Hi Daniella! I can't say that I am in the same boat as you, but I do know some of your struggles and some of the pain you are feeling. I am only 24, but I recently found out my husband is infertile from chemotherapy. I know this is a tough journey, and I often find myself forgotten by God. Everyone says to "keep the faith" but that's hard sometimes. I recently put together a "31 days of prayer" booklet that my husband and I are going to start tonight. All I can say is to hang in there, and know that you're not alone! I don't think it's weird that you wish they would find something wrong with you. At least you would know what it is and not always be wondering. Maybe you could start looking into adoption, and start seeing what it's all about. Make sure you are ready to do that though emotionally. I'm sending hugs to you!!

Hi Daniella... I hope that you are feeling a little better than when you wrote this. I completely understand the frustration that is felt when the doctors keep saying that there is nothing wrong. And I am so sorry about your IVF cycle. I vividly remember the pain that came after another failed transfer- it is almost too much for a person to bear. I hope that somehow you are able to find the strength and peace to move forward- you just have to keep the hope alive.

Hi Daniella, I do understand some of what you're going through. My husband and I have unexplained infertility. There is no reason why we can't get pregnant, but either Mother Nature, or God, has never made it happen for us. We chose, early on, to not intervene medically through hormones, IVF, or any other means. We have also chosen not to adopt. Our reasoning is true only to us, and difficult to explain to anyone who isn't inside our minds to understand. So it was up to Mother Nature and God to decide, really.

I struggled for a long time, feeling alone, and angry. As I got on in age, my dream became further out of reach. I am now 41 years old, and my husband and I have got off the "baby train". We made a choice to close the door to our dream. There was just so much sadness, unknowns, and disappointment, and we had to eventually put an end to it.

The thing that I learned is that we DO have choices to make. We have the choice to continue to try, the choice to intervene, the choice to adopt, and the choice to close the door. I got tired of feeling like I did not have the choice, and simply waiting to see if it would happen. It was such a sad place in my life....waiting and wondering.

When you said "No one can assure me my dream will come true, and it doesn't depend on me", my first thought was that it can depend on you, when you're ready to make that choice. You can make the choice to continue to try, the choice to continue to medically intervene for fertility help, the choice to adopt, or the choice to walk away. Maybe you're not ready to make any decisions yet, and that's perfectly ok! Very early on I chose not to pursue fertility treatments, and I was ok with that. When we were ready, we talked about adoption, and felt that it didn't suit us, and I was ok with that. Then came the time for us to chose to stop trying, insert an IUD, and "turn off" my reproductive system. None of these decisions happened close together....some were years apart. But the decisions happened when I was ready to make them.

I understand the pain of what you're going through. Not having answers leaves you waiting, and wondering. I didn't have answers either, and I felt alone and overcome with emotions. But my journey did depend on me, because I got to the point where I was tired of waiting and wondering, and not having control over anything. When I was ready, I took the small steps I needed along with the help of my husband, my psychologist, and family and friends that I could confide in. It was a slow, and painful process. But when I finally closed the door to my dream of motherhood earlier this year, it was liberating and sad all at the same time. I am still mourning and struggling with parts of it, but I am comfortable with my decision to shut the door.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, when you're ready, your journey can depend on you. You don't have to be a flag on a pole that depends on the direction the wind blows. You do have choices available to you, when you're ready to make them. I do know how hopeless it feels, believe me. But I hope that you can find strength in your own heart and mind to navigate your path in a way that fits you and helps you cope with the struggles of infertility. Keep the conversation going with your husband, and navigate the path together. When you're ready to make a decision, you will know.

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. I hope that you find peace in whatever decisions you make! Hugs to you!

Hi Daniella! As much as we think that medicine has advanced, these kinds of situations prove that we still have long way to go till we find solutions to our medical challenges. The diagnostic testing that's available will identify major reasons it's difficult to get pregnant but it certainly can not identify all the reasons.
I agree with Marlablue75, that we all have choices to make, which aren't always easy to make by ourselves. You and your partner need to decide if you want to share your struggles with your family and loved ones. Having a heart to heat talk to someone who can listen to you helps to alleviate some of the pain. Don't ignore your emotions or avoid dealing with them because you feel like you're somehow responsible for being infertile.
Again, you have options that you should explore whether it's surrogacy, adoption or even egg donation as probably one of the last resorts for having your own child. In any respect, no matter how it takes place, it is just the start of a lifetime commitment to making the best possible choices for the wellbeing of your family.

I'm right there with you! Our diagnosis is also "unexplained infertility" and it's so frustrating that there is nothing to focus on trying to fix! It's frustrating & im feeling very hopeless as well after one failed IVF! All of our embryos died before freeze/transfer. I wasn't really given a reason why that happened either but the doctor is encouraging us to try again.

I'm really struggling with deciding what to do next. We are also considering addition but I'm not ready to move forward with that until we've decided to stop fertility treatment. So I know what you mean about wanting answers so you can know if you should move on.

I just wanted to let you know you're not alone & I understand your frustration! And how difficult this is!

It helps some to talk about these things! That's why I joined this group. I also talk to my husband of course & more recently have talked with friends & family about our infertility but that's tough because they have no idea what we're going through. Hopefully hearing from those of us who can relate to what you're going through will help you feel less alone & feel some support through all of this.

Stay strong!

It is a relief to feel that I'm not alone. I really appreciate every word written and I'm so thankfull for all the replies. They really changed the way I look at my life right now and how I dela with this situacion.
Marlablue75, I spent days thinking about what you wrote and you are completely right! I made the choice to be happy with what I have now. No more waiting for a baby to feel happy and complete. I am learning to make plans without considering being a mother and I'm actually seeing the best side of it: I can do whatever I want, spend money with myself, don't worry about babies needs and times, enjoy my life with my husband as honeymooners forever.
Would I exchange all of that for a baby? Of course I would! But as it is not up to me, I'll live the best of being free from parental responsabilities. Wake up late whenever I want.
I just wanted to thank you all and to also tell you that we may be far but we are together on this. I'll be praying that we all feel better and be happy.
Hugo to all of you!

(Marlablue75, you may never understand how important you words were to me and the huge impact they had in my life! You are trully blesed and you'll be in my prayers and thoughts. Thank you, thank you and thank you again!