Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
My infertility journey was started more than 10 years ago. Started in mid 30s. Failed IVF twice, experienced ectopic pregnancy once, ruined relationship once because of it, etc.
Four years ago, my current husband and I decided to try IVF for the last time but turned out I wasn't able to produce eggs anymore, I was 42. When I was just feeling of hopeless, my husband's "daughter", who had never been in his life, contacted him that she wanted to meet him, and so he did. She was 14 at the time. I felt anger, sadness, jealous, all kinds of negative feelings when he brought her home for the first time. After the first meeting with her, he said "she could be our daughter". The words hurt me like I've never felt before and I went into depression for about a week. She was not looking for a mom, she only wanted to know him. I am aware it is so selfish and wrong to hope that my husband doesn't want to continue relationship with her. She is very innocent nice girl who only wants to find out her biological father and I have no right to take that away from her. I am jealous because my husband has a child and I don't. Every time I see her, it reminds of me I don't have a child. I am normally happy and strong person and hated myself feeling this way, so I went to see a counselor. She guided me to the right direction and suggested to be a part of my husband and the daughter relationships. So I did try for the past four years. All we did was having lunch together every 3-4 months and I was hoping this relationship won't go any closer.
She will be 19 this year and she is meeting my husband's family for the first time on this Easter. It is one step forward to their relationship, and I am feeling back to jealous, anxiety, and sadness again.
I hate to feel this way but I can't control how I feel. I talked to my husband about it, but off course he wouldn't really understand and he only thinks I am closed-mind weak person to feel this way. I hope my husband could show me little more sympathy and support, but he thinks I have an issue. He is very strong minded and expects me to be the same. Don't get me wrong, he is a good guy, emotionally attentive and we have a close relationship.
This is why I need to be here with the girls who went through the same experience as I did and asking for your support. I need your help to make him understand it is not easy for some people. Be honest, I can take criticism.
Four years ago, my current husband and I decided to try IVF for the last time but turned out I wasn't able to produce eggs anymore, I was 42. When I was just feeling of hopeless, my husband's "daughter", who had never been in his life, contacted him that she wanted to meet him, and so he did. She was 14 at the time. I felt anger, sadness, jealous, all kinds of negative feelings when he brought her home for the first time. After the first meeting with her, he said "she could be our daughter". The words hurt me like I've never felt before and I went into depression for about a week. She was not looking for a mom, she only wanted to know him. I am aware it is so selfish and wrong to hope that my husband doesn't want to continue relationship with her. She is very innocent nice girl who only wants to find out her biological father and I have no right to take that away from her. I am jealous because my husband has a child and I don't. Every time I see her, it reminds of me I don't have a child. I am normally happy and strong person and hated myself feeling this way, so I went to see a counselor. She guided me to the right direction and suggested to be a part of my husband and the daughter relationships. So I did try for the past four years. All we did was having lunch together every 3-4 months and I was hoping this relationship won't go any closer.
She will be 19 this year and she is meeting my husband's family for the first time on this Easter. It is one step forward to their relationship, and I am feeling back to jealous, anxiety, and sadness again.
I hate to feel this way but I can't control how I feel. I talked to my husband about it, but off course he wouldn't really understand and he only thinks I am closed-mind weak person to feel this way. I hope my husband could show me little more sympathy and support, but he thinks I have an issue. He is very strong minded and expects me to be the same. Don't get me wrong, he is a good guy, emotionally attentive and we have a close relationship.
This is why I need to be here with the girls who went through the same experience as I did and asking for your support. I need your help to make him understand it is not easy for some people. Be honest, I can take criticism.
I think he has no idea what I go through, really. He has his kids, and he doesn't quite understand why I ache over the fact that I don't have kids, not really, I will never be their mother, and I may well never be a mother at all.
I'm sorry you're going through this too. It's hard not to feel sad and jealous. Hugs.
Our feelings aren't invited in to our bodies, they just happen. So hard to take control. I'm very self critical so beat myself up for feeling angry and jealous but can now see I'm not the only one that feels this way. But for some reason I understand why everyone else feels that way but think its not ok for me !? So my limitied advice is stay on here and soak up the love, advice and comraderie and we will help to get each other thru our tough times, its the only thing that makes me feel better. Everytime I log off I feel human again and relieved. Stay strong, you are a good person x
Talking about this with people who went through the same experience definitely helps. I do tell people around me that I made peace with not having a baby, but deep down I am not completely over it.
I wish the ladies here in Infertility Support Group the best luck for conceiving and don't wait too long to have a baby like me.