You have written exactly how I feel today. I cried at a comedy show last night because the comdeian shared how awesome/funny/miserable it was to be a new parent at 40. I stopped laughing.
I'm tired of hosting baby showers because my house is clean and perfect. I'm tired of going "oh my gosh" at anything a friend's baby does. And especially tired of, I can "do what I want" because I don't have child. They compalin they are tired, and the kid dries them nuts...let them not have it for one day and they would go crazy. I have time to clean so I do, I would much rather my house be a mess with kid stuff than perfect, I would love to have a schedule of sports games, lessons and homework projects. I hate not being able to complain becasue no one around me knows how to respond. I hate how over it my husband is and I feel like we are in two seperate lives.
You said it perfectly, I am tired.

SAME, ladies. Same.

I don't go on social media anymore if I can avoid it. I hate our big stupid house with two empty bedrooms that are supposed to be for our children. I no longer have the strength to hide how I feel. I spent a good portion of my lunch last Friday crying at work. I'm tired of dealing with the doctors, the insurance company, the billing departments, making sure as much of this as possible is covered by my insurance. Why is infertility treatment seen as less important than treatment of other conditions? Acupuncture is covered on my health insurance, but not infertility treatment. That is such BS.

I'm tired of hoping. I always just end up disappointed anyway.

Hi. I think every person on this board knows exactly what you are saying. Your words resonated so much with my that my eyes filled with tears. It sucks. There are no two ways about it. And you don't get it unless you have been through it. You don't get the soaring hoping and the plummets of disappointment. You don't get the not letting your heart get ahead of itself and picture the life you will have. You don't understand that pain unless you have lived it.

Here's the thing though, the only guaranteed way to ensure you will never have that bundle of joy, is to give up. While I understand that not everyone gets a happy ending and sometimes you need to know when to throw in the towel, that's very different and individual for each couple. It's something you and your husband can decide together. So, the only thing I can say is, you got ask yourself, do you have the will and strength to keep going? or do you like you're feel done?

In the meantime, (get ready to eye roll at my "easier said than done" advice) try your best NOT to let your mind go there....try to take it one day at a time and not get ahead of yourself. Each day after the transfer I focus on drinking water, staying calm, reading, listening to music, try to be at peace. And at the end of the day, I say "today was a good day". That's it, nothing more. I have vowed to myself never to calculate when the baby will come with each transfer. I make it a point not to know....in fact, if I accidentally get a hint of it, I just push it right out of my mind. That's torture. Don't taunt yourself in an already stressful situation.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck. May God give you the baby you are so desperate to have. And God willing, maybe you will be on the other side, doing what you can to help out others at their low point.

Incidentally, my journey was pretty miserable and intense. Landed me in the hospital twice with severe infections, and in ICU once with the need for an emergency surgery after an egg retrieval gave me septic shock....with my RE standing over me telling me I will never have a baby and I need to move on. It was a very long road but I have a 20 month old little guy that was worth every tear, every heartbreak, every let down, every piece of bad news along the way.

I wish you all the best. God bless you.

It's nice to not feel alone when reading this and the comments. I can cry knowing you all are crying with me. It feels good to not cry alone, not to be angry alone, not to be irritated about successful mothers who only complain about taking care of their children. I know you all feel the same way or at least some of you. So thank you.

Totally agree with all of you. Someone might have to already said this, but is anyone else tired of the stupid questions "do you have kids?" How many times can we answer the same way without breaking down in front of a stranger? How many times do we have to let someone off the hook "b/c they didn't know, they meant well, they are just plan inconsiderate and stupid". Is anyone else tired of the looks you get when you're holding someone else's baby? You know what everyone is thinking - they pity. There comes a point in life where you get tired of staying up late and drinking "b/c you can b/c you don't have kids" . I wish people who haven't/aren't going thru this took the time to understand 1/4 of what we feel like sometimes.
Sending you all strength and love...

Sorry i forgot one important thing - is anyone else tired of the guilt? the guilt of not being able to give your husband\partner a child? the guilt of feeling like your body can't do this major thing right? In my case i'm pretty much the only chance of giving my parents grandchildren, while all of their friends are grandparents. Good thing everytime i talk to my mom she doesn't skip a chance to tell me about so and so who had a baby or is expecting. Regardless if they are 10 years younger than me and just married. Guilt? How could there be guilt?

(Also you dont' know me, but that was major sarcasm in case you weren't sure.)

I'm tired of how when after I explain I can't without ivf everyone always says,,, "well, you know .. my friends aunts cousins daughter heard they couldn't and guess what they have three!" I wish I could let loose and say I don't have working parts!!! My tubes don't work!!! I can not have children without IVF!!! There is no way. My body is deformed! I try not to bring it up ever but if and when I do, it's always the same response. I HATE it!

I could not have said it any better myself. That seems to be my go to word now "tired". I am so tired of the disappointment, heartbreak and pain. Every word you said in this post, I have said so many times. How do you get over this feeling ya know? It completely drains you and makes you so empty and dead sometimes. I put on a front 90% of the time and I'm tired of doing that as well. I'm just glad we're not alone in this journey and there are others who can honestly say "I know how you feel."

I love all of you awesome ladies! Thanks for the support and strength. Xoxo

Everything you just wrote is exactly how I feel at this moment! I just found out today that my second time getting a positive turned into a chemical pregnancy. I just feel like giving up at this point! It's so difficult to feel like this but we have to try to keep the hope & never give up on the dream to be a mother!

I felt this just two days back exactly, just drained tired , why me ? I have unexplained fertility and it's sometimes torture not knowing the problem and my 1FET failed I already had I fresh failure as well. I have read so many blogs and gone crazy. It's been two days and my grief is not over yet but I can tell you one thing I feel better than the last 2 days. Your brain is amazing how fast sometimes it heals , been reading lot of positive quotes because that's the only way right? I plan to start reading the secret although I feel why I should when it didn't work but maybe I'll atleast feel better . You will.heal and you will get the strength back to try again , baby dust to you !

I just stumbled upon this post, read through the original post and your supportive responses. You guys are all amazing...I'm struggling with the "tired" of everything as well...tired of hearing yet again someone in my family or circle of friends is pregnant after 2 months trying or the one that was on the pill and "oops" I'm pregnant! Anyway, I think going through this experience has taught me, more than anything, resilience. We, collectively, women (and men) going through this journey of unknown are the most resilient people I have ever met. Sending love and prayers to all of you and thank you for sharing your feelings...it really helped me today as I wait for yet another cycle to begin and hopefully, after 2.5 years, if we are cleared, start with our first round of IUI next week.

Your post is spot on. I'm exhausted, and I feel I have barely touched the surface of this journey. Being able to talk with you all here is the one thing I have been missing though.

I had a tired breakdown at the start of this cycle. I sobbed for a too many hours, drank a margarita, deleted everyone from my Facebook and joined this group. The thing about this journey is that it truly is exhausting and tiring but there's no way I can give up on this dream of motherhood. Like walking through the desert and you don't know if you will find water but you know you need it so there's no way you can just sit and hope it rains. Instead you walk and walk and hopefully you find it.

I truly needed this post today!!! Bless you all. I had tears and laughter after reading these. I felt tired today as well. I asked, is it the hormones I am taking, or should I just quit this motherhood journey? Nope. I know I will become a mama and I want it so badly. This is only going to make me stronger. Now, time to delete my facebook account and have a glass of alcohol free wine!