Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Sorry long story...
So im 27 my husband and I had been trying for almost 2 years to get pregnant before we decided to seek help. Obviously we hadn't been successful so I wanted answers. We found out his sperm count was low and one of my tubes was screwed. I'm even going to have to have one removed.We talked to the Dr and came to the conclusion that we were going to have to go through IVF in order to conceive! Of course we were devastated, shocked, scared, literally experiencing every emotion possible. Its alot to take in at 27. I didnt know whether to be upset and cry or be excited because we at least have an option. It's not like there wasnt hope. I didnt really know how to handle the news bc I never thought I would be that girl, the one whose body is "messed up"! I always thought it would be easy and we would have a big family! Ha who knew we'd be where were at today, meeting with a fertility specialist. My husband and I talked about it and I'm finally okay with having to go through IVF. Am i nervous YES. But we'd do anything in the world to have a baby. I'd do anything to be a mom. Little did I know though that this would probably be the most difficult, emotionally draining thing I'd ever have to go through. People asking ALL the time when were having a baby and isnt it about time yall start having kids! If only they knew. I literally have days where I just cry bc so many people that I know are having babies and posting their cute pictures. I cry everytime I see a new Facebook pregnancy announcment! Sometimes I just cry just bc. And then I have days where I'm pissed at the world. Why me? I'm excited to start this journey but I'm scared bc what if the IVF doesn't work. I've gotten my hopes up so many times with thinking I'm pregnant, just to be let down again and again.. I know god has a reason for all this madness and I do believe he has a plan for us.. but emotionally I'm drained.
For those of you who have already been through this, what are some things you did to help you cope? Lately I've been having a really really hard time emotionally and I just need some friendly advice on how to handle all these emotions.
I'm 30 and I currently am on the second day in my IVF cycle. I have done 4 medicated IUI cycles prior, so it definitely prepared me a bit for the meds and what to expect, so please feel free to contact me for any help; I'm an IVF newbie but I've literally researched the hell out this at this point lol. I have been trying for two years and after a year sought help which led to all the tests, a hysteroscopy, and then we decided to do IUI with no luck. We decided this June we were going to do IVF and the week I was expecting my period to start IVF, I got the shock of my life when a faint line appeared, only to have lost the pregnancy a few days later. My nurse said we could still do IVF this cycle and had a night to decide. But I am tired of the waiting and want to be aggressive and pursue the best available option at this point. So here I am!
I completely get the roller coaster of emotions. Before going through all this, I never was the "Why me" person, but more than ever I ask that question and sometimes feel selfish for it. But i always remind myself its ok to be selfish right now and have these moments and its ok to scream and feel insane about all if this - because it is insane. Ugh and the social media - sometimes I want to just be like you have no idea how lucky you are! There are so many things that constantly bring you back to thinking about what you're going through and it is so damn hard.
As far as coping, i think it's important to be kind to yourself, and if there is something you feel you don't want to do socially, allow yourself to duck out. I forced myself into so many situations only to come home and just completely meltdown and be exhausted for having to grin and bear. It's sometimes not worth it. I also try really hard to do fun and nice things with my husband - you're going through it together and need time to do things that make you feel happy and get your mind away from all of this. I also did yoga at night (prior to IVF) which helped with calming my mind before bed. Also, this one is hard for me to admit, but I started writing a journal which consists of both notes to my future baby and just basically a diary of everything I feel. The notes were at first super difficult to start writing (mostly just addressing a baby and I felt really crazy), but having an outlet to write all my crazy emotions down - and I mean everything - has been helpful. It gets really lonely when you don't have a physical person who completely understands this, so I feel it's been a good outlet for me. But most of all, just allow yourself to be and don't ever be ashamed for feeling down and hurt and defeated. You got this.
Anyway, now that I've rambled on, just know you are a really strong person. I know it's hard to remember when there's so many tough emotions to battle through and you can feel knocked down. But you have support here and people who really do understand this. I am wishing the best for you and again, don't hesitate to message if you have any questions. Deep breath and a huge hug to you X