Two days before my period is due, I take the test. I know myself that there won't be any plus sign. But at 6am this morning when it was confirmed that I am indeed without yet again for another month it again broke me, throwing me to that dark pace where I visit far to often. I had a shower but I can't remember any of it, I was off in my own little world. It would have been perfect, November due date. I know that I shouldn't do this but you do don't you? You promise that next month your not thinking about any of this, nor are you gong to test early but then you end up dreaming once more, only to have your heart ripped out for the 100th time. I feel like I now have only one more chance, and I am showing some splinter cracks under the pressure. Next big day will be the 7th of march, where we have our follow up appointment at the clinic. I have taken the whole day off as what they have to say is going to be terrible. They are going to say that IVF is now the only other option, I think this because in our last appointment she stated that clomid and IVF were our only options. I have deprived myself of having to focus at work. I need time to think and to try to heal, but a day will have to suffice. I have very mixed feeling regarding IVF, I don't know if I'm cut out for that emotional downpour, I'm hardly keeping it together now.