Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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lina2008 09/28/2008

Im feeling so horrible today. I was at my mother in laws yesterday for dinner. Well she just HAD to tell us that two of my DHs cousins are prego and one of his unties grandchildren is also preggo. Then she turns to DH and says with a stupid smirk on her face Oh well I guess mine are just a little slow at starting out I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me, I was not even over the shock of the pregnancy (for one its her third, for another, her second and for the third her first) and then she says that! I couldnt believe it!!!! But I thought to my self well, bugger you you mean old bat, hopefully this time with the Clomid it will have worked and then you will have to eat all your mean stupid words, and I actually felt just pleased in a twisted way! but as things have a way of being, my temps have dropped this morning which means that AF will be here by midday at the most, and I guess I wont be showing anyone anything.once again so Im left feeling like shit, broken, depressed, hurt and ever so disappointed (yet again).

deleted_user 09/28/2008

I'm so sorry, in laws can be cruel. I could write you a book on the things that have happened w/my in-laws... how they tell me all we need to do is stop stressing and that we should have "just tried this position before going through all that medical testing"! AS IF! They are truly ignorant so the way I look at it is they really don't know any better. Personally though, I probably would have said something back. NOt that it would have helped the situation but I'm just fed up myself. One of my best friends who is pregnant told me that I need to stop stressing and I said to her - you know I"m really sick and tired of people telling me that as if I can just flip a switch and control my emotions. Then my sister-in-law said something to me similar and I told her matter-of-factly, I'm not stressing, actually all I'm doing is explaining the process (but it obviously sounds stressful, just explianing it!). Anyway, sorry I'm babbling but I hope you know you're not alone and don't let them bring you down!!!!!

browngurl30 09/28/2008

NO SHE DIDNT!! This is person with surely no character!! i haven't had this insensitivity yet, but I can imagine that it sucks!! Please try to be encouraged

deleted_user 09/28/2008

Oh hun. That's awful. I know how you feel; my mother is that way. We no longer discuss anything IF related. It'll happen and she'll have to live with the hurtful things she's said.

deleted_user 09/28/2008

Oh, I have a monster-in-law myself. She has three sons, I have been married to her middle son for ten years. She likes to throw it in my face that we can't have kids. She has said some nasty things to me reguarding this. I have completely cut her out of my life. I am so sorry that she said that to you. Don't let someone else bring negativity into your life, it's not worth it.

deleted_user 09/29/2008

yeah mine even told me that even her 16 year old son had a given her a grandchild and she was going to save his stuff for us if we ever decided to have a child... yet she knows we have been trying for almost 3 years... got to love in-laws... I get it!

deleted_user 09/29/2008

i have inlaw issues also!!!i totally feel for you..mine got so bad that me and dh had to have a talk with them and ended up telling them not to ask me a damn thing about my infertility issues and when i want to share something wiht them they will hear from me..its been mos and mos since i told them anything and jsut recently let them know we were doing IVF when we were half way through the cycle..the break from info and the good talk acutally helped becuase now they are a little more sensitiv ewiht their words and dont badger me for information. i find that being upfront and honest is most helpful..that way you dont get the treamtent you dont deserve..its stressfull enough..tell people what ou need..let them know if they are bothering you..sometimes peopela re just idiots and think nothing of what they say

deleted_user 09/29/2008

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Some people can be so cruel and insensitive. I'm very lucky that my inlaws are great and have been very supportive with my IF struggle. I have encounter those insensitive situations with co-workers and friends that just have no clue what it feels to not be able to conceive. My heart and prayers go out to you. Try to distance yourself a little bit and if she makes you feel uncomfortable again, be honest with her and tell her it bothers you.

HeidiRenae 09/29/2008

I'm so sorry you have to deal with us. I agree w/the others that said to try and be up front and honest. You and DH should sit her down and have a little talk. Good luck w/everything sweetie.

deleted_user 09/29/2008

I am so sorry she makes you feel that way, did you ever try to tell her that she hurts your feeling sometimes since they do not understand thery do not realize

deleted_user 09/29/2008

I am sorry she acted that way. It may sound cruel but we haven't even told my inlaws anything about what is happening with us. I have the kind of mother in law that doesn't keep anything to herself. I do not want everyone asking questions all the time and me having to explain myself. Again, I am sorry and please don't let her words discourage you. Keep your head up.

dineeb 09/29/2008

I'm sorry!!! I also despise when people say all we need to do is stop stressing. I especially hate when people say to go out and drink because that's how they got unintentionally pregnant!!! Yep, that's good advice!!! My DH had said not to tell anyone we are trying from the start to avoid all the questioning and negative advise. Some times I think he is right, but I have also received some good support from friends, and some valueable information that he too has appreciated. I wish I hadn't told my inlaws though. Mother inlaw is wonderful, but the others.... well... good people, just not in this area!
I'm greatful for this website though!!! No one understands the depression, and helplessness that this can bring on! It can be so consuming!
I'm sure you have touched many other lives! And you should be proud of that!!!

deleted_user 09/29/2008

That's horrible, I'm so sorry your in laws are so insensitive. DH and I decided from the get go that we would keep our IF and RE attempts to ourselves at least at this point. It's awfully hard to do. I have no one to talk to about it so I thank God for all of you on DS! Good luck and I hope you get your BFP real soon. Hugs.

deleted_user 09/29/2008

have you considered a flaming bag of poo on her front porch. IT's a classic and OH so gratifying!

deleted_user 09/30/2008

I'm totally in agreement with hnelson and the flaming bag of dog poo, I would find the nearest bush and sit there and laugh sheepishly as she steps it out lol,

Your BFP will come soon don't stress, God saves the best for last!

strength4today 09/30/2008

i cannot begin to understand her insensitivity. what a mean, wretched, horrible, evil thing to say. hang in there hun...

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