I totally get it. I am getting my master's in counseling, and I found that while I was going through IVF and FET I went back and forth to not being able to concentrate on my work and school, and then at other times it was a welcome distraction. As for the buying a house, that is a hard one. If IVF doesn't work, do you guys have plans to become parents other ways? When DH and I were buying our house, I bought a home fit for a decent sized family. Even if we never had children, it's big enough to entertain, and I can offer a place for my friends/family to stay. If you fill the rooms with children instead, then that's an extra bonus :-) Good luck!

I totally understand! This journey has made me put so much on hold, or has made it hard to make any plans in life. It's annoying. Only you can decide what to buy for a house, or to do with work, but I find the answers get revealed as time goes on. Priorities change, and you make decisions based on them.

For us, we bought a house that would be good for us forever. Kids or not (eventually, they will move away). We do expect to have kids, even if we have to foster to adopt, so for us that part was answered. We just got a Cape, so it's small, but big enough. The other things that keep us on hold are things that involve time off, or activities. I like to do mud runs, and other non-pregnant friendly things, so I have not signed up for anything and I feel stupid for it. But, I honestly figured I would be pregnant when those races finally came up. I also can't plan to visit my sister in Arizona (still) because I made need to save my time off to care for a baby, or for IVF. So I have still not visited her. Then there comes the financial side of it. Do I get a new job that covers IVF, do we save to pay on our own. Do we turn down plans to save money for IVF, or can I get my company to cover it? So much is in limbo with all of this, and I am a planner myself, so it's hard.

I guess the positive side of this, is that I have been better about going with the flow. I know that with work, I can do what I need and work it around IVF even if I have to tell my boss. And through all of this, I have done great at work.. it's a good distraction.

I'm sure you will find that you can still do what you want in your life, you may just have to shift priorities for a while while to work on the family building. People do it all the time. It's hard to see how you will too till the time comes. But, you will do just fine!!

I think that is a very good question and it's one I find myself wondering quite a bit. We have an appointment next week with our RE and we figure IVF is our next step. In the meantime my husband is having a crazy year work wise and really needs a vacation so we planned one anyway, even though I was reluctant at first because I was thinking that we should save for IVF especially since travel will be involved but I agree that you have to live your life. I am also a planner and IF is not easy to plan for given all the uncertainty. I keep telling myself that while IF can feel like a long road, it's really just a bump in the road when I look at the big picture so I think all we can do is our best. That means there will be times when the other things like work and furthering our education serve as good distractions and other times when it may all seem like too much of a juggling act. I hope that IVF works for you and you have some answers to your questions soon and hopefully it will all fall into place.

I hear you, I am not a planner by nature I just go with the flow, but sometimes IF even prevents you from doing that!! For example, my boss quit and I was the natural choice for his job but I wasn't sure whether to apply what with IVF coming up 5 months after he left but I did and was gutted when they hired a girl I trained and who'd been there half the time I had. (maybe because word had got out about IVF) now I am stuck with a rubbish boss, rubbish new staff which she picked and still no embryo replacement nearly a year later. I've been saying for over a year that I cant leave work because I'll lose my maternity leave, but by now I could have left and earned maternity leave somewhere else!!
On top of this my brother is getting married in England ( I am in NEw Zealand) in September and I cant even tell him if i'll be able to make it or not, Its a killer!!!

I have been planning as if I am not pregnant and hoping that I will have to go to plan B where I am. I plan dive trips, take on more at work, etc. So many people get pregnant and have to re-adjust their workload. I'd rather cross that bridge when I come to it so I am not stuck with less work and not pregnant. As far as the house goes, that sounds really tricky. If you can afford to have a larger space, I'd go for it, so you don't have moving stress if you do get pregnant. good luck! I hope you find balance.

I totally get it also. I had a couple of friends invite me to do a 60 mile breast cancer walk in September of last year. It was January and I was doing IVF the next month. It is a huge commitment because you have to raise a ton of $ and if you don't, you either can't do it or have to pay the difference yourself. I said no because I might be 8 months pregnant by then. I did get pregnant but miscarried. Then I was so sad to not participate with the girls. It is 1 in 100 things I have turned down because I might be pregnant later. I really started to get sick of it. We bought a 4 bedroom house about the middle of our IF struggle but before we thought we would have to do IVF. After our BFN in July I didn't know if we would ever have children and told DH I would want to move if we decided not to keep going because I couldn't keep looking at those empty rooms. Like Nellygirl said, if you think you will pursue other means to have kids then get the bigger house. If you aren't sure, honestly I would wait. Save the money by continuing to rent because most people get a more expensive mortgage than their rental and also maintenance. You will just be able to save more to help with potential IF treatment and/or down payment! Good luck!

I am scared about IVF. My husband thinks it is crazy. He doesn't know how I feel about this. He just thinks it should happen naturally. I am 31 years old, and I have never been pregnant, never been on birth control. I have done all the test everthing is normal. My pituitary levels are a little high, and I am on meds. for that. I did had a scan on my pituitary gland it is normal. I am just want to start a family.