I have a sil that is expecting any day now. The whole family is consumed by this. She is younger than me and it will be the first grandchild. I always thought that I would be first because I am the oldest. I find that it is hard for my family to understand what I am going through. One of the things that I have found that helps my family understand what I am going through is to tell them that my infertility is just like a death. I had to through all of the same grieving stages as a death before finally coming to acceptance. I would tell them to imagine that their best friend just lost a child and then ask them what they would say to that person and how would they treat that person. I would then explain to them that I have also been through a loss and that that is the way that I would like to be treated and talked to. I know that this is for some people a difficult association but for me and my family it helps them to understand what I am going through.
Anyway to get to the point. I went to the doc yesterday and he told me that he preferred that I have a hysterectomy. I have two cysts that are causing me pain and pressure. One cyst is the size of a baseball and is located behind my uterus and the other is the size of a golf ball and is on my left ovary. The cysts have been there for two years. I initially put off the surgery because the only way to remove them was to have a hysterectomy. Now with the davinci robot they can be removed without having to have a hysterectomy. The only problem is that my doc says that there would be a likelihood of them coming back and me having to have surgery again. I dont want to have a hysterectomy for two reasons. Number one I worry about the added risks such as bleeding, infection, recovery, long term complications, and early menopause. Number two is because even-though I have told everyone that I have accepted infertility, deep down I feel that a hysterectomy would be the end all be all for everything. Therefore after long discussion with my husband and family we believe that it would be beneficial to only have the cysts removed and no hysterectomy. If I need surgery in the future then that is a bridge I will cross at that point.

I need some advise on this as I hope I am doing the right thing.