Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Hi everyone, I'm so sad today. My situation may be a bit different than everyone else's. You see, after four years of trying for a baby, four failed IUI's, we were able to finally get pregnant with our first child. In our eighth month into pregnancy, my husband wanted a vasectomy, not because he didn't want the child we were pregnant, but because there's a 9 year age difference (he's older) and wanted to devote his energy and time to the one child we were about to have. I wasn't really in my right mind at 8 months pregnant, after one canceled vasectomy, I agreed we could go through with it. To make a long story short, I regretted the decision while he got the procedure done, and for the last year and half, I've been sad about it. Luckily, he agreed to have a reversal, and at the time the doctor said it was successful. We decided to do IUI again, hoping to have the same luck, but when I was supposed to be insemenated, waiting in a room 15 other people getting that procedure done, I was the aboslute last person to be taken back, and knew something was wrong. The doctor said my husband had little to no sperm count, and it appears as if the reversal didn't work. I left humiliated that they made me wait in the waiting room while person after person went back to get their procedure done, the front desk person was snippy and not nice to me, and they turned the lights off as I was leaving. The doctor basically said our only chance of having another child is going through IVF, which cost-wise, I'm not sure is even an option. For the last week and a half, I held out hope that since we did the trigger shot and femara pills, somehow there was a glimmer of hope that I could be pregnant. Then this morning I got my period. I'm so sad. I cried my whole way to work. The fertility office suggested my husband see a urologist to see if there are any other options, but I wouldnt' have him get another reversal. I'm so sad. It was tough enough for us to get pregnant the first time and I know I should be grateful ( and I am to have one child), I just thought maybe we'd be able to have another child. I'm sad. I keep praying for a miracle. Any support or kind words would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
If it makes you feel better, I have totally cried my eyes out while driving because I got my period... again. So much disappointment. I try to tell myself not to get my hopes up, but how can you not?
Yes, I was hoping the fertility clinic would have handled things differently, but they didn't. I was all ready to send them an email stating how their actions made me feel, but what's the point in that? It doesn't change the outcome of the news I found out.
Sorry to ramble, but thank you for commenting. I have a hard time expressing all my feelings regarding these struggles, since no one I know has gone through the infertility struggles. I hear a lot of "You should be grateful for what you have." It's not that I'm not, but it's hard to express that with people.
It's not that I don't love my sweet boy. I adore him. I am thankful for him. And after three failed IUIs and four failed IVF transfers, I now recognize fully the miracle that he is. But loving him doesn't make it any harder for me to not be able to create the family I had invisioned and the sibling that I desparately want him to have.
I feel the same way you do. I tell myself if I can only have one, I have the best "only" I could have. But I worry that I will always feel sadness because I don't have another child.
Just remember this: wanting to be a mommy to more than one child, to share your love with another miracle baby, to nurture and guide another little human is frankly one of the least selfish desires you could have. Giving life to another human being is not selfish... it's hard work. And for you to want to do that makes you a loving, caring woman.