I completely get where you are at emotionally. I feel like I was just reading something I posted. I agree I have always been a positive, happy person and recently am someone I don't even recognize. My husband says the same thing and always seems to be so positive. Which I should be so grateful for but most days it makes me frustrated because I can't find that optimism anymore and don't understand why I feel like this and he doesn’t.. I also agree with the hope issue. It's hard to find hope every month when you're so used to the same result.. My thought is always why get my hopes up when it hasn't works for the past years... I'm sorry you are feeling like that. I talked with my husband this morning after a few days of weirdness with eachother. He told me how he was feeling and I did my best to explain why I am upset and that I don't understand why I can't pull myself out of this. We agreed to focus on eachother as much as possible and have days or date nights where we don't talk about it and only talk about happy things! Also I have been so stressed I decided to surprise him with couples massages on our next day off together. I know I need one and it hopefully will be a bonding thing for us. I hope you find a way to feel more optimistic! You are in my thoughts and I wish you all the luck!

Sorry you are here, but glad you found this group. DS was definitely one of my saving graces while I was going through IUI and IVF treatments. I don't know how emotionally healthy this advice is, but I just had to keep lying to myself. I don't know how many times I repeated to myself "everything will be ok" while I was literally crying hysterically on the bathroom floor again. I just had to make myself believe it so I could get to the next step. The person who told you "fake it 'til you make it" was absolutely correct. I had to find things to remind myself that this was not the worst possible thing that could happen to me- that is just how I was able to cope & function in the "normal" world. Somehow I was able to muster up enough hope to get me through and I hope you can too. Sending you peace and light:)

Hello honey! You made the right thing you came here. I joined this board about a month ago and I have no regrets. Here I found support I needed. Sometimes this is really hard to have hope. And when you feel like you have some this is really hard to save it for a long time. I was diagnosed with PCOS. Treatment didn't work for us. Now I'm thinking about IVF with using donor eggs. This opportunity just popped out in my life and I'm kind of lost and scared. I understand that this is my chance to have a baby. This is my chance to have everything I've been dreaming about. But everything I can think about is "what if it also doesn't work for us?" When I think about the whole process we will have to face... I don't know… I feel like I'm not ready maybe. I can't explain what is happening inside me. I have so many questions and not so many answers. Maybe if I know more about the procedure it will be easier for me to accept it.

As you I want to stop being so negative and so depressed all the time. I was a completely different person 8 years ago. My long and exhausting ttc turned me into a person I don't want to be. I hope IVF will work for both of us! I wish you the best of luck!

Totally hear you! I was the "I'm never doing IVF, i can't handle it, no way, no how" person. Now, in my head we're doing it! but I'm with you, b/c i can't tell you that i'm hopeful. I dont know what that word means in this context. Perhaps others on here can help us both with that? How can you be "hopeful'' that after you go thru ALL of this, that we'll be successful when it just comes without a thought of so many people? They say about life to put in the work - look around at everyone here whose put the work in and the success?? I honestly agree in a way, i don't know how to be hopeful. But i will tell you this thing - I am a religious person, so i'm working very hard to give this over to a higher power while trying to leave that "this could totally work and in a few months you could be pregant" voice that is in my head buried in the back of my head somewhere. While I am in no way telling you or anyone else what to believe, this is just something that i have to remind myself i'm doing when i feel completely hopeless. Sending you hugs and comfort and strength.

Thank you ladies, I'm feeling better and my husband and I are at a better place as well. I think it's been hard on him to see me struggling and not be able to "fix the problem."
We'll have the phone interview this Tuesday with my IVF nurse and have a lot of questions answered that have been causing some anxiety for me, mostly about how to complete IVF and still be able to work with such expectations of needing to travel over an hour for a five minute ultrasound on a less than days notice? I may not have all the information I need to figure out a plan.
I'm truly feeling better and may be even a little hopeful? to start this IVF process. Whatever it is, I'm going to ride this wave and enjoy being out of the negative slump for as long as I possibly can!

I'm definitely in your boat, I can say me and my husband argue about this same thing. I have to remind myself he is a man and in general he deals with emotions differently than I do. He can get over a fight in five minutes and want to kiss and make up and I'm never over anything that fast. I don't know your husband but I'm guessing he is just trying to be supportive even when it doesn't help. Being apart of this group has helped me. It does make the situation we are in less difficult, but know that I'm keeping un my prayers and thoughts everyday. I have a favorite quote I try and keep in my head "being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect it means we learn to see past the imperfections." I've been feeling a lot better lately because I try everyday to find one thing that went good or I'm thankful for. It doesn't make me jump for joy but it does help me to not get so depressed. I wish you the best of luck and I'll be thinking of you

I'm happy to know you feel better now! I hope you will keep sharing news about your journey with us. I decided to look more into using donor eggs. I will have a consultation with my dog in a few days. I hope he will approve this option. It seems to me this is perfect variant and for us. I wish you all the best in your journey! Good luck dear!

Happy you are feeling more hopeful! It is definitely an emotional rollercoaster ttc and then IVF. I am new to this board because I feel that I need some support. I'm on my second IVF cycle with a new RE who I feel good about and trying to stay as hopeful as I can about this round and my upcoming frozen embryo transfer in October. I struggle with Bipolar 2 depression and it has been a monumental task to keep it together as I have had to be off my normal medication (dangerous to babies) and on another medication that leaves me feeling down but at least not spinning out of control. Hats off to my husband who has had to put me back together multiple times as it's so easy to fall apart thinking you might not be able to have a child. I feel so bad every time I fall apart and he has to pull me out of my depression hole. One of the best things for me is distracting myself by being around friends that really care. I have chosen to share my struggles with many of my friends who can be there for support. I like what you say plumberchic by trying to find one thing in the day that went good or you are thankful for. I need to start writing these down. Hugs to all!

Talkingrain,
I'm so glad you have a supportive partner and caring friends to help you through this journey. I really admire your courage to deal with transitioning to another medication, knowing you may not feel as good as you did on the medication that seemed to work for you but not for a developing baby. You're going to be a great momma. You're already looking out for your little one.

Thanks Wanting2Bmom. Each day is a challenge for sure. The sunshine really helps so glad it's been good weather lately. Got a little down last week as just celebrated my 35th birthday and that's when everyone says your fertility goes downhill. Trying to stay positive though!

How are you doing today?