Infertility is the hardest thing I've ever been through. I'll be 34 September 15th. I haven't had the opportunity to do IVF because mt boyfriend of 4 years won't get a sperm analysis. I began to have a feeling in my early 20s that I couldn't conceive. I tried to get pregnant by 3 other boyfriends. Needless to say they all have kids now. I have been
TTC now 3 years and 1 month as of august 29th. I explained to current boyfriend it would be tough to get me pregnant. Now we've been together 4 years. All fertility tests are normal. I ovulate regularly, periods regular, SHG was good HSG was good. I know its me. My exs got women pregnant after me. THIS FEELING Red is like death. Do you remember losing someone dear to you? Have you ever watched someone in your family loose someone close to them. As a woman I dreamed of being a mom. I wrote a poem at age 13 about what kind of mom I wanted to be. I also had tons and tons of baby dolls as a girl. I don't know if you have kids. But if you do that is harder for her. If you don't like my boyfriend there is fear he is going to leave me for a fertile 24 year old and test his sperm 'seed" on a woman 10 years younger than me. What hurts is I'm 33 and in fertility years thats ancient. Your poor wife is experiencing menopause at 36. That would make any woman implode. After years of her trying to stay hopeful and being poked and prodded like a lab right scientific experiment where she hoped jusy one sperm would meet that egg and that bean would stay attached but didn't. Is like finding out your brother mother sister died. She is mourning and she is pissed. So yoy let her deal with it how she does. However, you can try to remove her mind. Take her to dinner travel write a poem, Take her to an ocean have her write down everything about the journey of fertility thats pissed her off or what kind of mother she wanted to be. Have her put that letter in a bottle and toss it in the lake with rose petals. Hell I should take my own advice and try that myself when I go to myrtle beach. Its hard for you to understand her but the IVF process was hell for you as well. But worse for her I know I'll never get over my unexplained infertility. I'm so hurt. I trust Gods plan I do not understand why I haven't conceived but somewhere in the bible it says"do not lean on your own understanding. Hug her let her scream shout cry she may never be the same as you remembered her. Because hope has been lost. She is mourning the death of this journey, death of a unborn baby dream, death of names she thought she'd name her baby,death of what it would feel like to get pregnant, I have never conceived, if she had miscarriages, then its mourning that loss, mourning not having a rainbow baby accept her pain and depression, there are many wonem that get so depressed thay they think suicidal, we are made to desire to procreate i will say this my boyfriendz mom didn't do treatment but she went through menopause ay and 30 and in the middle of this discovery my ex Was bprn he is her.one and only child

The fact that you’re on here says a lot about how dedicated you are to the process.
My husband let’s me vent. But the greatest thing he’s done for me is be optimistic. He’s positive and enthused.
I haven’t given him ANY restrictions on who he can or can’t tell about our fertility journey, because I want to make sure he has a network of support. I’d advise you to speak with your wife and see if she’s comfortable with you sharing things with others as needed. I also went and got therapy, joined a church and am in the process of finding a personal trainer. What this does for my husband is it builds my support network so that he isn’t the only one I rely on. I know that sounds expensive, but so is fertility treatment, so why not? I wish you both the best and I believe our babies will find us. Lots of love from Texas!

The fertility journey is stressful for everyone involved which can cause tension in your relationship. However, it doesn’t have to. Come to doctor’s appointments. Make time to go to doctor’s offices. It’s one way to show your support and shows that you are invested. You already know that communication is an integral part of any relationship. But it’s important to emphasize it. Ask how the treatment is making her feel. Ask if she is concerned about what the doctors say. Also, let her know what you think about the process and share your opinion. The path to pregnancy contains many hurdles. If you suppress your emotions about complications in the process or your anxiety over financial issues, then you are doing yourself and your partner a disservice. As men, it might not be your first instinct to share your emotions, but sharing can help your wife to know that she isn’t the only one burdened. Sharing your fears makes her feel like she isn’t alone and allows you to support her better. Taking care of chores that you wouldn’t usually do like laundry, cooking, or cleaning can all be ways to show you care. This won’t go unnoticed.

I know you mean well, and being on this site and asking for help shows that. but from your post and the way you phrased the question, I feel like you are not approaching the situation and your wife the best way.

You want to help her "overcome" this, but instead you should think of just helping her, full stop. As other posters have said, facing infertility is equivalent to a major loss. For 50% of women who struggle with infertility, it will be the hardest challenge they ever face. Infertility causes trauma, and many women will struggle with clinical PTSD. You talk about how your wife is acting, but not very much about how she is feeling.

Perhaps your wife seemed like a very different person five years ago. But she's been through a harrowing five years and is now coming face to face with her own worse-case scenario. You can do all you can to support her, listen to her, ask her how she is feeling. Try to think of things you can do for her, or you can do together, that could add some joy to her life. Also, if she hasn't already, it's likely that your wife could benefit from professional help. There are therapists who specialize in infertility, and she is going to need a lot of specialized support to get over this loss.

I hope that you and your wife find happiness, and that your marital bond will remain strong and loving.