Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
I really need your advice; things are spiralling out of control here for me...
First DH and I decided to put TTC on the back burner til the end of the year to give me a little down time and a chance at finishing my doctorate with a chance of sanity, a decision that has been incredibly upsetting and hard to make then two weeks ago one of mine and DH's friends had a little bub, I was happy and sad all at the same time, but I thought oh well it will be my turn one day... then one of my friends from college who had claimed both her and her older sister had IF problems (she told me her sister had had 2 years of IVF and then had given up) tells me she is preggo to her boyfriend of only 3 months! I was so happy for her and so sad for my self for all the typical reasons... we talk a few days later and she tells me that her and her partner are thinking of GETTING RID OF THE BABY!!!! Yes you heard right! As she is unsure if she wants one at this point in time???!!! trying to be supportive and a good feminist I said to her 'well I can't tell you what to do as you have to do what is right for your self, but at least you know now that you can get preggo so there are no reasons why you couldn't again' to which she replies 'oh no its o.k I mean the women in my family are all really fertile so I always knew I would be able to get pregnant' WHAT THE F&^%#!!!!! she had just spent the best part of the last year talking to me about IF and listening to my own pain and suffering, what the hell was that all about, some little bit of research she was conducting on the side or something! I feel so so so violated and duped!!!
Then there is my DH who is all angry and frustrated because I haven't really felt like sex as I am feeling really depressed not only because of all of the above reasons, but also because tomorrow is my bday and my main goal for the year was to get preggo and well it didnt happen so I am feeling sad, grumpy and just blah....
I just don't know what to do, I am dealing with so many emotions right now and cant seem to put things into perspective I feel incredibly confused, hurt and alone right now. Any words of wisdom would be really appreciated
Thanks girls
First DH and I decided to put TTC on the back burner til the end of the year to give me a little down time and a chance at finishing my doctorate with a chance of sanity, a decision that has been incredibly upsetting and hard to make then two weeks ago one of mine and DH's friends had a little bub, I was happy and sad all at the same time, but I thought oh well it will be my turn one day... then one of my friends from college who had claimed both her and her older sister had IF problems (she told me her sister had had 2 years of IVF and then had given up) tells me she is preggo to her boyfriend of only 3 months! I was so happy for her and so sad for my self for all the typical reasons... we talk a few days later and she tells me that her and her partner are thinking of GETTING RID OF THE BABY!!!! Yes you heard right! As she is unsure if she wants one at this point in time???!!! trying to be supportive and a good feminist I said to her 'well I can't tell you what to do as you have to do what is right for your self, but at least you know now that you can get preggo so there are no reasons why you couldn't again' to which she replies 'oh no its o.k I mean the women in my family are all really fertile so I always knew I would be able to get pregnant' WHAT THE F&^%#!!!!! she had just spent the best part of the last year talking to me about IF and listening to my own pain and suffering, what the hell was that all about, some little bit of research she was conducting on the side or something! I feel so so so violated and duped!!!
Then there is my DH who is all angry and frustrated because I haven't really felt like sex as I am feeling really depressed not only because of all of the above reasons, but also because tomorrow is my bday and my main goal for the year was to get preggo and well it didnt happen so I am feeling sad, grumpy and just blah....
I just don't know what to do, I am dealing with so many emotions right now and cant seem to put things into perspective I feel incredibly confused, hurt and alone right now. Any words of wisdom would be really appreciated
Thanks girls
Please know you are not alone! And in times like this when you think you are... read the discussions of this group and hopefully you will feel you are not alone.
I'm sorry. I think I just validated your troubles but really didn't help much. I think the correct way to deal is to try to be positive. I try as much as I can to be positive for everyone else on DS even when I don't feel so positive about myself. Just try to remember that any one month it will be your turn. We just have to do the best we can and try to be patient while we wait. Remember how you were before IF and how different everything was. Can you try to wake up tomorrow and pretend for a day that IF doesn't exist for you? I don't know. I would like to be able to help, but I'm not sure what else to say.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope you wake up with smile and, despite all things, have a very happy birthday. xoxo
I also understand how incredibly hard it can be to pursue a demanding career, balance infertility appointments, not to mention all the emotions. Sometimes you feel like you need to just stop to come up for air. At the end of the day you have to do what is right for you.
Just know your not alone and you can always come here to vent.
As far as her wanting to "get rid" of the baby, I am totally uphauled. I can not imagine how that made you feel. Just know that you are not the only woman that feels this way. You are not alone..We are always here for you whenever you need us. (sorry if I rambeled too much) :) Jessica