I am so sorry for your loss. We tried for 13 months and lost ours at 12 weeks. I am in the same boat as you, I don't know whether our BFP was a blessing or not. It seems to me it's harder now, with each month that passes and AF shows up. Why did I have to have that glimmer of hope? What's going to happen now? Yes we can get pregnant but can we maintain it? Was this a fluke and we'll have better luck in the future?

I realize I haven't tried nearly as long as you, I in no way compare my situation to yours. I also won't be doing any IUI since we can't afford it, but know that we are trying again, along with you.

But if it's any help at all - I used to work with a guy who was married to a women with some IF issues, I believe she had PCOS and maybe endo. Well they tried for years and years. I know they had at least one miscarriage after trying for about 8-10 years. She tried a few more times after the miscarriage and then told her doc she was done, he asked for one more time. Her little girl will be 1 in June. It's possible, I know it seems like it's not and that hope is just another cruel emotion we have playing with us.

Like I said, I won't be able to be a cycle buddy, but I'm here if you need anything else.

thank you so much for your kind words... and im very sorry for your loss as well. I would def love to have someone to talk to that knows what im going through, all my friends have kids when they plan for them and its so hard to see when they dont understand y its taking us so long. its just a waiting game with us now...

I am so sorry for you loss. I know exactly how you feel me and DH has tried for 13yrs we found out in September that we had conceived only to have it end after 8 weeks. I am exactly like you I dont know whether to take it as blessing that I now know that it CAN happen or to be sad cause it was right there and now its gone and nothing I can do about it. I have decided to take some time off and try to lose some weight and just enjoy this summer and enjoy my hubby. But I am here if you need someone to talk to. Best of luck to you.

yeah I know the pain, anger, frustration of watching women around you get something they've never had to try for, never worked for, stressed for. I just found out that my best friend got pregnant the same week we lost ours. She decided not to tell me until she was over halfway done with her pregnancy cuz she didn't want to risk telling ppl before she was "sure" she was safe. She also only had to try once. She's due on my husbands birthday. I literally sit on the couch and am sickened, sick to my stomach to know that there are us out there, that not only deal with IF but then miscarriage. Why do have to suffer from both?

When I can, I try to have hope and optimism. I try to believe that I too will be blessed with my rainbow baby. And that when my blessing is delivered, I will be so much more appreciative and blessed because of all the hardships I had to endure to get there.

I have been married for 18 yrs. We didn't try right away because we were dealing with family crises. But we have been trying for the last six years. We first tried on our own. We tried everything. We used ovulation kits, basal thermometers, other pregnancy kits etc. We then did three iui's and four ivfs. I got my first BFP in Nov. and miscarried last month at 5 months pregnant. The miscarriage was heartbreaking but it was a beautiful thing to be pregnant and I actually went through labor to miscarry. Bittersweet. Long story short, we're going to try again in three months and do a FET. No risk no reward. I'd be happy to keep in touch and support each other.

I would love to keep in touch with all of you if possible..I feel bad saying its nice to have ppl in the same boat because of the losses that bought us here.. I would def like to have some ppl to talk with when i start this new cycle.. we cant afford ivf cycles at this time so we have been doing the iuis this was the first cycle with metformin, clomid and trigger shot and back to back iuis... its been so hard to handle this some days I just feel like maybe we're not meant to be parents then I got that glimmer of hope and it was taken away its hard not to be angry....

Again, sorry for your loss. I miscarried at 5 months pregnant and it hurts a lot because I was halfway through the pregnancy. I was almost there...so close to having a live baby. But we will carry on. That is the name of a miscarriage group in my city..."We Will Carry On." We will carry on, and do the best we can, with what we're given. Hugs.

ty you i wish i had some support here in the states its been a tough road and im so glad i finally found this site to have some real friends who know what im really going through

I understand the anger and confusion all too well. I have a hard time dealing with it. I've always had a hard time letting my anger go and this has been 100 times worse.

I also am confused with what I should do. I tend to be religious and have faith in God and what he wants in my life. I thought if he wanted me to be pregnant then we would. But it took us a while and I thought maybe that's not what He wanted and then we got our BFP and then to lose it. I'm just so confused now, do I push this issue if it's something He's not blessing? But how could he not want us to have kids. I don't know.

And yes in a sick way I am happy to see all the ppl here - I needed to know I wasn't alone in this journey. I've lost contact with friends and family over this, I need someone, something. So like I've told others, "Welcome to the group that no one wants to have to belong to".

I too am religious I had the same thoughts you just expressed and im so confused as to what his plan is.. its just hard because my husband and i were faithful and waited till marriage for even our first kiss and now we have struggles with having kids I just dont know what we did wrong...

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. I am currently starting my 3rd IUI cycle and I'd be happy to be your cycle buddy :) We can get through this together. Everyone on DS is such an inspiration. Coming across this site has helped me tremendously

vmarie3 thank u so much for your kind words I would love to be your cycle buddy.. i have my baseline on wend hoping to try again

Good luck on Wednesday!!

thanks they actually moved it up to tomorrow

I'm sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to be so close yet so far. Just try to focus on the positive the fact that you can get pregnant is amazing. I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2010 though it was a loss, it keeps me going knowing I was able to become pregnant :)

I had my first IUI on the 31st and will be finding out this week if it was successful. If its not, I can be your IUI buddy.