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So I just finished a miscarriage last week. I was 4 weeks along. It was hard to deal with but I have been working on my emotions and trying to keep busy. My sister in law is pregnant with her first baby and is doing a gender reveal this Saturday she is only 15 weeks but found out the sex early because of the genetic testing. I am so faking my excitement and everything. I don't even want to go. I have had 2 miscarriages this year. She got pregnant on the first try and told everyone when she was 6 weeks, she has been great she told me well the baby doesn't have downs and we know the sex so going to do party to tell the gender. She will be 15 weeks then. I feel so bitter and then guilty because I feel that way. I have been married 15 years, and just got pregnant for the first time in Jan only to miscarry at 10 weeks. Then I tried a round of menopur and iui treatment and was pregnant again only to miscarry at 4 weeks. I never got the excited tell everyone I am prego thing or anything. I would not wish this on anyone. she seems so unfeelingabout what I went through she was well sorry about your loss but look at me I am prego! No seriously She basically text this to me. The day after I found out I was going to miscarry again she called to see how I was doing then said she was sorry for my loss but I was getting a new niece or nefew so that's good! That hurt so much! And that same day she decided to post a sonogram picture and tell all of face book she was prego. I feel bad but this hurt me no heads up she was doing this or anything so while I sat there bleeding it felt like a slap to the face. I am trying not to whine really I am just hurting and need to get it out so I can heal. I guess now can put those years of theater class to good use on Saturday and fake my way through it. She also told me she wants all kinds of cute home made baby things from me because I sew. All on the same day I was going through my loss. Any way I just needed to get this out and work on healing and prepareding myself for round 2 of treatments next month. I am not sure if i can do this again and lose another baby.
I wish I could say it gets easier, but what has helped me is putting myself first and saying no where I can. Make an excuse like your sewing machine is broken! You deserve to put yourself first and spend your time healing as you need. There are times when you can't escape it, but make sure you give yourself space afterwards to deal with it all. Avoide her for a while after the gender revel party, cause you definitely won't want to see her!
We are all here for you anytime you need to vent.
I am so sorry for your loss and for the lack of support from your sister in law. There really aren't words to express what we are all going through. I don't know if I'm angry or sad or frustrated or hurt or all of the above at different moments during a given day.
I'm very fortunate that my friends have been sensitive, including those that are pregnant.
I was out of town for a friend's baby shower and I really had wanted to go, but after seeing the picture of all our friends in one photo lined up to show off their pregnant bellies, I decided that it was probably for the best that I wasn't there.
With your sister in law and her lack of sensitivity, it sounds like you have to protect yourself. If the day of the shower comes and you and your husband really don't want to go, a "stomach bug" may have hit you both rendering you both incapable of going. Whatever it takes to help YOU get through this. I am sending you positive vibes to get through this and deal with the emotions that come with it. Also know that you're not alone. We are all here for you. I
I found myself thinking of you this past weekend. I think you and your husband had his sister's gender reveal party. Was it as painful as it sounded? I hope you were able to fulfill the duties you felt responsible for as a sister in law, but were able to take care of yourself too.
My husband and I are hosting a "meet and greet" for our friends who just had a baby and wanted our group of friends to come and meet the baby and share a meal, but they didn't want to clean up the mess after the large crowd. I'm feeling ok about it, but will feel a sense of relief once it's done.
You are so strong for going to your SIL's gender reveal. I don't think I could have done that. You deserve to treat yourself. Hugs and prayers.