Hi everyone, this is my first time posting, so please bear with the long post. 

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for years (we have been married for over 7 years).  Finally, last January, after no success, we went and saw an IVF specialist and found out we both have issues which means we cannot conceive naturally.  My husband has no vas deferens (we found out he is a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis…shocking as there is no history of it in his family), and my eggs are of such low quality and quantity that they are the same as a woman who is 12-15 years older than I am.  We were both 33 when we started testing, and we are about to turn 35.  Our first IVF cycle (March) was my husband having a TESE (they cut open his balls and removed the sperm, which we then found out is high quality, so that’s good), and then me having an egg retrieval.  They removed 3 eggs, and none of them turned into embryos.  Our second IVF cycle was right away (April), as we decided one time was not enough of an attempt.  They removed 6 eggs, and 1 turned into a okay-not-good embryo that was transferred.  It did not implant.  2 weeks later I ended up in the ER having emergency abdominal surgery that was caused by an infection (no clear cause as to what caused it) and resulted in the removal of my appendix, left ovary, left fallopian tube, part of the umendem (the muscle that covers your abdominal cavity), an abscess behind my uterus, and a massive antibacterial cleanse of my entire abdominal cavity.  I was in the hospital for 8 days, and told no more attempts for 6 months.  We also decided that there was no more point in trying to use my eggs, as they were of such low quality it wasn’t worth the money for the 2% chance we were getting, so it didn't really matter that they had to remove an ovary.  My third IVF cycle was in November.  We used adopted embryos.  They implanted 2, and 1 week before Christmas we found out I was not pregnant.  It made for a rough Christmas, surrounded by our nieces and nephews, the holiday cards announcing friends pregnancies, and the updates of the soon-to-be births from friends and family.  I also still deal with the random comments from people I don’t know or I don’t know well about “do I have kids” or “when will I have kids” etc.  We (the doctor, my husband, and I) could not come up with any reason why the excellent embryos did not implant, so we decided to try again.  My 4^th IVF cycle started immediately, they transferred 2 excellent embryos this past Saturday, and now I’m waiting for next Wednesday when I go for my blood test.  This is excruciatingly stressful.  I’m taking my estrogen, progesterone, and prenatal vitamins every day, but I don’t feel any different, and I know that stress is not good, so I keep telling myself not to stress and not to worry and this time it will work, but it’s hard convincing my mind to believe what my mouth is saying.  There is no one to really talk to, as no one in my family or my husbands family has ever had IVF issues.  My husbands brother and sister both have children with their spouses, my brother has children with his spouse, and my sister isn’t married.  Our families are supportive and are praying for us and wishing they could do something, but I can’t stand someone else asking what they can do.  There isn’t anything, unless they have thousands of dollars they want to give us to help pay for it, however I don’t know if my emotions can handle any more attempts if this one doesn’t work.  My husband wants children as badly as I do, and he feels guilty that he waited so long to get tested, as if he had gone earlier we would have known immediately that this was the path we had to do, but there was no reason for him to have gone earlier.  There was no reason that either one of us would have known that there was a problem from the beginning. 

I know there is nothing to do but wait, but I need help finding hope.