Hi ladies,
I'm fairly new to the group. I've been on for a few weeks reading people's stories, and it's been helpful, but I'm having a rough day and could use some encouragement.

I'll try to summarize our situation the best I can for some background. We've been trying for 2+ years to conceive. When it wasn't working naturally, my husband's semen was tested. Turns out, there weren't any sperm in there. After seeing a urologist, lots of tests and a testicular biopsy, we found that he produces them, they just can't get out. We were referred to a reproductive specialist who found that my husband doesn't have a vas deferens due to cystic fibrosis. Both of his gene's have a mutation and (surprise!) we found out I'm a carrier as well. (Thankfully, that is his only symptom of CF.) So now do we not only need to do IVF and ICSI, but we also need to do genetic testing on the embryos to make sure we don't pass it on. I talked to our genetics counselor today and our test for the embryos won't even be created for at least another four months, and then it takes a few weeks for the results to come back. Also, my husband works out of state every other month, so the process has already been stretched out longer than usual.

I do have really supportive friends and family, but most of them have known about this for just a few months, and they don't understand how it's felt to be disappointed over and over again. It seems like we've hit almost every obstacle along the way and I'm feeling a little defeated. People tell me to stay positive and it will work, but I'm finding that I have a hard time believing them. I want to stay positive, but I feel like there's a certain level of apathy that I need to maintain for self preservation in case IVF doesn't work and we're disappointed yet again. I want to be excited but right now I'm just overwhelmed.

Any encouragement or words of wisdom you have would be so helpful. Thank you, in advance!