Right there with you....I think I actually read about the same 14 yr old that says she is ready to have a baby w/ her 15 yr old BF and she is very "mature" for her age.....she has no clue!

I agree, it is hard for me to even go to that group because I get upset everytime I read those posts...I have stayed away from that group for a while now because of it...Please don't think you are the only one that feels that way...It drives me nuts!

Yeah, I know the support group you're talking about. I believe there's a 14, 18, and 19 year old all TTC. They have all though it out completely, of course, and are all mature enough to be mothers. The only one out of high school is 19 but not married or even living with her boyfriend. I hope this is not the case, but chances are, it will take them no time at all to get pregnant. While those of us who are mature, in stable relationships, and can provide for a child, continue to struggle. Life isn't fair.

I have been watching the same group your talking about. One in particular is not living with her Bf and is actually not even in good standings with him but thinks she is pregnant. I try not to read it but I guess I'm just so confused by it that I can't stop looking. I'm not sure why they wouldn't want to bring a child into a stable enviroment. It honestly makes me want to scream!

I'm in that same group and I've been thinking about leaving it. Just becaue I don't think I could stand to see a post from either of those two girls saying I'M PREGNANT!! And I'm sorry but since when does dealing with a child up to the age of 2 considered "raising" her???

I sort of wish I'd had a baby at a young age, and maybe I'm a bit envious of the many reproductive years they still have left.


But like every young person, I thought I knew everything when I was 14,18 and 19; And that I had it all together and that I would wait to have children until I was married, financially secure and had a firm sense of self and indentity, owned a home and had explored the world. And I had the deluded idea that is was ok to wait and start trying for a family well into my 30's. duh!

Well it took me a lot longer to get all that I wanted accomplished and here I sit, almost 40 years old, with no children and the possibilty that I may never have them staring me in the face every day.


So, in one way I can't fault these young women for not waiting, even though they may not be prepared at all,haven't completed their educations, and may not have a pot to piss in or two nickels to rub together, and may not even have a decent man to start their family with, and I say this because women are supposed to have children when they are young, in a biological sense. After all, the science says 7 out my 10 eggs will be abnormal just because of my age. :(

I do have some compassion for them, however I just can't respond to their posts because I just can't resist the urge to lecture them, so instead I just MYOB.


But a big part of me wishes I had been less responsible and less of a pragmatist and had just gotten knocked up the first chance I got. So in a sense I can't really fault these young women, although I can say that they may annoy me for my own reasons.

I hope no one takes what i have said the wrong way!

Ya the 19 year old I think says she think she saw a faint 2nd line. And then in her next post it ssays " I caought him lying to me agian!!!!! It makes me so mad. But i am so glad to hear that almost everyone feels the same way as me. I also want to stop going to the group but its like a train wreck-- you cant look away!!!

Oh my goodness! I guess I haven't paid much attention but you guys have sparked my curiosity! My ex-husband got a 14 year old pregnant. It's still hard for me to this day b/c now they have 3! A girl and 2 boys. He was 24 years old when he got her pregnant and now they are married! YES, I said married. She's not even or BARELY 21 years old and has 3 kids and has been married about 2 or 3 years now. It's hard! I don't know how he didn't spend any time in jail... I wonder that a good bit. I'm sorry... but a 14 year old is not even really old enough to hold down a JOB! Where's the responsibility? OH yeah, they're only 14, 18 & 19. Makes me sad...

it is very hard, especially for those of us who went our whole lives going to school, having a career, using bc, waiting for the "right" time to have a baby ... doing things the "right" way ... then to have failure stare us in the face when the "right" time comes along ... it seems so unfair. Some of those kids don't have a chance.

Ok... I know nothing about these girls you are talking about but.... I just had to put this out there that may make everyone have a little sympathy despite their ages....

My family has a long history of IF and even as young as 8 or 9 when my older sister started AF I saw the effects of ENDO in her. As soon as I started AF (like my first time) I had heavy bleeding for 2 weeks and then 2 weeks off before it started allover again... I went on bc pills like my 3rd cycle..... And this was just the begining

So all this being said I knew at 11 I would have problems getting pg... granted I did not try (in fact still tried not to) until I was in a stable and happy relationship but at 25 I am already diving headlong into IVF sooooooo

Maybe some of these girls have their own reasons... and yet i also feel these girls are making a mistake (and an envious of their persumed fertility) I know that even as young as they are they may have insight into what they are doing.....


This is not to say anyone has to understand or shouldn't be upset by this. I totally understand just a little insight into what a situation could be......

I have to agree with NervousP that we don't know all the reasons why these girls are TTC and should try to deal with them with compassion.


I wasn't ready or wise enough to try to have a family when it is most biologically feasible (20-25 y.o.)and there are people that think I am way to old to begin motherhood, just as these girls are judged as way to young.

However 14 years old is way to young to start a family in any circumstances, and if the 14 year old was my child and was TTC, I would certainly want to know about it.

I tend to think there are underlying emotional and psychological issues that are making the 14 y.o. act out in this manner,and that makes me sad for her because I think she is probably in a lot of emotional pain and so perhaps compassion and an attempt at understanding are certainly in order.

I really hope her parents are attuned to her needs and make an effort to be involved in her life in a positive way, soon.

I understand everyone's feelings who have posted on this issue. Although I personally don't think it is a good idea for any 14 or 15yo to have a child NONE of us are in a position to judge another. None of us have any idea of what any of these gals have gone through in their lives. They could have very deep emotional scars and just want someone to love that is theirs. Again, not that I agree with them having children but for any one of us to sit in judgement of another is being a complete hypocrite! None of us came to DS to be ridiculed and/or chastized. We should show some compassion; remember this is what we expect from from others here...

Although 18 or 19 is really young to become a parent, legally they can go off to war, so why not have a baby? Judge not least you be judged. It is of nobody's business why these young ladies have decided to conceive at such a young age, but they are the ones that will be dealing with the hardships and joys of raising these babies that they are trying to conceive regardless of their marital status or age. I do fight my own battles when I see young girls getting pregnant with intentions of using the aide of the government (our) dollars, but I am giving them the benefit of the doubt that, that is not part of their plans.

As for the fourteen year old, she is still a child. What has she gone through in her short fourteen years that has made her feel that having a baby is the only place that she can feel validated? Obviously if she feels that she has "raised" her 2 yr old sibling, her parents may not be too much in the picture. As a "mature" adult, I do not want to give her a tongue lashing, I wish that I was more able to help her. I pray for her to find peace within herself and for someone to come into her life that can help her. I have not responded to any of her discussions because I am afraid that I would do more damage to this young lady, rather than help. I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling, but it is so sad when we are too busy criticizing others for wanting the same thing in life that we do because we may be having a harder time obtaining it.

I am right there with you ladies! I read some of those posts and if you look at their profiles, they are part of the depression groups, cutter groups, and other groups that require some medical attention. Not that I think for one second someone who struggles with depression can't be a mother -- not at all. But to add ALL of that on top of an age barrier is just asking for trouble. Take the time to grow up, get healthy, and be stable ON YOUR OWN before pursueing a child. It almost seems selfish to me cause they want a baby to make THEM feel loved....it should be the ohter way around. I want a baby I CAN love and raise and care for....not just make me feel good about myself ya know.

The reason i posted the blog in the first pleace is because I go to the group for support and they go for attention. Like many of you mentioned these girls are also in cutter and deppresion groups. They are not in the same place in life as we are. This is a suport group not an attention group. Any 14 year old should know posting a descusion thats head in is "I want a baby" and the first sentence is "Im 14 years old and want a baby," is look for attention. Aslo what is a 14 year old doing having sex.