Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Five years, countless sticks that have been peed on, so many tears, only one round of IUI, zero pregnancies. It seems that everyone around me is a fertile Myrtle, so much so I am ready to cancel my Facebook account. I am bitter, mad, sad, heartbroken, and tired.
My husband and I tried IUI for the first time this month, and it did not work. Not really all that surprised, they did tell us it takes on average two to three times for it to work. The kicker is we live at least an hour and work an hour and a half from our fertility clinic; yes, it is the closest one to us. So, that being said now that school has started, I am a teacher, picking up and leaving work on a moments notice to do a baseline ultrasound is not possible especially when I cant have my cellphone on from 7:30 to 4:00 during school. I started on Thursday, a day early, and called my clinic which isnt open on Thursday afternoons so I could not / did not hear back until 4:00 pm on Friday, not enough time to get in to town and get the baseline ultrasound done. Now the plan is to take the Clomid until Monday, then go in for an ultrasound if there is a cyst (which most likely there will be, there was last month but we continued) then I stop the meds and wait for the cyst to resolve itself this month and try next month. Great sounds easy on paper, but our reality is it isnt that simple. Maybe we are trying too hard to plan it so the timing is right, but our work schedules are not very supportive of trying to get this done any other time but the summer. It is a huge deal to try and take off time from the school, and I would like to keep my job (I am not trying to villainize the school, it is a fantastic place to work, but if you arent a teacher then you might not understand just how hard it is to miss school). I am in my mid-thirties and time is of the essence, please dont tell I have plenty of time, my mother passed away at 45 and her mother at 50, like I said time is of the essence. Why did it take us so long to try IUI? For the first two years my husband wouldnt go in for a semen analysis, he was living in the land of denial and thought It would just happen. Then year three I had some health issues with kidney stones and year four was spent trying to financially recoup from the kidney stones. So here we are in year five, going nowhere fast. I am normally a positive person and try to see the good in all situations, but I have lost that right now. I cannot see the positive side of any of this; like I said I am bitter. My husband is an only child and I am the only surviving child of my parents, my brother passed four and half years ago. We are the last hope for grandkids and to pass the family ranches on to the next generation. So there is additional stress on our lack of ability to have children. Our families have been really good and havent said anything about not being able to keep the ranches in the family if we cant have kids, but it is the elephant in the room that no one talks about. Please dont get me wrong, we dont want kids just to keep some land and a lifestyle continuing, it is just another straw in the pile. Yes, there is adoption and we have looked into it and right now there is no way that could happen for us. Financially it just isnt feasible for us; adoption is really expensive.
I am sorry that this is one long complaining feast and I know that there are couples out there that have it worse than us, I was just tired of keeping it all in and it is easier to say how I truly feel anonymously than to burden friends and family with our problems.
My husband and I tried IUI for the first time this month, and it did not work. Not really all that surprised, they did tell us it takes on average two to three times for it to work. The kicker is we live at least an hour and work an hour and a half from our fertility clinic; yes, it is the closest one to us. So, that being said now that school has started, I am a teacher, picking up and leaving work on a moments notice to do a baseline ultrasound is not possible especially when I cant have my cellphone on from 7:30 to 4:00 during school. I started on Thursday, a day early, and called my clinic which isnt open on Thursday afternoons so I could not / did not hear back until 4:00 pm on Friday, not enough time to get in to town and get the baseline ultrasound done. Now the plan is to take the Clomid until Monday, then go in for an ultrasound if there is a cyst (which most likely there will be, there was last month but we continued) then I stop the meds and wait for the cyst to resolve itself this month and try next month. Great sounds easy on paper, but our reality is it isnt that simple. Maybe we are trying too hard to plan it so the timing is right, but our work schedules are not very supportive of trying to get this done any other time but the summer. It is a huge deal to try and take off time from the school, and I would like to keep my job (I am not trying to villainize the school, it is a fantastic place to work, but if you arent a teacher then you might not understand just how hard it is to miss school). I am in my mid-thirties and time is of the essence, please dont tell I have plenty of time, my mother passed away at 45 and her mother at 50, like I said time is of the essence. Why did it take us so long to try IUI? For the first two years my husband wouldnt go in for a semen analysis, he was living in the land of denial and thought It would just happen. Then year three I had some health issues with kidney stones and year four was spent trying to financially recoup from the kidney stones. So here we are in year five, going nowhere fast. I am normally a positive person and try to see the good in all situations, but I have lost that right now. I cannot see the positive side of any of this; like I said I am bitter. My husband is an only child and I am the only surviving child of my parents, my brother passed four and half years ago. We are the last hope for grandkids and to pass the family ranches on to the next generation. So there is additional stress on our lack of ability to have children. Our families have been really good and havent said anything about not being able to keep the ranches in the family if we cant have kids, but it is the elephant in the room that no one talks about. Please dont get me wrong, we dont want kids just to keep some land and a lifestyle continuing, it is just another straw in the pile. Yes, there is adoption and we have looked into it and right now there is no way that could happen for us. Financially it just isnt feasible for us; adoption is really expensive.
I am sorry that this is one long complaining feast and I know that there are couples out there that have it worse than us, I was just tired of keeping it all in and it is easier to say how I truly feel anonymously than to burden friends and family with our problems.
I have just read your post and feel for you so much. I have never thought about the logistical difficulties of being a teacher (ie not being able to just slip away during lunch break) and having to drive an hour and a half in order to get even the ultrasound done!
I get the whole blocking facebeook thing! Recently, I blocked my own bridesmaid simply because she is pregnant and I know that I won't be able to deal with the big announcement on FB. Today, I had to leave a cafe as they were hosting a baby shower-I feel like this thing is ruling my life!!
Anyway, enough about me-I just wanted to reach out and let you know that you aren't alone-even though it really does feel like it....all the time! I guess we just have to reach out to each other... these anonymous people in cyber space for empathy as sometimes, they are the only ones whole can remotely understand what it is you are going through. I hope that you feel marginally better reading this-I feel a little better writing it. ..i have just had yet another negative HPT-I just feel so stupid for getting my hopes up each month...but that's life, and I am sure that heaps of people are facing the same single pink line all over the world...I just pray that each of us finally gets what we are so longing for!
Maybe check with you clinic to see if you can have BW/US done at a normal clinic close to you? Maybe they can just send results over so that you can get to your appointments easier. I know it's hard for teachers to sneak away and normally clinics are so great about appointments early, but that only helps when it's close by.
I wish you luck with whatever happens!!