Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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Losing hope...

KC198
KC198

My husband and I have been trying to concieve for two years. After a year and a half of trying on our own we decided to try IUI. We did two and neither were successful. We were going to try a third but after taking Clomid again and going for my follicle check it showed I had a cyst and we had to cancel. We talked about it and decided to move on to IVF. The time finally came and after a couple years of seeing constant negatives we finally got our first positve! I went for initial bloodwork and my beta numbers came back lower then expected. Over the next several weeks I continued blood work twice weekly to keep checking my beta. They continued to rise but were not doubling and the doctors were concerned that it was not a viable pregnancy. At six weeks pregnant we went for an ultrasound and found out that it was ectopic and had to take methotrexate to end the pregnancy. We are now waiting until we can do a frozen transfer but in the mean time everybody I know seems to be getting pregnant and I am losing my mind. One of my closest friends got pregnant with her second child the first month of trying. That was really hard because my husband and I started trying when she was one month pregnant with her first and now she has gone through an entire pregnancy, a year of mat leave and is now pregnant again. I am very happy for her but i am just getting more and more discouraged and losing hope. This is the first time i have ever posted anything. I don't have anyone close to me who struggles with infertilty and it has been nice to see the support you guys give each other on here. 

alea023
alea023
Your post really spoke to me so I decided to create an account. My husband and I have been trying for 20 months and we are on our 3rd IUI then going to IVF. I have many friends who have kids and one of my friends just delivered this month. It's been the hardest personal journey to overcome each month and the fleeting hope that one month will be different and end in pregnancy diminishes everyday. I don't have anyone I know going through this process either so i hear you and it is lonely. And I don't have any words of advice because I haven't quite fiquered out what to tell myself to help. It sucks and its heartbreaking. I hope your dreams come true and I hope you give love and kindness to yourself throughout your journey.
KC198
KC198
Thank you so much for your reply. It feels like I find out someone I know is pregnant on a weekly basis now. Maybe it has always been that way but I am only noticing it more now because I am going through this struggle and want to have a baby so badly. My husband received a message last night from a coworker telling us that they just found out they are pregnant with twins which will put them at having 5 kids. It pushed me over the edge emotionally. Sometimes I feel like a horrible person because I feel so resentful when other people disclose they are pregnant. I always put on an act that I am happy for them because in away I am but it just hurts. It is definitely difficult not having anyone close who can relate because unless they have gone through it they can't truly understand the pain that infertility causes. I cry a lot when I read other peoples posts because I can relate so much and I find that both comforting and sad. It is nice to know that I am not alone but hate that so many good people have to go through this. I really hope that everything works out for you as well. Fingers crossed for both of us!
fffFFF
fffFFF
I am sorry you are going through this, but I am sure your time will come. I would recommend discussing IVF with PGS NGS with yr doc to increase your chances of having a problem-free pregnancy. Good luck x
lilie315
lilie315
This journey is super lonely. There are so many people who understand what each of us is going thru, but at the end of the day we are all experiencing it "just a little bit differently". ALL of my friends have more than 1 child, and it is very hard sometimes to stay positive. (If you want to hear my story, feel free to message me, b/c i feel like i've posted it so often that many of the readers are tired of reading it already.) But just know that you are not alone in the little (or big) feelings of jealousy, of having to put on a happy face when you hear/see someone expecting or having a baby, or the comments friends and family makes - always when they are unasked. I am so sorry that you are going thru all these struggles - you are in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo
Journey8
Journey8
I am reading your post and it was almost as I wrote it.
I have struggled with being alone and I think you are in the right place. I just joined, and have been looking for exactly this. Support & understanding.
Im surrounded by babies and i just want to stay in house and try to convince myself we will get pregnant. Definitely deleted Facebook, that helped my mind some. I'm getting more depressed each month, how could I not.
after 3 years of trying, 1 ovary removed that had a cyst, hubby had a Varicocele surgery, 5 failed IUI's, a polyp removed prior to IVF, we ended up with 3 embryos and transferred 2. We were pregnant and beyond excited. We planned on announcing Christmas day at 5weeks. 3 days before Christmas we went on for an ultrasound. It was ectopic and we were devastated. Took 3 days off of work and just grieved together. I just wanted to share with you since you are in the boat as me. We are doing FET with our last embryo tomorrow. This absolutely has to work for my sanity and bank account! The debt alone is a battle. Best of luck. Keep in touch!
KC198
KC198
Journey8 I'm very sorry you are going through this. Going through IVF and getting pregnant for the first time only to find out it is ectopic is devastating. I am not sure what method you used to end the pregnancy but we used methotrexate which then put us in a three month waiting period before we could do a frozen transfer. The waiting has been the worst. We are getting closer and will be doing the frozen transfer mid April. I am excited for you that your transfer is tomorrow. Please keep me posted on how it goes! Sending positive thoughts your way!