Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Hi. I am very new to this. I'm used to dealing with this alone. Don't get me wrong, I have family that tries and a wonderful husband that's there to comfort me whenever I need it. But, no one understands this. I always feel so empty. Most little girls want to be princesses or a ballet dancer when they were little, but I.. I've always wanted to be a mommy. Oh, I have always been in love with children. They're so pure, and innocent. I could spend my days surrounded by children and never grow stressed, or bored. I love the beautiful chaos they bring! So naturally, when I got married at 23, I was ready to be a mom! To my horror, my body had other plans for me.
Isn't this supposed to be why us women are made? To conceive a child and nurture them into the world? This is supposed to be the most natural thing to happen to a woman. So WHY is it not happening for me? Why is it SO easy for woman, or even GIRLS who don't even want this precious gift, to get pregnant? Ive tried for 7 years. I've kept a positive attitude, tried not thinking about it, taken pills to help the process, and have been poked and prodded to no end. Why does this have to happen to me? Why cant I have the ONE thing I've wanted my whole life? I hate feeling like this. I can't even be happy for my best friend who just found out that she's expecting. Instead I feel jealousy, and sadness.
I'm sorry to rant, but no one around me understands.
As for why it happens, it just is. I think that's the hardest thing to accept really. It's human nature to want to know why, it give us control. Unfortunately this is something that can be controlled as easily as our sex ed teachers led us to believe. Some women can get pregnant while on the pill and using barrier protection while some can't get pregnant on fertility meds or paying thousands for IVF. It's cruel and unfair. Such is life.
It's absolutely maddening and crazy making. And as much as our partners sympathize they can't really know how it feels. It's quite difficult for anyone to really understand what it feels like to feel betrayed by your own body until you get there.
As for the jealousy and sadness? Completely 100% normal and valid. The important thing is to give yourself space and emotional consideration. If you feel yourself getting upset at someone else's baby announcement? Excuse yourself for the the room and give yourself a breather. If you don't feel up to going to a friend's baby shower? Don't. Explain if you have to that you emotionally can't take it right now and just ship a present. If they are a friend worth having they will understand. Take time to emotionally nurture yourself. Take a bubble bath, or get a pedicure or whatever self care helps. You are allowed your emotions. You can't expect yourself to be positive 100% of the time, it's okay and completely normal to be sad, angry or frustrated occasionally. If it gets too much talking to a trusted friend or perhaps a therapist could help.
Just know you are not alone in this and it's actually a much more common problem than people realize. There's a whole slew of women routing for you who are in the exact same boat.