Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Hi All,
I am a foreigner living in the Netherlands.I found this group and decided to join this after many many years :-) Not sure why it took me so long. We ( my husband & I ) have undergone IVF with a failed attempt and took a break as it was taking over our lives. We grew closer as a couple , however I had to give up my job of nearly 8 years which I worked very hard and was close to a ' corporate slave ' to say the least ;-). Anyway long story cut short, I thought I had given a closure to many events related to the IVF treatment and many things kept coming back to my surprise and disappointment. I have also had an Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome and I am petrified to go back to IVF.
We have been on a break for more than a year as the last year was full of personal up's and down's with our family members being seriously ill in hospital. thankfully all of that went well. This year when we wanted to go back and I developed cold feet, it nearly felt like an on and off button in my brains & heart telling me .....not to go! We decided not to go back , as I was still adjusting to my life of no job which was very difficult to deal with. I feel I am close to letting go and have been having many emotional outbursts! Has anyone else had this situation and if yes, can someone please advise how one can deal with this? I am also confused as I feel I might be too emotional & don't want to make irrational decisions of stopping the treatment completely but I feel I am close to it........
Many thanks for reading & reaching out !
MiracleHappens
I am a foreigner living in the Netherlands.I found this group and decided to join this after many many years :-) Not sure why it took me so long. We ( my husband & I ) have undergone IVF with a failed attempt and took a break as it was taking over our lives. We grew closer as a couple , however I had to give up my job of nearly 8 years which I worked very hard and was close to a ' corporate slave ' to say the least ;-). Anyway long story cut short, I thought I had given a closure to many events related to the IVF treatment and many things kept coming back to my surprise and disappointment. I have also had an Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome and I am petrified to go back to IVF.
We have been on a break for more than a year as the last year was full of personal up's and down's with our family members being seriously ill in hospital. thankfully all of that went well. This year when we wanted to go back and I developed cold feet, it nearly felt like an on and off button in my brains & heart telling me .....not to go! We decided not to go back , as I was still adjusting to my life of no job which was very difficult to deal with. I feel I am close to letting go and have been having many emotional outbursts! Has anyone else had this situation and if yes, can someone please advise how one can deal with this? I am also confused as I feel I might be too emotional & don't want to make irrational decisions of stopping the treatment completely but I feel I am close to it........
Many thanks for reading & reaching out !
MiracleHappens
An I know people always tell me this and it makes me SO mad because i will have to be told i can't have children before i would go adopt.(just because i have worked so hard for all these years, not because i am wouldn't adopt!!) But that is always an opt. Which you already know that! Best of luck to you!
Btw cute name :-) Thx for the words of encouragement.I am sorry to hear about your situation & hope you get the strength to come out of it !
I still feel very maternal and still get all mushy when I see kids and cry when I feel I am not a mother! So yes the feeling has not gone but I am not obsessed which is good, as obsession of any sort can be bad as it starts ruling your life and I am glad I am over that stage. So true about trying to forget what you can't have and to count your blessings! My husband is my rock and we have started enjoying ourselves as a couple & its like us going back as a newly married couple ;-) We were ruled by the baby making process for 7 years and I feel sad but at the same time I have started appreciating our blessings! Easy to say but it has taken tremendous amount of energy to let go,accept and appreciate the things around!
We have been talking about adoption, however as its gonna be a joint decision, my husband & I have given it a thought but not reached a decision as yet. We are taking small steps this time. At the same time, we still have our frozen eggs ( little prospective babies as we call them :-) and you and I know how much a woman has to work to create the bank of eggs, so not ruling it out completely, however I know its not the right moment. When you don't feel its right , don't go for it........its an intuition ! Thanks for showing your concern and hope all goes well with you as well! I also strongly feel we will have one child in our lives, I keep telling my hubs, I do not know how, but very sure we will !
In the entire process, I have become much stronger and as they say " What does not kill you , makes you stronger " . I want to wish you as well all the best with whatever decision you & your husband make and please do not give up hope & faith! Come what may , try not to lose hope, as that is what which will pick you up from the darkest moments of your life! And surround yourself with positive people , if possible also try to find friends without kids as that also gives you a different perspective and you will not feel incomplete.From my experience it helped me when I took some distance from my friends who have kids. They all know it , so they also respect and give us space! All the best and take care of yourself!
Is the picture you and your husband?
Much love,
MiracleHappens