Sound's like your husband's cousin has some issues of her own to make that comment! I have gotten countless stupid pieces of advice, including to relax, go on vacation and even have DH sing the National Anthem while he finishes (not joking). Unless someone persists to the point that I really have to tell them that they have no idea what they're talking about, I usually follow the stupid one liners with, "if only it were that simple." this way, unless they're completely brain dead, they know it hasn't been easy for us and we've probably tried their stupid advice. Try not to let it get you down- we have enough crap to worry about!:)

It gets so tiring hearing all of the stupid advice from people who have not experienced infertility... they just have no clue! The "just relax" advice is the worst because that's what people always says, and it used to make me feel so bad about myself, like I was doing something wrong! If it was just that easy, I'd have been pregnant over 2 years ago!

One thing that helped me was when I went to see the psychologist at my fertility clinic after our failed IVF... I was telling her about these stupid, insensitive comments and how angry and upset they made me.... and she said try to replace those comments in your head with something else you would really want to hear like "I love you and I'm hear for you", she said that most people just have no idea what to say. She said it's like when someone you love dies, people just don't know what to say. So, she said that when they make these comments they really mean that they care about you, but it's the only thing they can think of to say especially since they haven't experienced infertility.

I can totally understand why that got to you! It's still good to vent about these things!

I usually refer to my diagnosis or experience when people tell me to "just relax". I'll say, "Yeah, relaxing will completely take care of that genetic clotting disorder I have" or "Sure, that will open up my blocked tube on the side where my dominant ovary is" or "You're right, paying a bunch of money and practically living at the doctor's office is like lying on the beach. You should try it sometime." That shuts them up every time.

Kimm2887, Those are great... I'll have to use them. IF is so challenging wish it was as easy as everyone thinks. Good luck ladies!

I agree. Some people can be awful with their comments. DH and I made a pact to tell no one, but people still make rude comments "no kids? why not? When ru going to? You'd better hurry.... " This society is so fixed on breeding! I feel like saying to them "we are not an MTV reality show where we can get pregnant just by crossing the street!"

Totaly agree with everyone. I m so sick of people and their dumb comments.I have hormone and reproductive probelms u think I can just relax them away. I feel like telling someone next time they have an illness why don t u relax it away.Just relax is the worst. And you ll get over it or you ll learn to accept your life the way it is. Let me see if u dreamed your life a certain way how would u feel if it didnt go according to plan. Its so easy for these people to pass comments cause they have their babies.Hang in there were all here for u. Good luck!!:)

I had a hairdresser, who I just met, tell me that if i laid on the bed with a pillow under my hips after intercouse it would help the sperm travel better . .. . . . . . . . . . . Beyond this, she had pushed me into the conversation to begin with and couldn't see that I was on the verge of tears b/c I was so uncomfortable.

One of my co-workers told me about the pillow thing, too. My question is, if that's what you did and you swear by that to get pregnant, then how are you going to tell me not to think about it and just relax? That's not what YOU did!