Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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How to cope with IF after miscarriage

lina2008
lina2008
Hi all,

As some of you may remember, after four long years of battling Unexplained infertility, I conceived through I IVF, only to latter to find out I had lost my baby at our 12wk scan back in April. I can say with all certainty that these have been the worse 5 months of my life and everyday seems like an uphill battle.

I am now off all meds but herbs, as we used up all our frozen embies (one didn't take and the other didn't get passed thawing) and I can't afford another fresh cycle at the moment and probably until late next year. short of it all is that I am really struggling to come to terms with it all.

I just can't get my head around my IF at the moment, its only a month till my due date and the fact that I haven't been able to conceive since loosing my squishy is killing me. I feel like such a failure, not only do I battle with unexplained infertility for four years, but I also miscarry and can't get pregnant again.

to make it worse some people say to me, oh well at least you got pregnant or even worse, my family seem to think that because I got pregnant, I will be able to gain...

I don't know what to do I feel like such a failure!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry for your loss. You are not a failure! It isn't like you did something that caused this. These things are out of our control and unfortunately they do leave reasons. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your little angel. Do what you have to keep moving forward. I will be praying for you and your DH.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry for you loss too...and for how sad and lost you are feeling. It's hard to stay positive after all you've been through, and others that aren't struggling with IF just don't seem to know the right thing to say. I really hope you find some peace and comfort soon...just keep reaching out to those that you know can help you (like us on DS). Take time for yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help.
duane
duane
I am so sorry for your loss. I had an early M/C at 6 weeks a couple of weeks ago, but it does not make it any easier. My first M/C was at 14 weeks.
At some point it will happen. When and How I do not know...but your will be holding a lil one in your arms.

I also get irritated with friends and family who keep saying...well it happened once...it could...they are only trying to help. Really they do not know the hardship or had to go throught IF.
You need to greive your loss and give yourself time and pampering.
I will be praying for both of you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Going through infertility is horrible and then to go through a loss on top of that is truly devastating. I'm so sorry. I know your pain well. My first IVF cycle was successful but ended in a stillbirth and it about killed me (emotionally I was wrecked). But you can't give up hope. Save your money and when you can then you have to keep trying. I know it's difficult to hear people say things like, "You got pregnant once, you will again," but I really feel like those were the things I needed to hold on to because it was true. You can get pregnant and even though it's scary, you need to stay as positive as you can and take care of yourself mentally & physically so that when you can do IVF again (in a year or two or three) then you'll be in a good place for success, and who knows what will happen in that time.

Keep moving forward and don't give up hope. You can do that!! Big hug!!