Sorry I don't mean to start a theological debate, neither do I mean to disrespect yours or any one else's beliefs...

I'm glad you take comfort in your faith, but I for my self do not believe in god the way you do, hence I don't believe that He or She (as I choose to see it) can help me at this time.

After having been unable to get pregnant for 3 heartbreaking years, falling pregnant after my first IVF treatment and then loosing my precious baby, I can not see it as the act of an loving God.

What I believe is that we all have lessons to learn, some are harder than others... and while I accept that this is the way it is, I get angry at what you would call God for not allowing me to see clearly the purpose of this journey.

I wish you all the best in the world and hope that your faith sees you through always

I put my faith and trust in God everyday! Everyday I bring my prayers to Him and everyday I feel Him in my life. Without my faith or my God, I would not be able to go through this.
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous hand." This verse helps me everyday. When I am feeling alone or my strength has left me, I look to this verse.
Good luck in your journey and lot of prayers! God Bless!

Lina: The sadness and heartbreak is real, its palpable. Its not something we can turn off, we would if we could. We can make choices about smiling and going outside and trying to keep busy, but the pain is there, always there. I honor my pain, I live in it when its with me and I don't try to pray it away. I know that no amount of wishing is going to make it go away. Time makes it easier to deal with, perhaps thats the lesson, perhaps thats God, perhaps its just the result of practicing living with it for so long. Find whatever you can to help you deal with it, and don't let anyone tell you how you should feel. If you feel angry, be angry, if you feel depressed, be depressed, if you feel sad, be sad. I do believe in a God, but I don't believe that God intervenes as much as we'd like to think. I don't believe that God took your baby, or that God is punishing you, or that God could have controlled your miscarriage. Environment and free will and circumstance plays its role in life after God makes his creation. I do however believe that God is with you, I believe that God wants for you what you want for you, and that God crys with you for your loss. Just don't give up Lina, know that you are loved, and just don't give up.
Marisa

I totally agree with Marisae , everyone here has the right to feel how they do, we are here to listen to everyone and be support not tell people to stop complaining.

I think it's misleading and an untrue portrait of the Lord to say that we will all be mothers one day....and to say that we would have happy, healthy babies.

It may not be God's will for our lives to have children. That doesn't make me delight in God less. God is working in all of our lives through these struggles. He may give us children with disabilities or who grow up with depression...or he may never give us children. That doesn't mean he loves us less or we don't love him correctly. It just is what it is. Seeking God through this is an encouragement and what I believe is the only path. But please don't misrepresent the one true God with a false prosperity gospel.

I also know that God may grant many of us children as they are a blessing from the Lord. I love your enthusiasm for scripture but appropriate use and encouragement is needed.

I agree we should never tell anyone to stop feeling, because feelings can't be turned off like a switch. I do believe that we go thru hard times to learn how strong we really can be.
We need to be here as a support system for those who are experiancing the same thing we are. Keep believing and keep praying but know that we will be here when you do need to vent.

I think the basic thing to bring us back on point is that we are all going through the same thing. BUT that doesn't mean each of us have the same feelings and react to those feelings in the same way. Go with what works for you. If you believe in prayer, then by all means pray. If you believe in fate, that's ok too. Whatever it is that you prefer is ok in this group. We don't need to get into some big debate about the power of prayer or religious beliefs.
I love every woman (and man) in this group and wish nothing but the best for all of us, whatever the outcome.
Wishing you all the greatest love and respect. :)

Hey ladies, When I made the statment "we all will be moms one day & that we will have beautiful, healthy, happy babies. I was speaking from a optimstic point of view. I believe we all can speak things into exsistence, whether it's good or bad. Our tongue is very powerful and they can determine what kind of attitude we will have & where are path may go.

I would never encourage anyone to just turn off their emotions/feelings because it's not possible. And I would never downplay what us ladies are goin thru. Im jus trying to speak hope into somone's life thru God's words & His promises. If someone hasn't tried God's way and depended on his word...try it! It will work...again, not on our time but His time!

God doesn't punish us. He wants us to live life more abundantly. He will intervene if we let him and how much we let him in. We all have gone thru all types of losses and heartache but God never gives us nothin we can't handle. Faith is not based on good things that happen in our lives but do we still have faith and hope despite our despair? Don't give up ladies....

If you don't beleive in God or a spirtual path, thats fine, & it's your choice and keep doin what you've been doin. Im not judging, by all means...I hope that whatever works for you, that you get what you hope for; because we all deserve it...

Im just trying to enlighten whoever reads this and/or recieves it. I do support and encourage all of yall ladies and would never sound ugly toward anyone's situation. Jus showing those who don't know any other way, a way....God's way...God Bless all you ladies....

I'd have to agree with lina on this one. I'm not a religious person, though I have been exposed to many different religions through my life none of them ever "felt" right.

I don't think that a higher power is hanging around waiting to fix our lives if we just believe it. Or that the pain and loss of our lives is "leading" us to something else. We live our lives, make the best we can out of them. And sometimes settle for less than our most precious desires.

After having an ectopic resulting in the loss of my fallopian tube, I didn't curse any god for doing this to me. (Actually I cursed my mom who did drugs when she was pregnant with me) And when my first IVF resulted in a miscarriage I didn't think that it was gods will that I not carry that child. (I believed the doctor who said that my uterus lining was too thin to sustain the pregnancy).

And now finally, pregnant after FET #3 with everything looking great so far, I dont think that god finally decided to allow me this blessing. A team of doctors helped me. My body did what it was supposed to. Its biology, not theology.

I respect peoples religious choices. I think its a very special thing to be able to believe in a higher power. I'm glad it gives comfort and community to so many. I can graciously accept prayers from friends and from my DS sisters. I mean after all, it couldn't hurt. And I send my hopes to those who are going through procedures, or trying naturally, that this time it will work for them. Faith is a wonderful thing, its just not for me.

I wish I had your full resolve of faith, and I hope that makes you feel stronger in it, because you're right.

I'm just able to think of the whole "God helps those who help themselves" and I apply that to my near sterility in effort to relieve the other half of my marital oneness, because I truely believe that while I may deserve this hardship, my husband does not, so I owe it to him to do my very best in our efforts to gain a family.

I actually think you're all right.
The universe is so very infinate that there cannot be one version of right only.

We may all even believe a version of all of these things at any point along our journeys, be it applied to the area of fertility or not.

I just look forward to the knowing future when we know the outcome and are able to continue building a better life, with or without children.

This is a very interesting debate.
Wouldn't life be far easier if we just let God get on with it? Then we'd all be pregnant by now.
Personally, I'm not a very spiritual or religious person but my husband is. This can cause many problems when dealing with this and any other painful situation. When you've just miscarried and someone say's to you "it's god's will"......! Actually, I still don't know why I miscarried but what I do know is that it was my BODY that let me down.

The God you all refer to does not make things all better. If he did, we'd all be pregnant, right? Oh and carry to term too.

I know for sure now that without medical intervention, I wont get pregnant and probably won't carry to term. It just simply won't happen this time round on it's own. I need the meds, the doctors and the surgery and procedures to get through this.

I'm not willing to put all of that to one side and wait for god to decide whether I deserve to live the rest of my life unhappy or to carry to term. I'm leaving it entirely to the medical profession. They are my God.

I will continue to pray for each of you women who like me, only wish to have children or another child of our own. Everyday I will bring that prayer to God.
I value everyone's view and belief, and will not try to push my beliefs on you. What works for you, what is best for you is not what is best for everyone. Continue to support each other the best way you know how, with kind words, an ear to listen and maybe even prayer if that is what you do.

I am so thankful for each of you on this site and the support that you have shown me. So God Bless all of you and I pray and hope that your dream of becoming mothers will come true. Keep strong ladies.