That is a hard one. I do not think you are pathetic. It is hard enough to get older and still feel good about ourselves around younger women, but dealing with IF at the same time makes it so much worse. I was reading in my book recently how IF can make a woman (and a man) feel worse about themselves in every aspect of their life. We feel since we fail at what we believe is one of the most basic functions of life, we must not be good enough in other areas of our lives as well. It is simply not true though. Unfortunately, there will always be women who are younger, thinner, fitter, prettier, or better in other ways then we are. But, we need to focus on our good qualities, as hard as it is.

I think you feel worse about her because you are already feeling bad about yourself. I don't know your DH so I can't say if talking with him about it would help or if he would say you are being jealous. (I don't think that is all that is going on though, being jealous that is)
Maybe if you explain to him that you feel bad about yourself for other reasons, he will be more thoughtful when she is around and how he behaves.

At the same time, you may want to try and write out the good things about you. The things that make you as special and wonderful as you are. I find that writing those things helps me to believe them.

I am sorry you feel the way you do and I can tell you that you are not alone.

hey girl... you're only 33!!! you are not much older then the 27yr old!!:)

Just remember to try to be confident - when someone just beams confidence, that is what makes them seem all the more beautiful & attractive. Thinking postively about urself will make ppl see u that way as well, trust me, it's all about attitude.

I would try to just be nice & become friends with the Russian girl & you may not see her as a "threat" or "competition" anymore. and when u are around her - wear ur best outfits that make u feel good about urself & make u feel sexy:)

Hi there these things can be hard when a new woman (if its with a relative or a friend) comes into the picture try not to stress about it that doesn't help maybe all this is worse than you think try to relax and don't stress the small stuff ( i know easier said than done LOL ) concentrate on you not on her I am sure you have alot more to offer than you are giving yourself credit for. Hang in there we are here for you :-) Good Luck

I don't think you would feel half as vulnerable as you do if you weren't facing IF. I know that I am alot more sensitive now that I have to struggle with IF. I have actually made comments to my DH about how I think he would be better off with someone else that could "give" him everything I can't & look good doing it. I feel less then happy with myself too...when DH & I met I was a size 00 needless to say I am double digits still but it is over a size 10!! My self esteem isn't that great...but I have to have faith that my DH has stuck by with all of this IF crap for a reason. I hope your DH proves to you that he loves you (despite how she or you looks)...I am sure you will be just fine. But, know this, you are not alone & it certainly does have to do with IF! xxxx

I know what you mean. I hate that sometimes I feel jelous. It is the worst feeling in the world. I am 31, but sometimes (especially with all the IVF crap) I feel old, dried up, unattractive, and as you put it - PATHETIC! I noticed that if I don't wear make-up or do anything great to my hair for a couple days and then make myself up that DH gets googly eyed over me. Try it... Also, don't let him see you naked all the time. I use to alway walk around naked in front om him, which took away from the imagination (guys always wonder what is under those jeans, even if they have seen it 100 times). Make him build up the lust for you! I have tried lots of little tricks and these seem to work well when I am feeling down. Good luck and let me know!

Listen women and men both have these insercurities!! I feel it too! PLEASE dont feel pathetic for feeling things that are totally human. I know I have had the instances that you speak of, but I notice that when I am feeling good about me, that no other woman can take it away!!