I’m new to speaking out about my condition. About 13 years ago, when I was 16, I was diagnosed with POF (premature ovarian failure). My parents were told that I would never be able to have a child of my own but I would be able to carry. When I was 21 and dating my husband, I decided to have my eggs frozen. I didn’t fully understand or even know that I didn’t have any eggs. After several doctors, I learned I had no eggs to freeze and would have to use an egg donor. Back then, I decided that I didn’t want to go through all that pain so I decided not to have any children. A little over a year ago my husband and I decided to use an egg donor to start a family. We felt incomplete without any children. So far, we have had 4 donors fail and the most resent one failed three weeks before we were going to complete the transfer. That same day my husband found out that his younger sister was pregnant with her second child out of wedlock with a different father than her first child. I have not been handling the situation well. My mother in law and sister in law think I have a problem with her. They do not understand that it’s about being pregnant that bothers me. That she is and I’m not. That she got pregnant so easily for the second time and my donors keep failing. I feel defeated. I’m devastated for me. I don’t know what to do anymore. My heart is broken, I can’t be around my sister in law because seeing her pregnant breaks me. I don’t know how to get over it, I don’t know how to face her let alone be the same room as her. I don’t know what to do. No one understands. They don’t understand what this feels likes. How can I cope with this and be around her? Or is their a way to make them understand and to back off me a little? I try to tell my mother in law that it is not personal and not about my sister in law but they think it is. Has anyone been through this?