Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Deeply desiring a baby for the past 10 years. Actively ttc the past 5 years. I've cried so many tears over negative pregnancy tests over these past 5 years that I had given up and I sunk into a deep depression.
I struggled spiritually with the idea of fertility treatment for a long time. I just prayed. A lot. But with my husbands support, I came around to the idea and sought out help. Turns out he has a very low sperm count. I have PCOS. We started cycle 1 last month. Progesterone to make me have a cycle, clomid 5 days, shot in the belly, then iui, then the 2 week excruciating wait. All doing a serious number on me physically, hormonally, and emotionally. But there was hope. I bought a cradle and a bassinet and a rocking chair to go in the babys room. That negative pregnancy test broke my heart. And I thought I was at rock bottom with grief and experiencing the worst AF of my life. Somehow got myself out of bed for church, get there and they are doing baby dedications with these little newborns. It takes everything I have to focus on not crying. That was the longest most brutal church service of my life. That was yesterday, mothers day. I got home and cried myself to sleep.
I started round 2 of clomid last night. But honestly, I stopped praying for a baby. My prayers go like this "please God make me stop wanting a baby" I just can't even... I'm only doing this round for my husband but all it really is is torment. I dont even want a baby anymore. There's no one I know who understands.
I think it's called despair.
I struggled spiritually with the idea of fertility treatment for a long time. I just prayed. A lot. But with my husbands support, I came around to the idea and sought out help. Turns out he has a very low sperm count. I have PCOS. We started cycle 1 last month. Progesterone to make me have a cycle, clomid 5 days, shot in the belly, then iui, then the 2 week excruciating wait. All doing a serious number on me physically, hormonally, and emotionally. But there was hope. I bought a cradle and a bassinet and a rocking chair to go in the babys room. That negative pregnancy test broke my heart. And I thought I was at rock bottom with grief and experiencing the worst AF of my life. Somehow got myself out of bed for church, get there and they are doing baby dedications with these little newborns. It takes everything I have to focus on not crying. That was the longest most brutal church service of my life. That was yesterday, mothers day. I got home and cried myself to sleep.
I started round 2 of clomid last night. But honestly, I stopped praying for a baby. My prayers go like this "please God make me stop wanting a baby" I just can't even... I'm only doing this round for my husband but all it really is is torment. I dont even want a baby anymore. There's no one I know who understands.
I think it's called despair.
So Id got my fair share of disappointing/depressing times those past few years. I just wanted to pop in and say that seeing a therapist was incredibly helpful to me. I was seeing my therapist before I started IF treatments. (I suffered from depression and was on meds). Her support had been invaluable! (Were currently passing our IVF with donor eggs in Ukrainian Biotexcom clinic, dx diminished ovarian reserve, me 41 yo).
I think having a good therapist is like having an amazing friend who gives great unbiased advice. It's really nice to have someone to vent to when its not your dh or mom. She also helped me keep things in perspective. You can "interview" a few therapists to see if they have any experience with IF, what their methods are, etc. After that, it's just a matter of figuring out if you feel comfortable enough with them to be honest with them and yourself.
Good luck and hang in there!
Wish you good luck with your next cycle X