Hi WorryWart18 - I'm sorry for your struggles and I really hope all the best for your upcoming cycle. That is awful that you are feeling treated this way. I find there is a huge difference between doctors being realistic with situations, and then being completely judgemental. My doctors office is a mix! Sometimes I feel overwhelmingly supported and like they have my back, and then there are the times I go in and feel I have to fight for information and to be treated like a human woman and not just a number passing through. I think the best thing I could have possibly done for myself was research the crap out of every process, step and med on my own so I could formulate better questions and understanding that sometimes the Dr. offices lack to prepare you for. Youtube became a great source. I hope this helps and wishing you all the best XX

Hi! I too am trying to have a baby in my 40s. I hate people (medical and not medical) telling my I'm getting older and my chances are slim. I had a miscarriage last year and haven't gotten pregnant since. In my head I am telling people to shut up when they talk about my age. I have a slew of profanities go through my head. :/ I do have days at the fertiltiy clinic where I feel hopeful and then days where a nurse will say something that crushes my spirit. Oh well, I am going to try IVF soon and is it doesn't work I will finally be able to have closure and move on. Until then I feel like I am in limbo.

Good luck with everything. I always feel a little better when I read that somebody is also in their 40s and trying. :)

Sorry about the miscarriages and I wish you the best of luck going forward. There is nothing wrong with trying in your 40s. Its so common now too! My doctor's office is SO supportive. They are very positive. Also, my doc will evaluate you and your history, not anything based on age. They see patients who are 46 and can conceive via IVF and some at age 26 who fail. It really depends on where your body is. If you feel under pressure by your current clinic, I suggest consulting with a few other places. Especially since you've proven that you ALREADY CAN conceive!
My clinic does ultrasound/bloodwork then emails me later that day and tells me very specifically what drugs to take and how much and for how long. I am an IVF veteran, so I know how to draw up/mix/administer, but if I did not know how, there is always a nurse around to help. They would also demo in office if I ask them during the 9-5 business hours. Also, my doc checks his emails round the clock, so sometimes he'll email me back pronto. I am really blessed with this staff. If you wanted to consult or even phone consult with them, its Hanabusa IVF in San Diego and they specialize in advanced maternal age.

So sorry you are getting judgement. I'm in the first phase of my first icsi cycle. I'm approaching 40.
when I was first referred to the fertility clinic the nhs dr told us it was highly unlikely we'd get funding (they were wrong). When I was upset by this, she actually said 'if you were that worried about your fertility, you should have dealt with it 5 years ago'.
I was shocked, furious, upset, stunned into silence.
What an absolute bitch.
5 years ago I was being dumped in a horrible breakup, because my ex had decided he didn't want kids.
Dr's allow their personal views to cloud their professionalism. Many are cold and heartless in this field. I've learnt not to expect anything more than an unkind robot when I have my appointments! If you get a good one then great, but don't expect it sadly! I go to an independent counsellor for emotional support instead.