No, you are not wrong to feel hurt. I am guessing that since you are the older sister, she probably isn't used to the role of supporting you, you probably have helped her more over the course of your lives. Its tough sometimes for us to handle role reversals, and she may even be scared that she will go through the same thing, so her reaction may be just to run from the situation.
I think sometimes people just don't know what to say, and are afraid of saying the wrong thing so they don't reach out.
Sometimes, for me, not hearing anything is better than hearing that "maybe its just not God's plan, like maybe you would die in child birth, so that is why you can't get pregnant" What?!!?
or "all of my thin friends had trouble getting pregnant, but those of us that have a little more meat on our bones had no trouble at all" What?!!? So its my fault because I used to be thin?!
My sister made the first comment, and my sister in law made the second comment.
I'm sorry that your sister is not being supportive. Just know that there are ladies on here that are going through it with you and we are here for you!

Thanks Heather. It's so hard to believe that your own family would be so unsupportive and insensitive. But yes you are right, you ladies have been great, so thank you!

This is one of those life lessons that is a hard pill to swallow - not everyone is capable of being supportive, empathetic, etc. It's not you, it's her. Whether it is the whole younger sister / older sister dynamic like heatherttc said, or it is just simply how your sister is wired.

I can relate. My SIL had fertility issues at the same time as us, so you'd think it would make us grow closer together. Quite the opposite. It turned into a competition for her as to who had IF worse. It was a competition I wanted no part of. So I'm back to not talking about my IF to anyone.

The very few other people I've opened up to in the past (A couple close family members and my best friend) have had a wide range of reactions, but all ended up at the point where now they out-right ignore me. And not just refuse to talk about IF, but literally don't talk to me at all. It is really hard because I rarely discussed IF to begin with (honestly it was once every few months at the most when I was having a REALLY hard day), so I feel like they really have no reason to feel weird about it and there is absolutely no reason to just strait up ignore me. IF is a very lonely road and I think if it wasn't for this forum, I would feel as if I were the only one in the world going through it.

Just wanted you to know you're not alone either! ((HUGS))

Moonbeams, thank you for your post. It's really good to know that I'm not the only one with this issue. I guess everyone is just different; makes me want to stop caring as well.

Ugh...every one in my family....my mother is the biggest disappointment. my younger sibling is a boy and he cares and he asks me whats going on from time to time, but he has his own issues.

My mother on the other hand..completely emotionless, on everything. I don't know why I would think that she would play the active role of mother for me but it was 2 years of being let down. After my 3rd MC, she told me i was jealous of my siblings gf because she was pregnant...no the girl is just no good (later found shes a heroin addict....points for me for being right!)

Some people are distant because they dont know what to say, others because they can see beyond themselves, or don't want to. Let her go. You have so much going on, focus on you not where she is. Try confiding in a friend.

It's been one year since my husband and I found out it would be highly unlikely that we would be able to conceive on our own. I am a Hispanic-Canadian and it never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to have children easily. Especially because even with a university degree and a career I worked so hard for, deep down inside Spanish girls really just want to be mommy's. Yes, the stereotype is in fact true.

The first person we told was my younger sister who was living with my husband and I at the time. She tried her best, but she like someone else described has never been in the support role; it's always me and my older sister. Hence, she was living with me (we were helping her get on her feet). I then told my parents, who were extremely supportive and called regularly (we lived 5 hrs away from each other) to see how we were doing. Mainly trying to make sure I didn't become depressed.

My sister had sent me a link " Tips to getting pregnant" like healthy eating, laying with legs up after intercourse; those kind of things. All things that didn't matter when my husband had a sperm count of literally '4', not 4 million, thousand or hundred, just 4 in a sample. Another time when i made a suggestion to my brother about why his son (his 2nd child who was unplanned) might be exhibiting certain behaviours he said "oh eff off, when you have kids, then you can tell me." After a few insensitive moments like that I told them as well. And they have all been extremely supportive since then. As far as in-laws, they've been okay. My MIL offered us money lol which we kindly declined, I secretly think she feels at fault for not noticing a hernia and an undescended testicle when he was a baby which are the likely cause for my husband's infertility. Surprisingly my BIL, has been quite supportive. He's younger than my husband and became a teen dad but often asks us how we're doing and how far along we are with the IVF process and adoption.

I would say, you will have a hard time finding support from people who have not been in a supportive role for you in the past. Like my sister and yours, it's not easy for them to step up into the role and you may never receive the support you're looking for. MAY is the key word. Hopefully they will but if she doesn't that doesn't mean your sisterhood is over, she just may not be there for you for that part of your life. Hopefully you can find someone else who can take on that role. I truly recommend that you speak to someone, whether it's another close relative or even a professional. However, I would caution you about telling everyone. Honestly, it seems infertility is still taboo to talk about and you might alienate yourself from others because a lot of people will just simply not know what to say.

Let me also say that reading and writing in a support group like this has been very useful, you KNOW you're not alone. We feel you.

Take care

It always surprises me when I get disappointed by people I trust to be there for me, so I can totally understand why you would be hurt by your sister's (in)actions. When that happens, I try to remember that I am not perfect either, and I have probably let them down, too, even though I would never want to hurt them.
Maybe keep a journal of what you're feeling and talking about it with her when she is in a receptive mood to hear it will help you work through your emotions and make her understand how to deal with you better in the future.