we have been ttc for 2 years. I have had some problems and would have put money on the fact that it was all me. I felt like a complete failure as a woman. At my last doc's appt the doctor said that we should go ahead and pursue testing my husband. I put it off for 6 months because I didnt even want to put my husband in that position. My husband finally talked me into it, and found out that he has fertility issues as well. I may be wrong but i truly think that it is harder on a man to hear that. I hurt everyday over it. I never wanted him to feel the loss or the pain that I deal with everyday. It is hard for him to even talk about. He says he feels like he let me down although I have some issues as well. To protect his feelings I even tell everyone that he is perfactly healthy and that it is all me. But I would think that there is somthing that can be done for your husband. And I guess when it is all said and done there is always adoption. All I can say is show him a tremendous amount of support do not let him feel like he has failed you. You guys will get through it and be fine.

Kristiebear,
You are definately not alone in this. I just joined the group a few weeks ago and have found it very helpful. MY DH and I are in the exact same boat you are. My DH has ZERO sperm....never had...never will. He has 2 different "conditions" that prevent him from producing sperm. That was a devistating blow to him...as well as for me. I thought it was me the whole time we've been ttc. We have decided to use donor sperm...which we have just purchased a few weeks ago....however, my body is not cooperating with any of the fertility treatments. We've been with an RE since January of this year.
If you ever need anyone to talk to let me know. It is an emotional road but you'll find lots of support here.
As far as DH is concerned, he may clam up and not want to talk about it. As my DH says he handles his stress or worries about his condition entirely different than I do. After we found out it took him about a month before he would discuss his feelings with me. If you have any questions, please feel free to message me.
Good luck and lots of baby dust to you and your DH. ~ Kelly

I am not in the exact same situation, but we do have male and female factors. Going into it we thought it was just me. Then we found out DF had very low counts, volume, motility and poor morphology. During one of our IVF's his motility dropped to zero and we had no embryos to transfer. I was extremely devastated but did not want him to feel worse then I knew he already did.

I am not sure if there is something causing your DH to have zero sperm (maybe a blockage of some sort) or if he has none. I know in some cases they can go in and retrieve enough for IVF. The urologist should be able to help figure out what is going on and what your best course of action is.

As of now there is still hope. I would think you would need to go the IVF route though, if you were not heading that way already. The urologist could want him to take meds and wait about 3 months to see if there is any improvement. It is so hard to say for sure at this point.

I saw a show on TLC (one of the baby shows) and the couple had infertility. The husband had I think 6 sperm total. They went in and surgically took them from him and fertilized eggs. I am not sure how many they transferred back. For some reason I think they only had one or two they could use. But they did get pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Unfortunatley I can not tell you your future. It could turn out that you may need to use donor sperm.

I wish you the best of luck.

Our fertility problems were male factor. My husband had a count of 1 to 2 million, then low morph, motility and poor quality. He was referred to a urologist who put my husband on clomid for about 6 months. He also advised my husband to make some lifestyle changes (that he didn't listen to until over a year later). I know from going to the urologist that it could be something that can be resolved surgically. For us, the clomid worked to produce sperm but not a pregnancy. Our pregnancy came after the lifestyle changes. Less alcohol, loose fitting pants and underwear and no cell phones in the pockets. He did take fertiliblend also.
I am so sorry that you have to face this and I wish you and your husband all of the luck in the world.

My DH just had a second SA done on Sunday. We just learned from the first one that he too has Zero sperm. I have never heard of such a thing until now. He is scheduled for an ultrasound next in two weeks. I have both tubes but only 1 ovary. This whole time of ttc I really thought it was me with the problem. We are working through this together. Men do have their own way of dealing with issues. I just let him work through it on his end, which mean he may not have a lot to say. Then after he has processed it he will then talk to me. I wish you and all of us the best of luck.

I totally understand what you are going through! My husband was in a car accident and has diabetes, we have been TTC for 5 years because his sperm count went from 1.8 mil to zero. It was a long a difficult road even to get to this point. As the other ladies said below it is a big blow to the male ego to have to talk about this issue. My DH and I have recently just finished our 1st IUI using donor sperm and I am days away from either BFN or BFP but either way I feel better because we are moving forward. But I tell you it was very hard for both of us to come to this decision about the donor sperm idea- it may not be ideal or exactly how you pictured it working but it is an option. I really do hope that things get brighter for you!!! If you want to talk I am there- just mail me.

I wish you luck with everything and a BFP soon.

I Know how are you feeling... We've been trying for over a year now and I knew would be hard, because I had PCOS (at least I thought I had, turns out I don't have it anymore), the whole time I was killing myself over the thought that if wasn't for me, my DH could have his little girl by now. When we found out that the problem was more him than me, he said he was actually happy, because I wouldn't have to feel guilt all alone, now he had some guilt on that too... I know sounds weird, but that is his way to show support and now it's my turn to support him... The most important thing is, there is no guilt part, you guys are just one, doesn't really matter how is "broken", if one is broken the other one is too...You guys are together in this, all the time, for good and bad times...

I'm so sorry for the pain that you and your DH are in. We too have male factor IF. My DH has a count of 1.3 million. We decided to try IUI with his sperm and after the wash only 2 sperm survived so needless to say, the IUI didn't work. We then saw a urologist and basically he said there wasn't much he could do to help us.

My DH tried Clomid for a while but was a total nut on that stuff. Plus the research we read (from the urologist) said that clomid tends to increase sperm quantity but in all of the studies done it has had NO increase in pregnancy rates.

My DH and I then tried IVF and 10 sperm survived the wash that time. The IVF worked and I was able to get pg but then I miscarried right away.

As far as helping your DH I would say give him time to adjust to the news and then just be there for him. My DH was pretty quiet about it for a while and then he opened up and tried to apologize for not being able to get my pg. At that point I made him promise to never apologize for that again and that we were in this together. We found out about his low count in March and not a day has gone by since that he hasn't made some comment about being broken, worthless, no good, that I should leave him, etc...

Every time he says a comment I just tell him how much I love him, that I didn't marry him for his sperm, and that we will get through this together. I wish you luck and I hope the urologist has good things to say!

I've got exaclty the same problem. But my DH apparently didn't take it personally at all, and just booked us for an IVF with ICSI (donor sperm).

Do you know for sure that he feels like a "broken toy"? Or is it the projection of your feelings on him? Have you tried talking with him about how he feels about it? Maybe he just needs to know that you still consider him very manly and that nothing will change.

Give him some time to digest the news, and then, if you want to be pregnant, start talking about donor sperm. I know a lot of couples who got pregnant that way, and I swear their kids take so much after their dads!

Just know that it's not the end of the world. Sure, it's a blow and it's going to be tough for a while. But you and your husband will get pass this and things will be ok in the end...I'm here if you want to talk about it. Take care.

My DH also had a zero sperm count. We knew that money was going to be a huge problem with all the testing and bx's that he would have to have. And even then we did know 100% that we would have a child of our own. So we turned to a sperm donor. We just picked someone that looked just like DH and we did a IUI and I'm now 5 months along. I thought on it all is...any man can be a father but it takes a real man to be a daddy. I wish you both the best.