Ugh I know the feeling of feeling the pressure to get pregnant. My partner and I have been trying to conceive for 5 years - I too am 35. I had envisioned we'd have a couple kids by now. I've been through the wave of people in my life having children early and was not phased by it because I wasn't even in that headspace, and am feeling like the second wave of people I know in their 30's are already having theirs and I'm getting panicked! While I wasn't seriously concerned the first two years, no success and bad results with my partner's sperm analysis have resulted in my mind constantly being focused on all things fertility related. It's been such a painful process. I find myself going with the flow, some days are terrible others I feel a bit better, but it's always in the back of my mind. I am still hopeful (most days anyways) but have thought about what my life would look like childless. I found the more I was avoiding that thought the more anxious I became. I have accepted I can still do all things within my power to try to conceive while also thinking about the fact it might not happen - one does not negate the other. Some people might disagree but it gives me perspective that there is life beyond this...even if it's painful and will not be the life I chose.

Thank you for this. It really is nice hearing from people who do actually understand the pain and suffering we go through month after month. May I ask what you have tried? What your situation is? I have suspected endo, pcos and hubby's sperm is an issue. I appreciate your comment about looking at the future possibly childless, it's a really hard one to face but your right it could be one of the factors fueling my anxiety. Thanks again

Thankfully our issues aren’t on both ends, from the testing done anyways it points to my partner’s sperm as the issue. The difficult part with that is its really out of my control. The basic testing for him showed no concerns, but more in depth testing (dna fragmentation) showed he was in the “poor” range, which didn’t sound terrible until the doctor said it meant his sperm would not fertilize an egg, and it tooks IUI and IVF off the table as options. Needless to say, this was devestating news. He did what was recommended in an attempt to improve it, but there was no garuntee this would make a difference (vitamins, diet, meds, etc). We got great news a couple months ago that he improved and is now in the range where fertilization is possible - so happy about this! We got back into really trying since then, and now feel back in the rollercoaster of trying, waiting, being disappointed...and all the while feeling time is quickly passing by.

At one point I did start to prepare myself for a potentially childless future. I needed to allow myself to mentally go there in case it became a reality. My journey was long with many bumps... but I now have a daughter and I am pregnant with a son! Hang in there and try some of the treatments!!!

Thank you both! Lily519 I'm really happy to hear that things are looking up for you guys, that's so awesome! Wish you the best of luck! I love hearing everyone's stories here, it really is uplifting as I was feeling do alone with this

I'm almost in the exact same situation as you. I just turned 35 and my husband and I have been TTC for 3 years. We also are talking about trying IUI while we are on the (LONG) waitlist for IVF. It's super disappointing that I don't have a solution yet but our issue is I have polycystic ovary syndrome. I just had to take 2 cycles off to naturally get rid of/shrink cysts in both my ovaries. I feel like when that happens, I'm wasting precious time but what can I do?? Anyway, I try really hard to stay positive. I mean it is SO common nowadays for women to start having a family in their 30's now. I know we have our issues which makes everything more difficult but modern medicine is great and there is a lot of help for us. I'm sure you heard it before but try not to stress yourself out. It really does effect it. Last year, I did get pregnant when I least expected it. What I mean is we had been trying with the help of the fertility clinic for over a year at that point so I was used to disappointment. Unfortunately I suffered a miscarriage. It was early on so I barely had any time to be happy about being pregnant. But my point is, I was much more carefree when it happened. I didn't think it would take this long to get pregnant again so I feel like I was maybe expecting it to happen again. It's been almost a whole year now. I know it's hard but you need to try and relax. I don't think you should necessarily think about your future being childless but focus on enjoying your life currently. Things change forever when you have kids so live it up now! It will happen for you. How I see it, the doctor did not tell me I couldn't have kids so it will happen. It may take time but with the right help and down careful planning, we will get there! I hope some of this helped even in the slightest. Best of luck to you!