Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
He does not say this directly but he definitely knows how to imply it. Every time the conversation or argument comes up about our infertility he states that he feels bad because I cant get pregnant. When he talks to friends or family about it he tells them that its my fault I cant get pregnant and that I am the only one suffering from infertility. He says "I feel so sorry for you that you cant get pg". The fact of the matter is we have both been to infertility specialists and they were unable to find a direct answer. For some reason he does not understand this. Yes I do have cysts but we were told that is not the reason for our infertility. He wont even stand up to his family and tell them the truth. I don't understand this. Why is it when women cant get pregnant the man always seems to blame it on the woman. I am so upset with this and it constantly makes me cry. please help me.
deleted_user
Maybe he feels its an insult to his "manhood" if it is him. I have unexplained infertility as well and cysts as well that the dr said wasnt the reason so I know what you are going through. I dont think your husband really believes it is you. Deep down he knows it can be either one of you. Have you told him how you feel about what he is saying. He may be very self conscious that he cant get you pregnant and is doing the worst thing he can do by blaming you. I doubt he even realizes what he is doing. Try and give him the benefit of the doubt and sit down and talk with him. Guys just dont get how infertility affects woman, they arent as emotional. What he is doing is hurtful and needs to know how you feel. I bought my husband a book called "what to expect when she's not expecting" I cant say that it helped me because DH never read it but it could help you. Sorry you are dealing with this :(
deleted_user
Being part of a couple where it's mostly my husbands "fault" it's a question of masculinity. His job is to "get 'er done" and he can't so talking about it is an issue. When people find out I generally just say it's both of us or I take the blame because he feels so bad. When it comes to the emotional issues I had to explain to him that it's not just an ambition I've had since we decided to try. It's a lifetime dream...playing with dolls as a little girl nobody told me "hey you won't really have this when you're an aduit." Is he open to counseling? We do couples counseling and although she hasn't given us direct strategies we've been a lot more compassionate towards each other and more open communication (without fighting).
deleted_user
Wow...that must be so pianful to deal with. I agree that most men probably feel that even the implication of fertility issues on his end is a blow to his masculinity, but it doesn't excuse the way he's pointing the finger at you and mkaing you so upset. I would suggest some in depth conversations about this, maybe even with a therapist/counselor. It's not fair to you or your marriage and is certainly not going to help the two of you fight this battle together. I hope he comes around and realizes this is a TEAM effort, regardless of who, if anyone, has the issue. Best of luck to you! Hang in there:)
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