i have been dealing with infertility for over 5 years now and when i first found out that i would not be able to become pg naturally i became incredibly jealous of those who could become pg so easily and continuously bragged about their kids. i let the jealousy take over me and began to shut out people who were pg from my life. i also started to hate them, wouldnt talk to them, and would have nothing to do with their children. it took me over 2 years to get over this and finally accept the fact that having a child would mean that i would have to work very hard for it and that god has other plans for me. i was finally able to get over my jeolousy and started looking into adoption and fostercare. pretty soon i realized that that is what i was meant to do in my life and if i were able to become pg easily then i would have missed the opportunity to provide a loving home for all of the children we have had. i have decided to do ivf because of the fact that my husbands benifits changed and we are able to have infertility benifits so we decided to give the fertility treatments one more try since we now have the resources to afford it again. the thing that bothers me though is that i have read some of the post on here about people who have had or currently have jealousy and resentment twards people who are pg and it bothers me that i may be treated with jealousy and resentment once i become pg. maybe not by you people at these boards because you know of the long journey that i have had to go through and the difficulty and heartache that i have had to endure but by others who may not know how long it took me to finally get to this point and finaly have a baby. i worry about being judged as harshly as i have judged others in the past.
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