Sorry this is a long one girls, but after writing in my journal I really can't stomach writing a shorter post.... Thanks for listening yet again!

Well I had some friends over for lunch yesterday that I havent seen for a very long time, she tracked me down after speaking to a friend of mine and getting my details. I invited her and her husband to lunch as we used to be good friends while we worked together and they now have a little girl (only a few months old) who is really lovely and sweet and I thought it would be the right thing to do. Anyway we got chatting as you do and our conversation turned from old work colleagues and times to her pregnancy. She fell pregnant on her first week, YES first week of trying to conceive which was really hard for me to take as I have been trying for what seems an eternity I have to admit it was kind of nice listening to all the wonderful things she went through and how amazing the process is, however I couldnt help but get some horrible pangs of jealousy and hurt as it does inevitably the conversation turned to me and DH and our problems having a baby. She knew that we were TTC as we worked together a few years back and I told her then that DH and where thinking of trying for a little one back then. The first question she asked was oh well how long have you been trying now followed by a great look of concern and pity when I told her it has been almost two years.IT WAS HORRIBLE! Having to talk to this girl who had NO idea what I was going through as she NEVER EVEN had a BFN let alone be able to understand what it means when your doc tells you that IVF may be the only recourse we may have to conceive or even fathom all the stress, anxiety and HUGE expenditure it will mean for us to attempt IVF which may or may not work all this at the same time as having to bounce HER baby on my lap the whole time and stop my self from braking down and just crying my heart out! All she could do was to give me the poor you look which really annoyed us It got so bad that my poor DH left the room feigning a toilet break and came back about 10 minutes later after checking on the dog, rabbit and washing. Why do people have to be such SHIT HEADS why cant they just leave such topics alone, particularly when they can tell that they are an uncomfortable topic I havent seen this girl for years and she comes into my house showing off her perfect family asking all sort of intimate questions and giving me a little pity party oh and by the way she also told me that now that I had been playing with her baby, I may just be able to get baby germs... or if all else fails maybe I can come to her work and sit on her chair as maybe that could do the trick... I JUSt GIVE UP.... LIFE IS NOT FAIR!