Amen. I think you perfectly described my state of mind at least half the time as well. I also try to focus on the strength to move forward regardless of what happens as well. It's so hard, and I'm sorry this week was made harder for you by an untimely pregnancy announcement. Sending strength and hugs and clarity of mind your way.

I think you just repeated the prayer I said to myself every month for over a year. Letting go and just accepting is so challenging when having a baby is all you want. I don't know why some women/men/couples/families are so challenged by this. Having/adopting a baby is the most beautiful thing and it takes away volumes from the experience when it's surrounded by this yearning and depression. Good for you for realizing that your prayer needs to change. My hardest struggle was depression and anger at everyone who did get pregnant and then guilt for feeling that way. I would be so hard on myself from every angle (being ashamed for not conceiving, being ashamed for being envious of others, being ashamed for being so depressed) that I was miserable all the time. Once I started to ask the higher powers to help me accept and let go I started feeling the negative emotions in me go to.

Thank you ladies for the support. I come here so I know that there are other people like me who understand what it feels like to not be able to get pregnant. I am THE ONLY person I know who is going thru this. All my friends and family have babies, no one struggled. I feel like a freak sometimes. My husband has 4 sisters, and they have 11 children between them. I love them all. I just wish I could give my husband a baby so he doesn't feel "left out". All eyes are on us because he is the only boy and his mom wants to see her baby boy have a baby. WOW...no pressure there right!! They have no idea what we are going thru, we don't tell them. We say "someday soon we will"...and leave it at that. It just sucks!

Just joined tonight. Add me fo the list. I’m 39 and feel the same as everyone here. Been trying for 6 years. Two failed IVFs with poor embryo quality and so far 5 failed IUIs. Just started my 6th yesterday. I also never thought I’d be in this situation. Like a lot of women I studied and got my degree, then got married at 33 and started trying for a year. Then got diagnosed with the I word: Infertility. My DH was diagnosed with Low Sperm count at the age of 35. Mind you we had both gotten pregnant in our mid 20s with different partners and both resulted in termination. So we felt like hey we are definitely fertile. Nope. The doc wanted to know why at such a young age did he have a low count. We were sent to a fertility urologist. Came to find out he had large varicoceles. We had some marital issues for two years where we stopped trying. Then he had surgery to repair the varicocele at the age of 39. We were told he’d hopefully produce healthy sperm and his numbers would increase about 6-12 months post surgery. Plus they put him on Special Sperm Vitamins. Luckily things have improved, but I’ve also gotten older. Still no baby. We all have a story. Hang in there. You just never know. My friend had 16 IUIs and got pregnant. Then got pregnant by accident a year later. Keep going!!!! Explore all options. Even acupuncture. I’ve heard and seen amazing results. I’m also reading the book It Starts with the Egg. Eye opening. I’ve even been told about the anti-inflammatory diet which is basically paleo which helps increase fertility. Good luck!!!!