Vision is 20/20 in retrospect. I'm so sorry that you won't be able to afford IVF this year. That is a horrendous feeling. But you can't blame yourself for decisions that you've already made. First off, you can't change it now. Second, there was something back then that helped you make the decision at the time. At the time, it was the right one for you. It just had unforseen consequences. I wish I had gotten off BCP when I was 16 and got knocked up. THen maybe I wouldn't be in this pain now. BUT, if I had, I can't even imagine the guy I was seeing then being the father of my child. Point being, you can't blame yourself for something you didn't see being a consequence in the future. You are a great person with great dreams and sometimes shitty consequences just pop up. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. I am sending hugs your way :-)

There was probably a good reason that you made the decision you made. It's hard to plan life around IF and we shouldn't have to. Do not blame yourself. Sorry you are feeling this way.

I agree with the others. Don't blame yourself. I have put my life on hold for many years because of IF. Should we take a vacation? Should we do home repairs? Should I change jobs? Should I go back to school? It gets tiring not being able to plan a life and living in limbo.

Four years ago, I went back to school and got my M.A. degree. I completed it. We didn't completely put "trying to get preggo" on hold, but there really wasn't much time to try treatments. The reason I wanted my MA was so I could have better career options and opportunities, which would help us financially should I get pregnant. I don't regret going back to school. And if one day I am blessed to have my own live baby, we'll be more comfortable and I'll have better job opportunities because of my MA.

I am 40 years old and starting the process now. I can tell you this: There is time - not a whole lot, but you are not out of the race yet.

You may consider these two options. (1) Financing through companies like Advanced Reproductive Care (http://www.arcfertility.com/) or (2) try to see if you have enough to at least freeze your eggs. As long as you are healthy and your uterus is healthy, you can carry a baby. The clock ticking is that there comes a point where your eggs are not healthy enough (at which time egg donors would be worth considering - if you and your uterus are healthy enough).

Regardless, get as much testing done now so that once you can start the process, you have as few setbacks as possible.

Best of luck, and don't give up hope.

im sorry ur feeling this way... things will work out in the end

Sorry for all that you are going through. Don't be too hard on yourself. The best thing to do is get as much (helpful) advice as you can and make a plan. Worrying about something you can't change won't help. I hope things get better for you. :(

I hear you loud and clear here, and im sorry you are feeling like this.... I also traded the last 13 years for my career,
i sit and sometimes think was it really worth it...I cry too and get afraid of getting older, yes the progression has been amazing - the qualifications an acheivment, the reputation outstanding, and made a whole lot of money for loads of companies.
i took a year off work when in 2011 to try for a child, thats when i discovered i was infertile and that something was wrong, even though i had been having un protected love with my husband for 10 years and not realising anything, we were not even thinking about making a child at that time, i didnt save money, or plan for this.. basically we went for the nice cars the great decorations, the fancy clothes the endless nights out..spending on ourselfs and others, if i knew then what i know now then i might have had a flipping plan for this... its taken 2 years to save a little bit each month for this...flipping IVF that im obsessing about to cure my craving and need to be pregnant - its a massive gamble ... i have had 2 cancelations, and we start again this month ... i know for sure my husband will give up on me and the ivf route if it doesnt work this cycle.. I read about those other couples putting huge debts and loans and all sorts, Do not allow yourself to get into a depression over this - easier said than done tho.. thinking of you x

I agree with Adris and Nellys. But I understand how u feel. After I did my IVF I was 31 and I remember then thinking I was too old then amd wouldnt get that kind of money again. So I just put it outta my mind. Now Im 43!!!!! And finally just got married about 2 yrs ago. But becuz I put it outta my mind I just fiured its over. Then my husband brought it up asking if I wanna try again. At first I thought "yea right Im 43!".....but hey its not over til its over. Ur a spring chicken compared to me. U got time. Dont pressure urself about time. Ive done that my whole life and if ya look back ull say "man I has plenty of time". Be easy on urself.