All you can do is ask for forgiveness to any one you openly hurt. I have had these feeling before and It took me longer to get pregnant carrying all that hate. You will always have people that will judge you for something your hair your clothes. Whatever they can find to hate you for they will. I had a friend that was upset that I was pregnant with my daughter and I never knew it until recently and yes it hurt me so bad to hear it. She told me she cried and yelled at her hubs when he told her I was. Cause our men at the time were best friends. She said she said so what I don't f$#^%&% care. That she is and then she said she cried all night. this hurt me so bad and now I'm gonna be alot more leery of telling people when I'm preg.

I don'tthink it is about judging someone else. I think it is about seperating ourselves from those situations in which we feel awful because we are beating ourselves up.

I know exactly what you mean. I'm not the type that turnes on my friends for being successful, but I know many do. When I read the posts like you were explaining I just read but don't add my 2 cents. I may not agree with it but I totally get it. If it helps at all I had some of the same fears. I have been prego for 10 weeks and have not experienced any back lash from the ladies here. Only encouragement. I'm so happy you get to try again, and it sounds like you're confident which is wonderful. Good Luck.

Those who truly care about you will be thrilled to hear your good news.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have been TTC for years and since I am now 39 I have watched all of my friends become pregnant - sometimes twice or three times. It took much strength to push back my jealousy and resentment. My friends' joy was natural and not meant to hurt me. I know they tried in their own way to be supportive, even if they said stupid things at times! For me, I realized that it was not helpful for me to hate or resent anyone who was pregnant. that does not mean that it was not painful, but for me it was important to reconize where that pain comes from - infertility not my friends' pregnancies. As for this site, I think the vast majority of the women on here will be happy for you if you get that BFP. I think as long as you make sure you are sensitive, you will be amazed at how they will all share your joy and be there if things don't go well. Take care sweetie, and I hope you get that BFP and continue to grow as a person.

ONE PERSON ON DS SEEMS TO LIKE TO WRITE COMMENTS THAT HURT WHEN A NEW BFP COMES AROUND. SHE IS OUT OF HER MIND!! I DO NOT FEEL THAT ANYONE SHOULD HAVE ANY SHAME WITH A NEW BFP... YOU WILL NEED TO CELEBRATE AND WE WILL CELEBRATE WITH YOU!!

I am someone who has dealt w/ jealousy but it was jealousy over people who become preg & are not even happy about it & who weren't even trying. So why was I jealous of that? Wouldn't I be thrilled to be pregnant...& wouldn't I want to be. Once you realize that you can't envy people b/c everyone has their own garbage you are okay. I can tell you that there is one person I know who just got pregnant & she was worried I'd be upset b/c she really hard time w/ jealousy. I just explained that I know her struggles to get pregnant...how could I possibly NOT be happy for her? She gives me such great hope....I still talk to her about everything & I'm so blessed to have her in my life. I know it's not easy but try to think of the inspiration you will be to other people going thru infertilty.

I used to be one of those people worried about what other people thought. Finding out that I was being walked all over. Took me a long time to get over that, but I think you should only concern yourself with what's good for you. If someone judges you in your personal life- eliminate them from your life. I couldn't care less about people judging me online! Do what's best for you, it's ok to be selfish!

You are in a wonderful position to understand that very resentment and jealousy, and know that it comes from a place of hurt and not because you (or anyone else) intends to harm others or their feelings. So, if someone treats you with jealousy/resentment, or withdraws from you, don't take it personally--just understand where it comes from and in being understanding you will feel more at peace with yourself. That's my advice--try to turn it into something positive.

I've often wondered the same thing, although at this point I have so little hope left that I will ever get pregnant that I stopped worrying about it. I am at at a place in my life right now where I am avoiding friends who are pregnant or have babies, and the jealousy and resentment I feel is probably some of the most hateful, childish, self-destructive feelings I have ever had to deal with. I struggle with it every single day and it makes me feel ugly inside, but I can't seem to get past it. Sorry, I guess this post isn't exactly an answer to your question. One thing I would certainly NOT do if I ever get pregnant - e-mail everyone monthly ultrasound pictures of the baby. when I get those it's like someone just punched me in the stomach and I start to cry - it's one of the most painful things to look at for me. Those pictures would only be for people who asked to see them - because you never know who is suffering from infertility but is keeping it a secret (like I am).

I SAY PRAY SO THAT YOU CAN FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR TREATING OTHERS HARSH. I DONT BELIEVE ANYONE WOULD TREAT YOU BADLY I JUST THINK YOU FEEL THAT WAY BECAUSE YOU CANNOT FORGIVE YOURSELF. INFERTILITY IS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS EMOTIONALLY A PERSON CAN GO THROUGH. DONT FORGET THAT AND DONT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.

I hope I don't offend anyone or hurt anyone's feelings or more so piss them off with what I have to say.

I have suffered from infertility for 2 1/2 years and am in my 2ww from IVF. I understand the pain that not being able to get pregnant brings. However, sometimes I read posts on here and the same ladies that I feel so much love and support from I also feel are jealous and selfish whenever it comes to someone getting pregnant.

Just because we are having a problem conceiving does not mean that the rest of our family and friends are going to put their lives on hold and not have babies until we finally get pregnant. It is unfair of us to even assume or wish that they would do this.

I am not saying that it does not hurt a little when someone close to me gets pregnant, but the joy I feel for that person is much greater than any hurt or jealousy that I may feel.
I feel like some ladies on here are having such a pity party when they find out someone is pregnant. It is usually directed at someone in their personal life, not on DS. Women are always supportive of the DS ladies and their BFP. The fact is that we are having problems getting pregnant, we have to come to terms with that and deal with it. We can not continue to skip out on baby showers or not go see our friends new babies because it just hurts..we have to be strong and be there for our friends and family. Once we get pregnant, how are we going to feel when people dont show up to help us celebrate because we have skipped out on all their pregnancy moments. We have to quit letting infertility makes us the victims. Our friends are not having babies to hurt us.

I look at infertility as a disease. Ive never seen a friend or family member with cancer not come to Christmas with their family because this might be the last year and they are jealous that everyone else will probably have one next year. Or a cancer patient that does not want to see their friends get a clean bill of health because they are having to go in for chemo 3 times a week and feel like crap all the time.

I pray that each of us get BFP very soon, and those of us that have gotten BFP that you all deliver healthy babies and that they finally feel your lives are complete. God has a plan for each of us and we have to make use of the fertility treatments available, because we have to do all we can do to help ourselves. God has given us these resources and it is all part of our journey. However, all the fertility treatments in the world are useless until God decides it is time. God is in control but that doesnt mean we are not all hurt when we find out once again that we are not pregnant.

Ok, sorry I got up on my soapbox ladies, I have never done that on here before. Maybe it is the prometrium and maybe it is the fact that today is my 30th birthday and I dont like birthdays. ? However, Ive felt a lot of these things when reading other posts and have just tried to understand and not open my big mouth.

All this stuff being said, each of you has been a great support system and I could not deal with all the infertility treatments and let downs without each of you!!

First of all focus on you and your health right now. You remind me of me. It is as though we always have something to stress about. Please don't worry about what others think. Don't waste your energy because at the end of the day the only thing we have control over is our fellings and thoughts. Yes there may be some people in the world that are jealous of you when you are pregant. For all you know there are people who are currently jealous of you for many reasons. That doesn't mean you are going to leave your husband, move or change jobs because people are jealous of your life situation. Please know that your reaction to your friends in the past was natural. I'm sure your good friends are still in your life and understood that you just needed time. I'm sure if a frined of your becomes jelous of your pregnancy you will give them the time and space that they need. I pray that you do become pregant and go forth to deliver many healthy babies. Please try to focus on minimizing your stress. It is the best thing you can do to imrpove your chances of becoming pregnant.

I think when you have been dealing with IF it is very naturally to isolate yourselves from those who are pg. It may just hurt too much on some days. I have 2 very close friends who are pg right now. I am very happy for them and they are wonderful people and will make wonderful mothers. I try to be there for them as much as I can but some days I just can't get into all the pg details and they understand. I don't think you should be worried about being judged. There may be people around you in your previous situation who may be jealous of the fact that you are pg but your true friends will always be happy for you and that is all that matters. I will say that sometimes hearing about someone getting pg easily is what hurts me the most and makes me feel like this is unfair but instead of taking it out on that person who obviously doesn't deserve my rage, I come here to vent and cry and scream as you ladies know what I am feeling and will not judge me.