When the doctor called me several years ago and said we would need to do IVF for a mixture of male and female IF, I completely FREAKED out. I was in my bathroom getting ready for work, and I just started crying and throwing everything in the bathroom. I had a complete meltdown. I went to several other doctors to try and get a different answer and some tried to help us conceive in other ways and now we are getting ready to do our first IVF next month. I still can't believe that it has to be this way though. My nerves at this point are SHOT!

I expected a hard time being that I had an ectopic and lost 1 tube many years prior. I still get the comments of take a vacation and relax because I don't tell everybody everything. It sucks that conceiving has to be so expensive and emotionally/physically draining. And I had so many great plans on telling hubby and family that are just not possible.
But I look at the pluses... I get an u/s pic the day they transfer embies back. And sometimes I can get a pic of the embryos... A story only few get to share. And I am doing what I can to keep the surprise element like buying cute little things that say 'daddy' or that my hubby would love and hiding them away so I can 'surprise' him. Nobody in my hubby's family knows we are doing IVF again. So we can at least surprise them if/when it ever happens!

Yeah I was totally devastated. It blindsided me. My RE had been doing tests on me and everything was coming back great. i had just finished up another test when he stopped me in the hall- he had the results of my DH's sperm sample and it wasn't good. He tried to reassure me, "Its really ok though, you can still be a mom- we can do IVF" it was anything BUY reassuring. it felt like a death sentence. How do i go home and tell my husband he is the problem? it was the hardest time of my life and learning to accept it was a long process. However, i hope it brings you some hope and comfort to know that I am exactly one week away from my due date with a baby girl! once I came to accept things we pursued IVF and it worked on the first try for us, we were so lucky! I thought that i was going to be giving up so many of the things i dreamed about- like you- the romantic ideas- how i would tell my surprised husband, surprising our families etc. and it was nothing like that. it was a lot of work stress and money. BUT- there were all kinds of things that were SO cool in a different way, that many others never get to experience. We go to see our baby as a blastocyst! we got to watch her be injected into me! we got to take the HPT together at home and shared the most beautiful moment together- knowing all that went into it made it all the sweeter. DH has been way more involved than he would have been otherwise and we have grown so much in our marriage though it. We had so many praying for us- and while it would have been fun to surprise them, i was even more fun sharing the news that it worked and their prayers had been answered! I wouldn't wish IVF on anyone, and i wouldn't choose it for myself either- but there have been a lot of blessings in unique ways that came from it! hang in there, things will get better;-) message me if you have any questions!