Infertility Support Group
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ok, so I am going to go out on a line here as there has been some drama lately-I have not really understood it-how it began, where it went, who said what etc. but I want to share some things that I have learned from another area in my life-a 12 step program. For those of you who dont know 12 step programs have helped millions of people with various addictions from alcoholism to eating disorders etc. When they were formed they had alot of drama- different opinions, clashing of members so they formed the 12 traditions. I am not going to post them there but anyone who wants too can look it up and read what they say.
The biggest thing in 12 step ( and yes, I UNDERSTAND that this is not 12 step) is that we cannot keep what we have received except by giving it away and that our primary purpose after helping ourself is to carry the message and help the new people who are suffering. So- this leads to my point. Regardless of who is right or wrong and I honestly have not followed this closely I believe that we must remember that new member are joining EVERY DAY. They are as we were. Scared, alone and afraid not knowing where to turn. I was feeling almost suicidal about IF when I found DS and it changed me and my life. If I had been exposed to all of this controversy I may not have stayed. So, I believe ( notice I said I) that we must remember that new frightened alone woman who has just joined. Yes, we can engage in discussion and have opinions but do any of us want to be responsible for maybe scaring off one of our fellow IF sisters inadvertently?
I am saying this with all the love in my heart. I cry at times when I tell my loved ones what you women on DS have done for me. You pulled me out of the dark well and you have kept me out of it. So, I want us all to keep what we have received here and to be the beautiful examples for the "newcomers" that we all are.
I really hope that this does not offend anyone and if it does, I apologize but I really hope that you will all understand my intentions were honest. When people upset me my teacher tells me to always look to their intentions. (not always easy I know)
Bless you all as always
The biggest thing in 12 step ( and yes, I UNDERSTAND that this is not 12 step) is that we cannot keep what we have received except by giving it away and that our primary purpose after helping ourself is to carry the message and help the new people who are suffering. So- this leads to my point. Regardless of who is right or wrong and I honestly have not followed this closely I believe that we must remember that new member are joining EVERY DAY. They are as we were. Scared, alone and afraid not knowing where to turn. I was feeling almost suicidal about IF when I found DS and it changed me and my life. If I had been exposed to all of this controversy I may not have stayed. So, I believe ( notice I said I) that we must remember that new frightened alone woman who has just joined. Yes, we can engage in discussion and have opinions but do any of us want to be responsible for maybe scaring off one of our fellow IF sisters inadvertently?
I am saying this with all the love in my heart. I cry at times when I tell my loved ones what you women on DS have done for me. You pulled me out of the dark well and you have kept me out of it. So, I want us all to keep what we have received here and to be the beautiful examples for the "newcomers" that we all are.
I really hope that this does not offend anyone and if it does, I apologize but I really hope that you will all understand my intentions were honest. When people upset me my teacher tells me to always look to their intentions. (not always easy I know)
Bless you all as always
I also cannot believe how wonderful this site is. I have made so many wonderful friends on here. I shed tears of sorrow for those of our sisters who have had BFN's and am so happy and excitied for those who get their BFP.
And in between we help support, guide, hug and really just come together on a day to day bases to help each other make some sense of this crazy journey called IF.
I've been feeling a bit frustrated myself and when I took a closer look, I came to the conclusion that I believe that sometimes we may think that because we are brought here by IF ... that ALL of our thoughts, feelings, morals, ethics, beliefs, opinions, and backgrounds may be similar as well..and that's SO not true.
I can't predict how someone will react to something I say, but it's my responsibility and my goal to have the best intentions behind it.
In addition, if someone makes a statement the MAY offend someone else..why should that ruin someone's experience here?
This site should be a microcosim for what the real world is like-people have opinions based on their personal experiences and they feel it's their
g-d given right to express it-so they do.
YOU are the one who chooses how you react to it-take it in-or let it go. it's not always easy.
DS also changed my life and gave me hope and peace and a place to come when I need support.
So, that being said, we are all emotional and reactionary because not only are we women lol but we are going through a terribly trying and difficult experience.
Let's try to put our differences aside and just be there for each other. We may disagree on some stuff, and that's just life, but we all have a common bond and need each other.
I love you ladies!! You are my best friends and the only ones I have truly let my guard down with regarding IF.
IN the short time that I have been involved I have seen alot of help and support to all the other IFers.