Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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My first post....

MegKinPo
MegKinPo

Hey everyone,

This is a group I never hoped I would have to join, but I am really looking for some support on our TTC journey. 

I am 30, hubby is 31.  We have been married since 2014 and TTC since May 2016.  I tried to have fun with it at first, then got a little more obsessive about supplements, etc., and  then went for the OPKs and now that we have hit the one year mark I have been referred to a fertility clinic.  Have done a SHG, and cycle monitoring.  So many ultrasounds and enough blood work that I look like a drug addict.  In my TWW right now, going for a progesterone test on Monday then a pregnancy test the Monday after - which really just seems cruel to me!  Hubby is going for his semen analysis in 2 weeks.  I have my next appointment with the reproductive endocrinologist next month and am petrified that they are going to tell me it is "unexplained infertility" and not really give me any more answers.  I ovulate regularly (proven by kits and ultrasound), have a healthy BMI, eat only organic, exercise regularly, go for regular massages, and  basically do anything that google has said may increase our chances.  

Only thing a little strange with my cycles is I always start bleeding (more than spotting, but not quite a period) exactly a week after I ovulate, until my real period starts a week later.  The clinic has ruled out polyops, cysts, etc. but they haven't given me any explanation yet.  In fact, this cycle I started "spotting" 5 dpo, the earliest ever!  I have no idea what is going on with my body :( 

I opened up about our struggles to my best friend, who at first was incredibly supportive and checking in with me after my appointments and being there to chat.  Then she ignored me for a few weeks and last week, she showed up at my house to tell me she was pregnant, that she didn't plan it and was just drunk and it happened.  I couldn't even say congratulations, and just burst into tears.  I sent her a text afterwards to apologise for my reaction and she said she understood, but now I have no desire to be around her at all - and we have been friends since we were toddlers so I feel even more alone.  I feel as though this entire process has made me into a terrible person who can't be happy when anyone is pregnant.  

More of a venting post than anything, but I would love to make some connections with people who are going through the same thing as us and get any tips about how to stay positive and give me a glimpse of hope.

Thank you.

fsugrad05
fsugrad05
Well, I can't say I'm the person to come to for positivity...but I can say your feelings towards your friend are completely normal, we all have those feelings, then the guilt. My sister and I started trying at the same time, me for my first baby, her for her second, who is now an almost 4 year old boy. It was really hard to accept that she got pregnant a month after stopping birth control and here I am, almost 5 years later and still no (live) baby. And that was my sister, so don't beat yourself up too much for the jealous, anger, etc feelings.

As for starting this journey, it is a long, often stressful, sometimes devastating experience...but from the friends I have made on here, it is worth it when it works. It is good that you reached out for support, you will need it. I'm sorry you are going through this, I wouldn't wish this on anybody...and I'm also sorry I couldn't offer anything positive :/ But if you have questions about any step of the process, I have most likely been through it, so ask away!

Best of luck and lots of baby dust to you.
DitkaOnDeck
DitkaOnDeck
You are so not alone with those feelings. I have felt those exact same emotions. Angry, resentful, jealous, mixed with guilt, grief.

I'm sorry your experiencing this in your TTC journey, I hope you get some answers from your Specialist and get to grow your family soon!
mommy_in_training
mommy_in_training
Thinking of you @MegKinPo. I am in a similar situation to you but have been trying for 5 years..My husband and I are very private people and I opened up to a close friend and had a similar experience. So now it's just him and I pushing forwards. I hope you get your BFP soon. I was 8days late for AF last month and was hoping for a BFP but I'm out this month and am starting again CD4. We have done pre preg tests and if we aren't pregnant in the next 3 months then FS and IVF are are only options though I am hoping that we get our BFP before then ! #babydust
4Flowers
4Flowers
We tried for more than a year with no success, and we're going on 2 years this fall. My husband had a sperm analysis and got the ok, I had a lot of blood work done, an HSG test to check for tube blockages, and all came back ok last summer. I did discover after 6 months of tracking my cycles that I was getting my period exactly 9 days after a positive OPK test, and my FS says I have a short luteal phase...maybe that is what you're experiencing as well...it's worth asking your doctor. I tried my 1st round of 50mg of Clomid for 5 days in March, along with the Ovidrel shot to start ovulation when my Dr. said I was ready (it was day 13 for me), but we were not successful. I went back to the FS in April to start another round, but I was denied because 2 cysts developed as a side effect from the first round of Clomid....I was really discouraged, so April was not in the cards. AF arrived again today, so I hope I can start Clomid this week if everything looks ok...Dr. wants to double my dose, which makes me nervous, but I'm willing to give it a try. Good luck to you!
EBart1003
EBart1003
I give you credit for opening up to your best friend. I am sorry that she reacted the way she did. Not that I am sticking up for her, but I have found that it is very awkward for people. Those who are going through it do not understand and never will. I have one friend that knows everything. It was hard in the beginning because I did get the "relax", "have you tried this", etc. I went online, read a lot and found articles that I sent her on etiquette and what we do and don't want to hear. It really helped. I get texts before and after my appointments and lots of support. Maybe try sharing some of that with her. your expectations...I am going on my 3rd cycle of 50mg of Clomid tomorrow and although I know how this all works, it's scary as hell because IF this cycle is't successful, we move to a fertility specialist. I've been with my gyno because she told me she felt comfortable monitoring Clomid and I have been a patient of hers for 8 years and she had her baby via fertility treatments. I try to be positive, but i truly feel we will be seeing a fertility specialist and I am sad to leave her. Her and her nurses are awesome. You become attached to them when you see them so much. But best of luck to you! I am sorry that you are going through this, but one thing I have learned, We are not ALONE! I know it feels like we are quite often, but we are not ALONE! I have included some of the articles I shared with my friend!

http://www.resolve.org/support/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html
http://www.scarymommy.com/struggle-with-infertility-ttc/
http://www.resolve.org/support/for-family--friends/support-during-mother-s-day.html
http://www.resolve.org/support/for-family--friends/support-during-father-s-day.html