Hi Worn-out. Thanks for your reply on my post, and I just wanted to echo here that you are not alone. I know exactly what you mean by that "empty and alone" feeling. I often feel that way, and then feel very guilty for feeling that way, especially while my husband makes such an effort to stay positive and show his love. And sometimes I feel like I'm just not returning it in the way he deserves because I'm so trapped in my own emotions over not having the one thing I want most (while everyone else seems to have no problem). You are not a broken woman, and this is not your fault! I've found that each failed IUI has been really disappointing in its own way, especially because I went into it thinking the first one would work (after all, I was finally ovulating and everything was timed perfectly...). When we started trying, I assumed I would get pregnant relatively quickly. When that didn't happen, it was very hard. Then when we started IUIs, I assumed those HAD to work after maybe 3, and then that didn't happen. All along the way, I always thought..."I don't know how people go through 6 of these and still keep going," but here I am. Somehow you just do it, even when you keep always ending up where you never thought you'd be. But it becomes increasingly difficult to think that you're going to have success next time just repeating the same thing that didn't work before. Apparently that's how it happens for some people, though! So we both need to hang in there and hopefully this is the month for both of us! Would be happy to connect any time as we both continue on this journey.

You are not alone. There are so many of us here and although our journeys are different, we all understand the emptiness you feel and feel it too.

I had another failed FET last month and last night had a first family meal out with my nephew who is two months old today. I don't know how I made it through the meal. All they spoke about was him and how amazing and sweet he is. I literally just sat there. I don't want to disconnect from my family, but I just feel numb inside. I'm so sad for me at the minute I have no space for caring about him.

This site has really helped me to not feel alone. It's so nice to get support from people who "get it". I'm so tired of hallow support from those who don't get it. We're all here for you.

Thank you for the reply Mrs.O. The way you described it could not be more true. My best friend had a baby(completely unplanned and neither were very excited when they found out) about 6 months ago. I love their little girl but am secretly very greatful they live a state away also I don't have to deal with seeing her all the time. Numb is the perfect way to describe it. I feel so numb when it comes to caring about all of her milestones and with every picture I get. She knows how long we have been trying but just has the same phrase to offer as everyone else. When it's meant to be it'll happen. It's easy for someone with a beautiful little girl to wake up to every morning to say that... I would much rather a funny picture sent my way or a "crap, that sucks". I will say even just joining a few days ago I feel much better having some people to tell my feelings to without feeling judged for not being ecstatic with every new announcment.. you guys help so much.

You are absolutely not alone. We just took a mental and emotional 2 month break and will be going on to IUI #5...
I hope this next round will give you your bundle and if not just remember we are all here to vent too and help pick you back up. I Think one of the best pieces of advise I can give you.. is to try to remember that you are human... you are allowed to hurt and be angry and have an emotional roller coaster but you have to remember to be kind to yourself ♡ none of us in this journey asked for it and none of us did anything to cause it... it just is. Be kind to yourself ♡
When you are feeling low.. This community will help pick you up. Sending positive thoughts to you.

MissSattc, thank you so much for both of your comments on my posts. They both made me feel better. I think it's so hard to remember to take a breather every now and then and really hard to pull out of the mind set of "trying". I appreciate the advice and wish you so much luck on the next round! Hopefully the break helped and this is the lucky one for you!

Aww thank you... and honestly we are just a message away. it is very hard to step back and breathe but sometimes so so necessary for your own mental and emotional health. I try to always go with... if I feel like I need to cry.. then I damn well cry; I know tomorrow I wont need too or Ill wake up and be like I got this and be ready to fight again... whatever you feel you need to do.. dont feel guilty and do it :)