explained your feelings. You don't owe her anything else.

deleted_user 08/25/2007

Family can be the worst can't they everyone is insensitive until it happens to them. I feel the way u do my sister law found out she was preg and told my hubs it was a secret. She don't know that i know and she hasn't called me or nothing.

deleted_user 08/25/2007

I work in social services also and often come into contact with people who should not be parents. God is not punishing you or crackheads wouldn't get pg. I believe that everyone has different trials, and this is ours. Hang in there

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