My first round of IVF I had a chemical pregnancy and my second round I had a miscarriage. Luckily I got frozen embryos from the second cycle and am now 35 weeks pregnant from an FET. Finding the strength to push through was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. After the second loss, I felt lost, sad and angry. My DH and I decided to take a break. I took about 4-5 months off between the fresh cycle and the FET and it was the best thing I ever did. We really needed to find each other as a couple and I needed time to just be normal and not worry about shots and ultrasounds, etc. By the time we were thinking of doing the FET, I felt mentally more stable and like our marriage was stronger than ever. Looking back, it seemed like a long time but I am so grateful we took the time we needed. I know other women on here who have done the same and it was helpful to them. Everyone is different, but take some time for you. Time was the only thing that could heal my broken heart. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you find the strength to keep pushing forward!

I understand how you feel, it happened to me. I had my first successful IVF last September. I miscarriaged at 6w6d, right after my 6 week ultrasound. I was devastated and didn't know ifI would ever, ever be able to do it again. but I did, and I am now 5 weeks pregnant. it makes everything scarier and your'e right - it is harder than women who can get pregnant on their own and miscarry. I don't mean to sound insensitive - it's horrible and heartbreaking for them. but they CAN just "try again" next cycle, and we cannot. so i get it.

I just looked at it like this: if I want a biological baby, then I have to find the strength to do it again. I saw a therapist, took several months off and then just closed my eyes and went for it. what else can we do?

Also, have they done any testing on you as to why you lost the baby?

Sending you a lot of love and am here for you.

I am sorry for your loss!

We got pregnant on our first IVF and miscarried at not quite 9 weeks (although starting at my first us at 6 weeks, we knew things were not looking good). I was devastated. I had not had any make it to freeze, so that was even harder knowing I was going to have to do it all again. For me it took time. I had to get through a lot of stuff mentally to be ready again. It took me basically 6 months. Like Andi, I am glad I took the time I needed before tackling another cycle.

After IVF #2 did not work, it took us another 6+ months to be ready for another.

Here I am 1.5 years later and we just finished IVF#3 (with DE) and I just got my first beta results yesterday and am finally pregnant again. I am scared to death, but taking it a day at a time.

So basically what I am saying is the only thing that gave me strength to push forward was time. Take all the time you need to heal. You will not regret it.

I firmly believe my miscarriage of my first IVF cycle made my body ready to accept another embryo. I miscarried March 23 and I got a really high beta with IVF number two on June 1. So as you can tell I pretty much moved straight into another cycle after a couple months. I mourned my lost pregnancy for a while and then realized that I wanted to grab hold of those natural hormones already in my body. I think the only way to go into a new cycle is to be totally positive, so make sure to give yourself enough time to mourn and then pick yourself back up for the new cycle. Big hugs, you can do this! Just picture the first time you hold your newborn and push through all the pain, it will be worth it!

I've had many rounds of IVF- fresh and frozen- and had two chemical pregnancies throughout my IF journey. I was completely devastated- especially after my second chemical pregnancy. I told my husband that if the next one didn't work, I know my limits, and I needed help. I took some breaks here and there but was still a wreck with my second FET. That FET took and I have a son. I also completed another FET after a year of dealing with an autoimmune disease and that little embryo took as well- I'm 25 weeks with another boy. I know how hard it is to pick yourself back up- I think many of us can relate. I think it's important to give yourself a little time and then keep on going. I also got some comfort with having a plan in place; take two months off and start again, etc. Also, may sound super corny, but I printed out this poem and kept it on my bulletin board- read it often to keep me going. Truly, these words spoke to me. HUGS to you and best of luck...

Dont Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road youre trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but dont you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Dont give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victors cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when youre hardest hit
Its when things seem worst that you mustnt quit.

- Author unknown

I am going thew it as we speak did my first round of IVF this April got 5 weeks along it sucks and its a horrible feeling I cry a lot when am alone :-( we will try again a FET I pray it works !!!!! Losing a baby no matter how far along hurts I am still felling the hurt just this week we are going the it and the doc took me of meds and now am waiting to pass it :-( I am sure I'll cry ass I passing it too :'( got be with you *******Baby Dust *********

I am going thew it as we speak did my first round of IVF this April got 5 weeks along it sucks and its a horrible feeling I cry a lot when am alone :-( we will try again a FET I pray it works !!!!! Losing a baby no matter how far along hurts I am still felling the hurt just this week we are going thew it and the doc took me of meds and now am waiting to pass it :-( I am sure I'll cry as I passing it too :'( god be with you *******Baby Dust *********

Thank you to every single one of you for sharing with me your stories. It's really helped me. I'm still not sure if I'm going to just keep going and power through or have a long break. I'm thinking I might just start trying again the moment the word IVF no longer makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

That being said, it's comforting to know that none of you ever stopped trying and that you are all have or are expecting children. That I think gives me the most hope, that eventually it'll happen. Your stories have actually given me the strength and hope I need. Thank you.

@Courage2010, thank you for that poem. I am going to print it out and have it with me always :)

@rbcurly, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is definitely the worst feeling in the world. I pray for the strength for both of us to get through this time in our lives and hopefully one day our dream to have a child in this life will come true.