I'm the same way, I know I can't get pregnant but every time my period is a little late,I get my hopes up. Then I start to grieve all over again and get mad at myself for being so stupid. I'm still stuck on this ride with you, I know I just have to give it time to finish grieving the loss of my dream of a baby.

Oh man. Similar thing here. Dealing with low sperm count and even though we were told based on the numbers there's really no way we'll get pregnant naturally, I always read into symptoms before my period and if anything is different, I can't help but hope. I keep thinking that God works miracles, right?? Well, it's been 2 years and nothing. My heart breaks every single time I get my period. My husband doesn't fully get it, unfortunately. I try to stay strong and keep up my mood, but I'm nothing short of devastated each and every time. That's....12 x 2 = 24 heartbreaks. The next always a little worse than the last. At 34 and trying for 2 years, I'm wondering if I'm getting too old myself. On top of everything else, my husband and I both have anxiety...his is specific to anything medically related. So, in other words, the IVF process is going to be close to impossible for him to participate in :-\ It seems like we hit obstacles everywhere we go...

I don't think I'll ever be able to give up the dream of having a baby with this man... I really don't know how I'll manage to come to terms with not having one at all, but honestly, that reality is coming more and more real everyday....

I feel your pain, BeBrave

The worst part is...sometimes I think my husband would be fine not having any kids.

I don't know about anyone else on here, but having kids seems to be the whole point, doesn't it? The ultimate creation?

I'll be honest and say that I do have a son from a previous marriage, but because of my ex's court bullying tactics and my family buying into it, I rarely see my son...even though I'm gainfully employed as a teacher, own my home in a safe neighborhood, rarely drink, and have never been involved with drugs. So, that along with not being able to have a second child with my new husband seems like cruel and unusual punishment. Would God really just not want me to be a mom??

In any case Doremi123, I have no idea how to get over false hope. I really don't. And if there comes a day that I can no longer hope, I'm afraid I'll lose all sense of self as well.

Yes I know how you feel. My husband and I are in the same boat. He has virtually no sperm and i have PCOS. but Doremi123, there are ways you can still have a baby with low sperm counts. It requires taking medications (which we are just starting) and maybe IVF. There is hope Doremi123, it all just takes time and accepting the low sperm count. Ask your infertility specialist about the next steps.

You're not alone. My husband has low morphology. We've been told he can take vitamins/antioxidants, but it probably won't change. Every month that something different happens to my body, I think this will be the month. Recently, I've tried to suppress those thoughts so I wouldn't be disappointed. The first sign of AF, my heart drops. I told my husband last month even though I've experienced all of the stages of grief, I'm struggling with acceptance because I can't give up hope yet.

We've been to the infertility clinic and the dr pretty much said that the only real options were AI or IVF with donor sperm. Unfortunately.....On a positive note I've started seeing a therapist to work through the greiving process.