Get a new friend. I'm sorry, but if she is really that dense, then most likely it's not going to get much better. Can you possibly continue this friendship genuinely without telling her how you feel? I think she needs to know how she's hurt you, and if she decided to take it to heart and change, then the friendship can continue, but if she decideds to continue to complain and play victim then she might be better off at arms length. In the end it's your choice, but when dealing with IF and loss, we have enough sadness in our lives as it is, we don't need others bringing us down.

Im so very sorry for your loss, and even more sorry that your friend turned your sadness into her happiness.

Something similar happened to me recently. My best friend bitched and moaned for about 6 months that she couldn't get pregnant with her 2nd child. She kne all my IF issues and was all nice and seemed concerned and caring so I was always there for her as well when she would come to me crying that it didn't work for her. She even went as far as getting her hormones tested and I never once made her feel that she was over reacting etc. Well sure enough she got pregnant back in July and instead of telling me she backed off, canceled plans we had on a few different occassions and stopped asking how I was etc. Any time i'd bring up IF stuff it's like she didnt' want to hear it and would ignore me. She finally tells me 4 months along that she's pregnant and that she was afraid to tell me. So of course I assured her there was no reason to be afraid to tell me and that in fact I knew she was pregnant since July so I wasn't surprised. Now ever since she's been a BITCH and has been ignoring me. She's been my best friend since highschool and now it's like oh I can't be bothered with you b/c I don't have IF issues like I thought. To make matters worse my twin sister just tells me shes pregnant again and she just had her 1st baby in JUNE! WTF So now I have to listen to her and my best friend talk about how great it is to be pregnant together etc etc . If I were you I'd back away and leave her alone for a bit she's probably hormonal and not thinking clearly. Just be the bigger person in this situation and if she doesn't come around then she's not worth being friends with anymore. I've done the same with my friend and have given up on trying to make plans with her etc. and have just tried to be the bigger person to show her that I am not jealous in anyway. I know it will happen for me one day it's just not now.

I am so sorry for your loss and for having to be on this sucky IF journey!

As for the friend thing....I had a g/f who knew I was struggling for months and yet as we were leaving for her bachelorette party last year she said that her and hubby to be were going to start TTC the month before the wedding. Then she tells me on the drive to her rehearsal dinner that she just gets so sad now everytime she gets her period. (Keep in mind at this point she had tried for a whole freaking month!) Needless to say for that and other reasons we are no longer speaking. Oh and she got knocked up on her honeymoon, her baby is now 2 months old....I on the other hand am still waiting.

Honestly friends like that just aren't worth the heartache at this point!

It can be hard to walk away though, I wish you the best in whatever you decide!

I wish I had better advice to give you but I say either cut her off or tell her how you feel, it really depends on how much the friendship means to you. You are not the only one experiencing this, I've come to realize that people are so insensitive to your struggles and are quick to complain about something without even thinking about what we are experiencing. She seems like a very selfish person and she needs to be told what she's doing!

Thank you all so much for your opinions and support. Funny thing is is that right after I posted this she called and we had a long conversation about how she has hurt me when I was already down. She "seems" to understand but I think that for my own self I will be keeping our friendship at arms length.

This whole experience is awful and at times it makes ME feel like the bad person, like I don't want to be there to talk to my friends when they are experiencing things...then I remember that even before we went through all of this, I had the common sense to be respectful of others feelings, its not that hard!

I hope that we all have happy endings sooner rather than later. For know I just know that this will be my happy place where everyone is going through the same things.

I've had similar reactions from people around me, I think it's impossible for people to even begin to understand what it's like when they haven't been through fraction of what we IF'ers have. I have one friend who is very understanding and has been "trying" for almost a year, using OPKs but has never gotten a positive on them; I keep urging her to go to the Dr. and get help because she's seen what it's like for me, nothing is fast and there is no quick fix. She says that she will wait til she thinks she needs help with it...I try to tell her that by the time she feels that she needs help she will be desperate.

The best person to talk to for me has actually been my dad. He lets me say how I feel and cry when I have to and when I say that it's not fair he just tells me he knows it's not. And when I complain about how expensive it all is, he reassures me that money will never be the reason that I don't conceive because he will not let that be what stops me from getting pregnant.

I really wish I lived closer to some of you ladies because I'd LOVE to get together for lunch or coffee and bitch about all the pregnant women/babies that seems to be incessantly stalking me.

I'm glad you talked to her and told her how you feel. I have definitely weeded out several friends in the past year-ish, and I know many other ladies have here as well. Unfortunately, some people are just self centered assholes and always will be. Your plan sounds solid, and actions speak louder than words, so hopefully she changes her ways. Either way, we will be here for you :)

Redd- your comment about your dad made me cry. Thanks for sharing!

I don't know if this is the "right" thing to do or not but for me personally when I am in a sensative place I tend to put myself first. I want to protect my own heart and feelings. So in this situation I personally would retreat far away from her. I would branch out and find other friends. It really sounds like she is not a 50/50 friend but a taker. Takers and givers in the friendship world don't always mix well. If you don't have a lot to give right now and she is only wanting to take and cause drama on top of everything it's not a healthy situation for yourself.