Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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Remember When...

JA0811
JA0811
Hey Ladies!

Remember life before IF??

Sometimes the irony just hits me on how things have changed over the years. I remember my DH and I discussing starting a family. He told me he wanted to be a young dad. I felt like it was a little too soon (we had been married a year and a few months), but I had only wanted to wait another 6 months or so, so it didn't bother me to start trying sooner.

I remember we first tried Dec 2008. I had my annual GYN appt coming up and was convinced I would be told I was pregnant at that appt. - AFTER ONE MONTH! HAHA! It all seems sooooo ridiculous now! I remember that first cycle i was one day late. I am super regular so I was SO convinced i must be pregnant. I went to take the home test and told my DH before I did it that i already knew I was pregnant bc I was late. HAHA! oooohhhhh maaaaan I was naive.

I remember picking my birth control and getting it each month. Didn't realize I was wasting my money.

I remember talking with my friends in high school and college, planning out my life. "I'll get married and in two years start having kids. I want to have three kids...etc."- Little did I know how hard it was going to be to make that happen...

I am just curious if you ladies have similar memories? While it hurts, i also find it a little humorous. I find it therapeutic writing memories like that out, and hope it will feel helpful for some of you too!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, I remember it well! Getting the depo shot every three months. Worrying about 'slips' and an occasional broken condom. If only I knew then what I know now! All of the wasted money, concern and needless hormones taken ... hindsight is a b****! I can also remember talking with DH about when to start trying. I told him we need to make sure we are really ready when we try because I feel like I am very 'fertile'. LOL I wish! We waited to try until we had done Europe, bought our house and I had a continuous teaching contract. If I had known it would take a while, I would have started right away. Oh well, life lessons.
tinababe1224
tinababe1224
When I was younger I remember saying, " I want to have a child when i'm 24." My cycles were regular only due to birth control (which I didn't realize at the time). I got married when I was 22 and my DH was 27, and we decided to try to have kids right away thinking that we would get pregnant within about two months since we were both young. Haha were we wrong or what?!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My DH wanted to start immediately after we got married to start trying and I was like you. I wanted to wait at least a year. I remember looking the calendar and counting the days and timing sex. Little did I know it didn't matter.
I remember taking pregnancy test after pregnancy test each month for a year when I was a day or two late.
And spending money on birth control and condoms. We wanted to use both just to be safe before we go married. LOL Such a waste of money.
deleted_user
deleted_user
JA0811, your story sounds almost exactly like mine. Well except for the 3 kids lol. I only want two, although my DH says we will try till we get a boy. But now we will be glad if we get one...boy or girl!

I used to plan out how and when I would tell my DH every month. I wanted so bad to buy him this "Super Dad" Comic book from Hallmark. We live about an hour from the closest one (yes we live in the boondocks) so I would plan when I would take the test without him know and how I would sneak off to buy the book. After months and months of planning this out during every 2ww I finally got tired of thinking about it and bought the darn book and said I know I'm not pregnant but here is a gift to show you we are not going to lose hope.

And dido on the bc. All that money and worry down the drain!
bc0rny
bc0rny
Oh I remember it well too. I was going to have 3 kids by the time I was 30. I wanted to try immediately after getting married by my DH wanted to get settled in life and we were young (22 & 23) so I thought we had plenty of time. Wasted 2 years on BC until DH was ready LOL. Here we are 12 years later and still no kids.
faithbaby007
faithbaby007
life is so funny last night i was discussing this exact thing with my husband my plan was get married by 23 have 1st child at 25 2nd at 27 and 3rd 29-30 then enjoy the rest of my life with my family well... am 29 and not even a false positive on a pregnancy test
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, yes. I have very similar memories. DH always says- the money we could've saved on birth control all those years if we only knew! We waited a few years after marriage to try so I could finish my graduate work. As much as I would've loved to figure everything out sooner, it really wouldn't have changed anything- DH would likely have still had low morphology then and we still would've needed IVF with ICSI to get anywhere. But, it is amazing how naive we were!!!!
tinyblessings
tinyblessings
So true! We also started trying in December 2008, and I remember all the excitement and expectation that we'd be pregnant that summer, have a baby at the next Christmas and so on. I also obsessed about how we'd tell our families, and now it feels as if the joke's on me!! That all seems life a LIFETIME ago. It's hard to wrap my mind around the amount of time. Oh, the innocence of pre-IF life!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hear ya girlie! Life was so much happier then when our fertility wasn't at the constant forefront of our mind. Hope you're staying positive! ;o)
Mendolove
Mendolove
Great post! I was taking my memories way back when me and my girls us to drink from Thursday from Sunday. When I use to spend a lot of time looking all cute!! I always said that I I wanted 4 kids, but they weren't even a concern then. Actually not getting knocked up was my main concern back then. Irony is a bitch!!!
oxoxxo
bluesky12
bluesky12
Good post even thought its hard it's weird to think what we use to worry about. I remember when our biggest concern was making sure we had enough money saved before we had a family so I could take maternity leave, when we made sure we brought a big enough house for three children because we wanted each child to have their own room and when we worried about birth control wasting all that money when it was never really needed.
The positive I take away from it is that I'm glad we waited a couple of years and enjoyed each others company before jumping in and having so many worries and expencies in our life.
JA0811
JA0811
Thanks for sharing your memories too ladies! Like some of you, I also used to obsess over how i would tell my DH, my family etc. I guess that is still something to dream about, it just feels less likely now. bluesky12, i agree with your last comment about still being glad you waited a little bit since IF def. complicates and adds stress to relationships! great way to see the positive in it!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I remember when i first started trying, i thought it would be so easy. I mean why shouldnt it be. We're women and were meant to concieve and carry babies. Little did i know the trouble i would have to do so. As a child i would always play house with my friends, and i was always a mom and a wife. Now the reality of it maybe never happening has turned my world upside down. I remember there was a time when i was teenager that i thought i didnt want kids, little did i know it would later be the one thing i wanted most!!
idem
idem
How stupid that I thought it would be so easy to conceive !!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My whole life I have talked about wanting two kids, and if they came at the same time then that was good for me. It seems like so long ago that life was that simple and easy to dream about the future. I am glad you find it therapeutic to write about the memories. I know for me I am not there yet, but anything that makes it easier is worth doing.